i have stoped my boyfriend from going out this sat cause it is my bday on monday and i want to spend it with him! bt for last 2wks he has wanted to go out and i have stoped him cause... i duno really guess i dnt trust him.
2006-09-12 03:03:25 · 43 answers · asked by purdy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
yes, you've been selfish.
2006-09-12 03:05:09 · answer #1 · answered by le_coupe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two issues here. Firstly, you can't stop your boyfriend or anybody come to that from going out and not being with you. There is a thing called freewill!! Secondly, you are admitting that you do not trust him, which means the relationship is not right. You cannot love someone you don't trust and if the trust isn't there the relationship will never be a happy one. I would not want someone to stay with me who didn't want to be with me, birthday or no birthday. I think you need to have a long hard look at this relationship and decide whether or not it is time to move on. I can't say you have been selfish because if your boyfriend wanted to go out then he could, he doesn't need your permission. Hope this helps.
2006-09-12 03:16:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope hun. some on here wil say that you are selfish, but you hit the nail on the head with the las part of your question. Its not really about the birthday its about the no trust thing. All I can say is that I had the same problem with my boyfriend, I didnt trust him and rightly so, he used to come home with messages and all sorts, and sometimes not come home at all. We split up for a while and then got back together and he is a changed man now. What I will say is why dont you trust him?has he given you a reason to not trust him? if he hasnt then the problem lies with yourself and needs to be dealt with before it breaks up this relationship. maybe you should start going out with your girlfriends aswell, your relationship needs room to breathe or he will run. He should want to spend your birthday with you without you asking him to, so if you have to ask, theres a problem, maybe hes feeling suffocated. (All this of course if he hasnt done anything to harm your trust). You maybe need to talk to him and tell him how you feel because you wont be able to stop him going out forever and your thoughts will get worse. Maybe you could suggest some things that you can do together. Good Luck Honey xx
2006-09-12 03:11:37 · answer #3 · answered by Kelly D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I remember that feeling too well, by restraining your boyfriend you are pushing him further away and he may end up leaving you.
Trust comes after time, try not to stifle him, if when your boyfriend goes out try to do something yourself that way it will help take your mind of him and what he is doing. I would agree with you that as it is your birthday on Monday I can understand why you would want to go out on the Saturday, but this is a little difficult as you have already put paid to him going out the previous two weeks, come to some agreement and say if he will take you out on the Saturday maybe he could go out on the Friday. Be warned jealousy is self destruction and can ruin the best of relationships, good luck.
2006-09-12 03:11:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you've 'stopped' your boyfriend from going out and you don't trust him? If he honestly cares and wants to be with you, you shouldn't have to 'demand' that he stays or not. He'll rebel against your 'orders' and that certainly can't make for a good relationship.
If he has truly done/said something that makes you not trust him, then ask yourself, 'Why do I choose him for a boyfriend'? You'll ALWAYS be better off by yourself than with someone...anyone, you don't trust. Let him go...
Enjoying your freedom from a potentially untruthful relationship sounds like a perfect way to celebrate a birthday!!
2006-09-12 03:19:19 · answer #5 · answered by Paddywack 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust him it's hardly the basis for a good relationship is it? He must have done something to make you not trust him in the first place. Or are you just a very insecure person?
Can't you see him on Friday or Sunday and let him go out on Saturday? If you insist on stopping him going out, he will get fed up and dump you in the end.
2006-09-12 03:10:44 · answer #6 · answered by The Findleys 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi no you havent been selfish its like a mental problem, you may have been hrut by someone in the passed, or you love him that much you are scared not to do anything without you being there. Its not being selfish its you caring so much. I dont see why you cant go out with your boy friend as you are a couple, but if its not your thing then i dont know what you can do. I know people say if he loves you he will come back to you, but if you are going to be sat at home worrying sick it will only make you ill. Cant you find someone to go out with, if he refuses to let you go out with your mates then it works both ways. All you need to do if you not wanting him to go out is starting to cause arguements between you both, is just let him go and then bite your tongue all the while he is out. But like i said you are a couple and you should be really going out together, wheather its with his mate or yours. I know people say they like there own space but arent they getting there own space at work or collage. You will just need to talk to him.But if he hasnt gone out because you have stopped him he cant be too bad, as some lads as soon as this happens they finish with there new girl friend. But if you dont trust you never will be comfortable with it.
2006-09-12 03:16:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guess? Give him the benefit of the doubt until you know otherwise. You should not stop him all the time from doing what he wants, cause eventually he will leave you and find someone more understanding and not so suspicious. You can tell him to go out on the weekdays and save some of the weekends for you to compromise.
2006-09-12 03:06:15 · answer #8 · answered by wondering 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not go out with him to celebrate your b-day and kill two birds with one stone. About trust, i believe that trust has to be earned. If he has earned it then cut him some slack if not, well, this is the test of whether or not he wants to be with you. If he wont stay home with you then you might want to reconsider your relationship. I hope this helps and bye the bye if he is a good man and you know it then YES! You are being not only selfish but childish as well.
2006-09-12 03:10:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he always gone out on Saturdays even before you met him, if so then its not worth fighting over is it, you know were there is no trust there is no love and were there is no love there is no point carrying on with the relationship, would you want him to change you, no, give him his freedom and have a good birthday on Monday.
2006-09-12 03:13:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well all i can sya is if you dont trust him then why are you with him???? and yes you are being very selfish,,,he has a right to go out and do things without you! Im sure he has friends he would like to hang out with besides you. Sorry to say but thats the truth,,,,by trying to control him you will run him off anyways,then you wont have to worry about him.
2006-09-12 03:07:16 · answer #11 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋