How can I persuade my wife?

Question

To go to and see the doctor. She quite clearly has been suffering with post natal depression since the birth of our son ( 4 months ago ) and I hate to see her so unhappy. I try to help her as much as I can , but it seems what ever I do is wrong. I've tried to persuade her to talk to someone about it but she just says that nothing is wrong. She's a good mother but she's really struggling at the moment. Any suggestions?

To the idiot that suggested that I have been watching coronation street I would say...Grow up, you obviously think that everyones lives revolve around soap opera. We don't watch soap opera's at all.

I would like to thank everybody ( with one exception) for the advice that they have offered. This has become a very difficult time for my wife and myself and have been worried that she may think that I've gone behind her back if I contact professionals myself. However, most of the advice on here has been very helpful and I realise now that its ultimately going to be up to me to do something to help her. I have now made contact with her health visitor who has agreed to visit my wife descreetly and have a chat. Hopefully, this will be the help she needs. Thanks once again.

Answer 1

I feel for you both, I to suffered for 2years I was suicidal, I didn't bond with my baby, I became obsessed with cleaning, my husband was at his Witt's end, He went to the baby clinic and speak to the health visitor and thing s started happening from there, I got home visits. There are voluntary organised agencies that can give her some time to herself once a week, for a few hours. Please go yourself and see what can be done, Tell her she isn't the only one to feel like this.
There are people to help you both. You seem to care a lot about her, at least she has you to help. I wish you all the best. She will get better.

Answer 2

The best person to go to initially is you health visitor. (you can find out who yours is by asking at your GP surgery) Health visitors are trained to help with PND and will have direct contact with your GP. It is also part of their remit to visit the baby at home so it would not seem too strange if she called your wife to make an appointment to visit. They now have specific questions that can help to ascertain the severity of PND and have a wealth of experience and can point your wife in the right direction as far as where to go from there. PND is very common, and part of the problem is that the mum thinks she is the only one that feels like this, it is hard to admit that you are feeling inadequate or not coping. You must be as supportive as possible, allow her time to have her own space and time to herself ie an uninterrupted bath. Have you got any local family that can have the baby for a couple of hours just so that your wife can have some "me" time. Quite often new mums feel that that is the only role they have now. Sometimes having a baby can make you feel like you have lost your sense of identity. Help your wife to feel that she is still a person in her own right that she not only is the mother of your child which is fantastic but that she is still special to you as an individual. I am sorry if this is asking Granny to suck eggs but seriously get in touch with your health visitor, I'm sure she would be able to help. Good Luck.(i

Answer 3

You are right to be concerned. I would suggest that you call the doctor yourself and explain the situation. Get his/her suggestions. It may be that you will need to make an appointment for your wife and just tell her that you did...put her in the car and take her there yourself.

Obviously, she could flatly say "no" and resist and you can't force her. But if you have laid all the groundwork, she will likely give in. I suspect at some level she knows she has a problem but her ego is not letting her admit it. She will probably be relieved when you take the decision into your own hands.

Good luck

Answer 4

No one wants to be told they are unhappy. It is something she will need to do on her own. but to get her to make that decision you should be armed with information. Try getting materials or printing things from the internet about Post natal depression and let her see that there is help and she is not the only one this happens to.
With women it is hard because all of a sudden your life changes with the birth of a baby and some can not handle the changes plus the chemical inbalences

Answer 5

It's a difficult one, If you have the details of your health visitor see if they can make a visit. Your wife would need to believe its her idea though. If her own mum is still around - maybe see if they could spend some unpressurized quality time together, this may help your wife to open up.

I'd imagine it to be a difficult time for you both, here's also a couple of websites that may help you both,

www.healthydirect.co.uk
www.pni-uk.com


Good Luck :)

Answer 6

I wouldn't really persue it unless you think she is in danger of herself or others. I have been trying to persuade my father to go to the doctors because he has the symptoms of heart disease, but I cannot get him to go. Like I said if you see signs that she is going to hurt herself or the baby then I would worry. If her mother is around, maybe have a chat with her telling her to talk to her daughter, but if only they get along good. Is this your guys first? She just may be realizing that your whole life has to change now. Send her to the spa for a relaxing day. I know you said you have been trying to help and she doesn't think anything is right. Most women are like that. They want it there way or no way. Just be supportive.

Answer 7

Hi no women like to be told they are suffering from PND,women think they are coping and can cope especially when they have a responsibility off a new baby.Perhaps when the health visitor is round nxt have a quiet word with her,i wouldnt do it in front off your wife,as she may think you are both ganging up on her.The health visitor will talk to her about this and will chat to your gp about the concerns the health visitor finds.Good Luck to you both.

Answer 8

i became interior the comparable challenge 8 years in the past and finally honestly insisted we take my son for an assessment. Your challenge is fairly uncommon (as became mine) via fact contained related to boys, that's many times the mother who intuitively is accustomed to that there is something incorrect - usually while she sees her infant work together with different toddlers of the comparable age in play communities and whatnot. that's usually the father who's in denial subsequently. My advice may be to easily insist the child get clinically determined, even to the component to bringing an authority on your place if the mother refused to take the child to an appointment. be careful nevertheless - the popular public of marriages with an autistic infant lead to divorce and mine became no diverse. Your spouse - if my adventure is any indicator - might have an entire meltdown and confirm she does not pick to boost the child with you any further. i don't understand the place you're placed, yet kin regulation in some states is a nightmare for father's - quite with a "particular desires" infant. attempting to confirm on the ultimate therapy for the child if the mother does not agree may be disastrous interior the legal equipment. Sorry to be so unfavorable, yet you should understand that to get from right here to there demands tip toeing by way of a minefield.

Answer 9

Tell her she could of ended up with twins! Somehow spend time with her and get her to smile or laugh, then suggest her talking to her doctor or gyne...She is struggling and the longer it goes on the moodier she will probably get. Hormones take time to go back to prepregancy as does the weight...What a wonderful husband to chip in and take care of things...Ask her how she wants stuff done before doing it because she probably has a set routine. Good luck...

Answer 10

My wife was having the same problem, and wouldn't go to the doctors, my advice would be to go to the doctors yourself have a chat with him/her or contact your local surestart for a chat with them, probablly best that the wife dosen't know about it. that way you should get some good advice about how you can go about helping your wife. Things will get better, they just take time, just be there for her, and take all the s'#t she throws at you!