How do I approach this without looking uncooperative?

Question

I have a coworker who does not like me. It's not the other way around. People have told me that she's had several problems with other coworker throughout the year. It's been a continuous issue with this particular person. I'm not sure why she doesn’t care for me but it's gotten so ridiculous that she almost daily complains about me to my supervisor and when I explain why I handled a situation in the way I did, 99% of the time it's obvious that she's just creating drama. I work in a very professional environment and for the most part ignore her rants. I do my job and get along with everyone else. In the morning I say good morning to her despite her everyday ignoring me. I can honestly say I've done nothing to her. Other people have suggested a possible emotional problem since this has been an issue with other people as well. They want me to have a sit down with her and get our feelings out. I think this is ridiculous. How do I approach this without looking uncooperative?

Answer 1

Ignore her. Every time she complains to your supervisor and you supervisor asks you to explain, write a memo to your supervisor saying that she is continually distrating you from getting your work done by making false claims that you are then required to explain. Ask your supervisor to do something to put an end to her false charges--for example, ask you supervisor to ask this co-worker to start writing all of her complaints and providing evidence in her memos.

This is your supervisor's problem--it diverts workers energy from doing the job.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Do the sit down and explain that not everyone gets along with the people they work with but as long as you are coworkers you would like to keep it on a professional working basis and leave any personal feelings that her or you might have out of it. Explain that you have no harsh feelings and was wondering why this has to be a drama at work.

Answer 3

The sad thing about a sit in is nothing will smooth things over. They just don't like you. Some people are just as*holes and that is just how they are. No amount of sit ins or smooth overs are going to work. Just keep a positive attitude, and continue to do your job professionally. If it becomes a problem within the office, then your manager should make the decision based on merit if that person is in need of being removed. I would not do the sit in, in my opinion. I would just let my work speak for itself.

Answer 4

Gather the people that HAVE had problems with her, and either sign a letter acknowledging/witnessing each other's issues with this particular co-worker and address it to HR, or simply make an appt as a group with your HR representative and talk this out with HR first. Then HR should approach this co-worker and address these wide concerns, if you sit down w/her face-to-face it will appear in HR terms as you being the problem, and not the other way around.

Answer 5

I know it feels that her intentions are directly upon you. It sounds more like she uses people as her whipping posts. She is obviously under a lot of stress either from her work there or from home. Being compassionate is hard sometimes especially when you have taken so many hits, but try to realize that it likely has nothing to do with you really. Instead of just being polite and tip toeing around her. Try to be a friend. Someone who really cares. Instead of sparring out the anger points...go to her and say something like...
Look...I know you and I have not really been getting along very well. I want you to know though that I choose not to take it personally. I realize that you have a lot on you and I would prefer not to be your opponent. I want to know if there is anything I can do to help ease your stress. Would you like to have lunch? I'm concerned for you and see that you are going through something right now. I want to help.
In many cases...a person who is experiencing something difficult will break down at this kindness. They need somewhere inside to reach out and for someone to listen and care. It is so difficult for that to occur in the workplace however because it is drilled into our heads that we aren't suppose to be friends or bring anything from home into work. We forget how to be human and care for one another sometimes. It is my intuition that you will get a lot more accomplished through loving communication with this person.

Answer 6

I think your co-workers are right. I think you should sit down with her, but not alone. It needs to be mediated by a third party, ideally someone with mediation skills, but if that's not available, an HR representative or even your boss (or SEVERAL co-workers--if you go with co-workers, you need to take 2 or 3 as witnesses to the conversation and to help keep it moving forward. They should NOT side with either of you though) and whichever of those resources is available to you, you should do it. Avoid accusing her of emotional problems, but you can address the pattern. She continues to act this way because she is allowed to. The correct way to deal with interpersonal issues of any kind is to confront the problem in a gentle way.

Answer 7

I say continue doing what you are doing. It is obvious that she is the one with the problem and I am assuming management is aware of this. I know it makes for a difficult day. Hang in there. I commend you for dealing with this so diplomatically

Answer 8

i actually agree...thats probably the best way to do it...unless you want the behavior to continue..peer counseling is a good solution...have a 3rd party that can act as a mediator and help you guys express your feelings...it would be a good idea, just try it...maybe she just feels misunderstood...who knows...sit down with her, have a heart to heart, or even take her out to lunch or something, somewhere, where she won't feel intimidated...good luck

Answer 9

i'm a definite educator with my masters degree in specific education. If the instructor is answering your sons questions yet merely being impolite and nevertheless following the IEP there is amazingly little which you're able to do. whether if she is in breach of the IEP and you prepare it start to threaten to checklist the college, they are going to be fined a touch hefty fee in the event that they are in breach of the IEP. And on a similar time because it relatively is almost the top of the twelve months and that i'm constructive they gained't pass him, ensure you pay close interest to how his instructors cope with him next twelve months. no longer that i'd desire to tell you this, you look noticeably on top of issues with your son. And if next twelve months issues are like this along with his new instructors call for that the college ameliorations what type he's in. i be attentive to that's in all probability little or no convenience to you yet you merely would desire to make it during the college twelve months at this factor. i'm so sorry his instructor is like this it extremely is actual unfair and something the youngsters with disabilities would desire to by no potential would desire to stand. tell your son to maintain sturdy and remind him universal that no longer something is incorrect with him, he merely learns in yet in any different case and perhaps even sees the worldwide in yet in any different case, that's what makes the worldwide what it extremely is. We does no longer all choose to be the comparable. i desire he would be very properly for something of the college twelve months.

Answer 10

I think this airing out session may be a good idea. You will have the final say so, but if it were me, I take this opportunity to possibly settle things.