My ex is taking me court in December for a divorce.Actually,we agreed to go for a divorce about 20 months ago.And I moved out of the house voluntryly but 2 weeks later I realised that it was a wrong decision to divorce.I tried to sit her down and explain to her that I still love her and I do like to come back home.But instead to listen to me she asked her father to help her change the house doors locks so that I couldn't move in.
She've got boy friend(s) now and she doesn't look at my side any more.But she still allows me to have a good contact with our child of 3.5 years.I still love her and I can't get her out of my head.And at this moment I can't keep any relationship without bringing her into discussion.By December the law permit her automatically to go for divorce with or without my agreement.
2006-09-12 02:31:59 · 27 answers · asked by devout_kindhonest 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you can't forget him until you find a new one
2006-09-12 02:33:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry you are having to go through this. There is no one answer I am afraid as the usual 'time is a great healer' just doesn't help right now. You do have to accept that the marriage is over as she has moved on and obviously you have to do the same. Not easy I know, particularly as you have to see her when you see your child. This is a constant reminder. The only advice I can give you is to focus on the bad things in the relationship and why you broke up in the first place and remove any reminder of her that you have in your present home. It will get easier in time I promise. As to her changing the locks, this is illegal and you could force her to allow you in by seeing your solicitor. That is if you own, or jointly own the house. My solicitor told me that I could not lock my ex out as he had an interest financially in the house. I do hope things work out for you eventually. Believe me you will look back and be glad that it happened one day, particularly when you meet someone else you can be happy with. Good luck.
2006-09-12 03:12:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, is there still a chance to revive the marriage at all? Sometimes when a woman wants to break up and go with someone else it's because her love tank is empty and she finds another place where it is filled. A lot of marriage problems can be solved by finding out what her love language is (words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch) and feeding that to her constantly even if she doesn't deserve it.
On the other hand, sometimes marriages/relationships break up because the partners in it aren't going the same direction. If this is the case, find out what she really is going for and see how you can help her get there.
If all else fails, sometimes relationships end simply because one partner doesn't want to be in it anymore. If it really has come to a dead end, then the only thing you can do is to accept the reality, grieve, and move on. You do this by replacing. No, not rebound, because that only makes things worse and victimises both you and the other woman. Avoid being alone or sitting in front of the TV because that's when thoughts about your ex come up. Get busy with activities that take the focus off yourself and pour yourself out to others... for example, building a new business, volunteer work, coaching sports, starting a band, theatre, or organising some kind of community activity. If necessary, move out of town so you can be in a new environment and more focused on living your new life.
2006-09-12 02:49:17 · answer #3 · answered by Mizz G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is to get out and do things, hang out with friends, find a new hobby, take a vacation! Start having fun again. Only time will heal your heart. You've got to accept the fact that it is over. It's obvious that she has moved on so you must do the same! Easier said than done, I know. Loosing someone you love is a difficult experience, but it's a part of life. We all have had this feeling and I promise you it does get easier. In my opinion you don't need to jump right into another relationship, I know people say to forget someone you start seeing someone else, but that doesn't work. Then you are going into something without getting rid of the baggage from the previous relationship! You must feel the pain and get through it. Whe time is right God will put someone in your life! SPend time with your children and begin a new life for yourself! You'll be okay! It just takes a litttle time! Good Luck!
2006-09-12 02:42:15 · answer #4 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Issues like this could be very complicating,but I'll give you a simple answer. Invite her for dinner and try to convince her you still love her (with words and actions).Do things that will please her and you can even get her a gift you know she will love. If after doing all this she still insist she wants the divorce,get over her! You can't kill yourself because of a woman who doesn't love you. If she still loves you she should have a soft spot for you. As the saying goes; there are many fishes in the river,if one doesn't taste good catch another. You don't have to do anything to get someone to love you for who you are. BE YOURSELF! the right woman will come in no time.
2006-09-12 03:07:51 · answer #5 · answered by Tricia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't forget her especially if you still love her. The time will come though when it doesn't hurt so much and you will eventually find someone else. Try to keep good friends as you don't want you child to suffer, as it was not their fault. I've been there so am not talking out of the top of my head. After almost 40 years I still see my ex and we have children and now grandchildren in common. They are lucky they have several sets of grandparents, so lots more presents at birthdays and Christmas.
2006-09-13 02:35:15 · answer #6 · answered by holiday2408 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How sad for you. I am sorry, but it seems as if the love is just one sided and one love no matter how strong can survive if it is not given back. You must let time be your doctor. Try to get out more, do things that you enjoy and maybe haven't done in along time and try to meet new people (not necessarily with the hope of love - just friendships).
Time will help heal. Good luck.
2006-09-12 02:36:04 · answer #7 · answered by London Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being that I don't know who did what to whom and why I'll try to answer anyway.
She is moving on with her life as should you. Once a person makes up their mind to that it is almost impossible to change.
Only visit your child and enjoy those moments-they maybe fewer in the future.
Try to be a good guy and stay away and you might have less to worry about with the divorce. That's hard to do but try to make it easier on yourself, her and especially that child.
This is no time to be dating if you still have feelings for ex. just go out with friends and maybe try a support group.
2006-09-12 02:41:21 · answer #8 · answered by dragon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its very hard,but,the only thing you can do is move on. apparently it takes as long as the relationship lasted to get over it. I'm prob not the best person to answer this as i divorced my hub 5 years ago we had 2 kids. we got back together 9 months after and we have now got 4 kids. he left me at Xmas for another. but i had him back again. mistakes are always being made. learn from em and move on. if she don't want you, really don't want you there is nothing you can do. just be nice. life's easier when everyone is nice.
2006-09-12 03:01:45 · answer #9 · answered by one who has no name 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will have to move on ...u have a child, so there will always be contact with your wife (picking up the child, dropping off, school situations, etc...) but the love for her should soon fade away, because after 3 mths or so of not wanting u back, she will never take u back, she's moved on with her life , now u have to move on with yours. Even if (which doubtfully will happen) u do get back together, it would happen again! Move on!
2006-09-12 02:51:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it is hard and you will never replace her. You do need to move on and start dating again. Look for the good qualities in other people you date. Everyone has there own personality and there will be other things you will see in other people that you didn't see with her. It is a good idea to part on a friendship bases though. It is much better for the kid. It is rough on kids to see the parents fighting.
2006-09-12 02:38:18 · answer #11 · answered by Just Bein' Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋