My whole life I always have had a problem. I always have to maintain contact with everyone, friends, family, collegues, church people. It seems they always want to have a real friendship with me but they never make first contact. I am fed up of always being the one that e-mails or calls. It seems they don't care about me as I do about they. I tried to shut my heart for this but only got sad and bitter. I don't feel i am some sort of jerk. I am just always quite hones and straightforward, I don't like to play theatre I tell it like it is. However I never want to hurt people so I may give my opinions but will never hurt anyone intentionally. Why is it that my frankness is punished. I always thought that the truth is the best.
2006-09-12 02:04:20 · 8 answers · asked by trytostayanonimous 2 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
i feel the same as you, i am always the one to contact my mates if i have not seen them in a while and i know that they care about me as they are always so pleased to hear from me, but i just wish that they would take the initiative and contact me.
it would be so nice to a get a phone call once in a while.
2006-09-12 05:48:49 · answer #1 · answered by welshwife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I understand you rightly, you feel you make the effort to stay in touch, and they respond in a friendly way, but you feel that if you didn't ever get in touch again, neither would they. Relax, this is completely normal. People fall into two types: those who take a pro-active approach to their social lives (the minority), and those who take a rather passive attitude (the majority). For the pro-active ones like you it can be very frustrating, and even saddening, but it doesn't mean that the others don't want to keep in touch, it isn't something you should ever blame them for, and there is a good side to it that means you should be very glad to be who you are. That is, you are completely in control of who you keep in touch with, and how much you keep in touch, and what kind of social interaction you have with each person or group of people. You may be happiest if you take on one or more "social secretary" roles, official or unofficial, where it's your job to keep in touch with a group of people and to organise social events. Keep these groups as open as possible, encouraging people to bring along other friends to events. Most of these people will simply form a backdrop and ambience for your social life, don't blame them for not being all that you want; from time to time, though, you will find the closer personal relationships that you want arise out of the groups that you are involved with. I hope this is relevant to your question, keep up your efforts, good luck and be patient.
2006-09-12 02:36:42 · answer #2 · answered by Sangmo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's how it works in Society, although, they may be taking you for granted because you are always making the first move.
Try being quiet for a while and see if they actually notice that you haven't contacted them for a few days or so...
Its all about give and take with any kind of relationship, and sometimes in life, you just have to give, give, and give without expecting anything in return. Unconditional love.
2006-09-12 02:15:14 · answer #3 · answered by Presea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suspect they don't want to hear the truth about themselves.
Would you, from someone else?
2006-09-12 02:19:02 · answer #4 · answered by cowgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is best, but only if they ask for it.
2006-09-12 02:43:39 · answer #5 · answered by The way I are 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's not punished...but inverse u have an opportunity to c the truth from their side....all u have to do ...to choose ppl with whom u would like to stay....:)
2006-09-12 02:11:43 · answer #6 · answered by El 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have always had the same problem, don't know why.
2006-09-12 02:13:55 · answer #7 · answered by hadjama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU GOTSTA LEARN HOW TO " PLAY DE SOCIAL GAME!"
2006-09-12 02:07:50 · answer #8 · answered by LONG-JOHN 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋