She harly wants it and I always do...there is no compromise. I am at the end of my rope with this, and feeling like leaving.Everything else in our relationship is okay, but this issue keeps us fighting. Any ideas?
2006-09-12 02:48:24 · 25 answers · asked by gooterscooby 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank you everyone so much. I aprreciate all the great responses. I will tell you though, I have tried almost all of these things and nothing has worked! I suppose the one thing left to try is to ignore her and stop trying, but I am pretty sure she will flip this on me and tell me I must not want her anymore!..thanks again everyone
2006-09-12 03:11:12 · update #1
sxybrneyed...FYI, my wife has never seen my 360 page, and jessica biel is a meek issue when referring to this subject. To me sex is emotional, to my wife it's purely physical. you have it backwards. and who i crush over has nothing to do with our relationship.
2006-09-12 03:18:31 · update #2
Act like you don't want it, even if it means for 2-3 weeks. if she asks why just say that you are respecting her wishes and feel bad trying to force her to do it. Believe me it works, it worked with me, my husband doesn't even touch me anymore and I have to keep asking him to. He says he stopped because he was rejected so much, but he really really wants it but I guess he is playing a little hard to get.
If that doesn't work then you need to come up with other solutions but try that for now. I don't mean asking her everynight "do you want to do it?" and when she says no saying "ok, that's fine, just checking", I mean don't say or show any signs of wanting it AT ALL so that means don't even ask nicely.
2006-09-12 02:57:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its hard on a guy because we think that if she isn't in the mood we can change her mind frame with a little foreplay and that is not possible . but we being just guys try and in the end catch the prickly end of her patience and when she says no get away after we have worn her patience to its limit we then take it as personal rejection and get so pissed off that we are working hard and putting in the hard yards asking for so little in return and get shot down at every advance we make.
What i have learned is ... if she says no then it does as they say mean no . don't push for 1st base take it as a wash out and head for the far side of the bed only after you kiss her on the forehead and then think but don't say any of the frustrated things running through your mind . buy her a rose or some thing she likes and don't press her for sex just compliment her because she looks nice . say I love you at least a couple of times a day. try being a little more attentive like doing some thing she wouldn't expect .
you will see that she is going to notice and perhaps no guarantees but you might get lucky . after all isn't you marriage worth a little hard work its a small price to pay .
2006-09-12 10:13:16 · answer #2 · answered by slick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yep , stop feeding into her ego of u always being on the asking end and her always being on the denying end, start giving her the cold shoulder, start making her wonder why the sudden change.. stop giving her the power trip that she's getting from being able to turn u down.. may take some cold showers and personal alone time with urself.. but start actting really happy, like suddenly u could care less if u have sex with her or not.. and stop being so affectionate with her in the bed room kiss her and roll over and go to sleep may take a bit before she realizes this is a lasting trend, but she'll start wondering whats up with u.. start actting more confident.. spruce urself up before u leave the house, make her wonder what ur up to but know that ur not doing anything except 1. feeling better about urself.. and 2. peaking her curiousity.. and 3.. making her eventually chase after u..
Although frusterating.. dont give up on ur marriage.. .. sometimes people need a jolt to their system to get them to realize what they are doing.. so jolt her system.. be faithful to her.. .. but dont empower her..
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Oh and possibly maybe if she didnt feel she had to compete with Jessica Biel she may actually be more willing to put out.. as sex is more emotional then physical for a woman and if she feels she doesnt to compare to your "fantasy" then she may feel so insecure that she cant bring herself to want to have sex with u....
2006-09-12 10:06:57 · answer #3 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you got children? has she got a 'heavy' job...maybe she just can't be bothered. Pure and simple. Doesn't mean she doesn't love you or doesn't want to be with you. We are all different and maybe you guys need a few days away, nice hotel, and DON'T PUSH IT otherwise she will think that's why you took her there, if you do it fine if not then she may come home thinking that's not what you always want from her. If you go away though you are gonna have to be patient.
2006-09-12 10:24:36 · answer #4 · answered by aza 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have my sympathies ... my relationship is at a similar stage.
The only way round it is to talk at length about what you both want and to reach a compromise - something we haven't yet done.
Whatever you tell your wife, make sure to keep fantasy out of it and restrict yourself to good old vanilla sex ... maybe the fantasy part can come later.
2006-09-12 09:56:16 · answer #5 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It changes with age and eventually turns around you just need to continue to work at the relationship and dont let the little problems take the fun out of it.
Good Luck and God Bless!!
2006-09-12 09:56:07 · answer #6 · answered by msqtech 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go to the gym and work of your frustration or just your right arm what ever pleases you the most and try takeing her out a nice meal a show then back to a candle light supper with light bites like fruit and chocholate and offer to massage her but NEVER go in for the sex let her make the move
2006-09-12 09:53:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could compromise. Whenever she doesn't want it, suggest at least a "quickie" to her. You could also negotiate with a tradeoff. If she gives you want you want, then you'll give her (whatever it is) afterwards. Also, reward her afterwards with a freshely-picked Rose or breakfast in bed the next day, or anything else you can think of. Good luck!
2006-09-12 09:52:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit down, talk, and come to a compromise, if she won't then let her know you may have to leave. That might change her view on the subject. Don't use it as a threat, she will open the door for you. Good luck.
2006-09-12 09:52:43 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is a job. You really need to sit down and talk to your wife. Find out what's going on in her head. You can leave, but I guarentee you that it won't be any better. Try to work it out with your wife. If you truely love her, make it work.
2006-09-12 09:52:57 · answer #10 · answered by elementsoflife06 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋