My husband wants a divorce, and I am completely sideblinded by this. It was so sudden, I had no idea he was thinking that way...we were so happy, or so I thought. What helped you through a time like this??
2006-09-12 03:06:56 · 22 answers · asked by ShineOnYouCrazyDiamond 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Mercman, I am not here to provide an explanation about why my husband and I are divorcing. No one has to understand why but him, apparently, and it does not matter whether this makes sense to you. I am asking for ways to quit with the grief, and move on with my life.
2006-09-12 03:45:53 · update #1
First I wanted to say that I am deeply sorry that you going through such a hard time.. I would suggest to seek comfort from friends and family .. go to counseling to get the emotions out and don't hold it in. As well, take steps to move forward .. to build your life and find your own happiness.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-12 03:09:55 · answer #1 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was the shock of my life too. I had several other very serious things going on at the same time - major surgery, business expansion and changes, etc. I had a tough time of it. It was worse because he didn't tell me until right before the divorce was final of any real REASON. But eventually, I realized that even though I didn't want it, I would be happier without him. The fact was that I had to try too hard to be happy with him. I'm proud of the fact that I did my best and have a clean conscious about it. The funny of the whole story was that everyone thought that it was ME that left. I guess I was the only one missing the writing on the wall all that time (9 yrs together.) Now I spend more time focusing on myself, rather than on making someone else happy. And I have found a great man that is much more compatible and compassionate. There's hope - it just takes time. Good luck!
2006-09-12 03:12:36 · answer #2 · answered by hiddenhotty 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a lot of pain - heart ache - loneliness's - hurt - ashamed - crying -
asking God why ? Family - separation - desperation
Well anyway, it does hurt and probably for a long time - but that is just it - TIME - give it all the time it needs to heal - find someone who can talk with you about this situation - your church will have a group that can help you through this - and you will need help - it is best not to get your friends to involved with this part of your life - they will give you understanding for a while and then they will start to drift off - It really is best to find someone who will help you through this time. Don't get involved with other men - they will only try to take advantage of you and your loneliness - I mean that lady - they will only try and hurt you more - by leaving you after getting what they want - unless you have a male friend that you trust a whole lot!!! a whole lot !!!
Take care of yourself - there are thousands of people who go through this every week - the pain and hurt will go away eventually, but it could take a long time - SMILE and try to do your very best to make it through each day - keep your chin up -
Again, take care of YOU - and stay healthy !!!!
2006-09-12 03:28:33 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
considering which you're becoming to be a divorce it rather is a stable concept to place distance and time between you and your ex. focus on your challenge and not on the divorce with the aid of fact what you're doing is important and ought to have all your interest. some issues ensue for a reason. My motto is 'while one door closes yet another one opens" and that i'm speaking from experience. carry in there, and we are all so pleased with the sacrifice which you all are making for our us of a.
2016-11-07 04:12:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me, my kids, knowing that i couldnt fall completely apart for their sake.. knowing i had to be strong enough for them.. meant alot of crying in my room .. its very hard at first i loved my x husband so incredibly much and like u it came out of no where, just to find out he was cheating with a girl he worked with..
Girl do urself a favor... tell him that he has up untill the divorce papers are signed to try and come back and work things out.. after u say that to him.. become numb when dealing with him, never let him see u cry, dont let him get u upset.. he wants that.. dont do it.. he wants u to fall flat on ur face.. even if he doesnt say it, he does.. be strong.. show him u can survive him.. it gets easier with each passing day.. some days are going to be better then others.. and theres no quick fix for the pain ur feeling took me 7 long years to get over my x husband doing this to me.. but everything u do, do it with pride, and be able to hold ur head up every day and know u did all u could and he is the one that "failed" not u.. the more confident u act, the more u succeed the more its going to drive him nuts.. he wants u to pine over him, he wants u to beg, he wants u to fall apart, dont do it, not infront of him.. it builds ur confidence in urself and it makes him wonder at the same time.. doesnt mean he'll come back, but it makes it easier on u , if u can find ways of copeing.. u will get through this.. and the man u love isnt the man he is today.. u love the man that married u, that promised never to put u through this kind of pain, so he's not the same man today.. realize that who he's become isnt the same person he was..
Good luck..
2006-09-12 03:26:57 · answer #5 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Friends, knowing that it takes a YEAR of mourning, doing things for yourself...things that make you happy...getting a manicure, getting your hair styled, picking up an activity that gets you OUT of the house, redoing the apartment or house a little...moving furniture around, etc., LOVE YOURSELF, know that you are an AMAZING person...that people do like you, that you are foxy and beautiful, and try to resign to the fact that you just need to move on. There will be good days and bad days...emotions and memories come and go like the tide (even 5 years after the fact-but they are less painful). One minute, hour, day, week, month, and year at a time.
Oh, during the really painful (chest wrenching), sad times...a shot of tequilla (one! don't let a monkey on your back!) and chocolate! a small piece of 60% chocolate does wonders! I swear by it.
HUGS!
2006-09-12 03:14:10 · answer #6 · answered by What, what, what?? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all been there done that,Im telling you that is tha saddes feeling you thnk about all the time you spend with him and with his family,,,but think about that every human being is a half a soul a woman is a half a person and a man is a half a soul,and when you two combine together then you become as one,,, think about how maybe you where not his half but think about that GOD dint intent to make us to be alone and you just have to wiat a little ,,, and soon GOD will but out there your half a soul to make you happy... l use to think that it was better for them to only love you that way I would not get hurt,,, but now I think of is better to have loved and lost that to never have know that feeling of love,,,but I think you should not give up that easily try to go to a couples counsiling ,,,,you never know maybe thats all you need
2006-09-12 03:20:25 · answer #7 · answered by Airforcepink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I divorced...kept a cool head and continued building my career. Who would of ever imagined that down the road my ex would want back into my life. I never hated her and always have loved her. We have somehow, g\bopth learned a valuable lesson in all of this. We are not backl together again, but the time I have spent with her these last few weeks have been so respectful, that it looks like we both goofed getting a divorce.
2006-09-12 03:16:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Besides the tears, family, friends, prayer, and God- I got me through it. Sounds strange but once I believed in myself things started going much better.
I took a long look at myself in that old mirror and liked what I saw but it could be better. So! I went shopping, had lunches with friends, did the things I wanted to do and just let life happen. Yes! I took care of business, so to speak, but I did it with a hell of a lot more confidence then I would have if I had just wallowed in all of that.
He wants a new life, then let him have it so you can too.
We live in a "throw away" society and it is affecting everything.
2006-09-12 03:17:17 · answer #9 · answered by dragon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Skoob you have been reported. No need for that ridiculous answer. Anyway - you should probably speak to a psychologist, it helps to pour your thoughts and feelings out. Also read a lot of self help books. There's a good book called In the Meantime. I know it helped me when I went through a really difficult breakup. It helped me realize things, perhaps why it happened, signs that I didn't see, etc. Try to keep yourself really busy with family and friends. Go out a lot with friends, its a distraction and eventually with time you will get over it. Everyone always does but with time. Just remember as hard as it seems, ultimately you don't want to end up with someone who doesn't want to be with you as much as you wanted to be with them or someone who doesn't love you anymore. Have more respect for yourself, have more love for yourself and know that there is someone out there better for you.
2006-09-12 03:16:12 · answer #10 · answered by SxyPR 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋