We have an honest open secure relationship and have even talked about a threesome with another woman but that would be something both of us participate in. He told me if i wanted a sex buddy, just one guy I knew and all it was was non emotional sex. No kissing involved, he would be ok with it. This freaks me out. How should I take all of that?
2006-09-12 01:50:56 · 47 answers · asked by shimmers76 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Could you explain how sex is non-emotional?
Even casual sex involves some degree of commitment. There's something screwy here
2006-09-12 01:52:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 10⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with you? Do you even know the definition of marriage? The vows that you two took? Does this sound familiar...to love, honor, in sickness and in health. You are sick, he is your husband. He should be able to hold off without sex for 6 weeks. Im sorry but you cannot be mad at him, this was your fault for giving him permission. If he cant hold off then he needs some serious help. Their is sex addictions, and you need to get help also, because your sick in the head for even thinking let alone allowing your husband to cheat on you. Think of the things he could catch from those other women he has sex with within those 6 weeks, then he's going to bring them home to you. You want to get divorced, or even separated, when you are the one who suggested this? Your hypocrit. You just ****** up your marriage. And he's ****** up for even agreeing to doing this, because if he was a decent man, and truly loved you he wouldnt even consider that. I have an idea, how about you two go get your heads checked out together. I feel sorry for your children, hopefully you were smart enough to not let them know what was going on or they may turn out to have the same screwed up brains as you two.
2016-03-26 21:42:19 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Variety is the spice of life. After years of being together, sex can become repititious. Lust is always present, for other than the one you marry. He probaby wants a little on the side also. Sex can be fun if just for the sex, no lovey dovey. It doesn't mean that he loves you any less, but that he is curious about what else is out there, like most people. If you both have a secure relationship, no jealousy issues, why not? Its called swinging, lots of people do it, and as longs as its consentual on both sides, I see nothing wrong with it. If your not comfortable, don't do it. It could drive you both apart.
2006-09-12 02:06:53 · answer #3 · answered by Becky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People like to believe they can have open relationships but it tends to end in misery. It sounds like you need to re-evaluate the security of your relationship, because you said it was secure and yet it doesn't look like you feel all that secure.
Unless you're both sociopathically apathetic there will always, always, always be issues with inviting a third party into a relationship. Someone will get jealous, someone will change their mind, or someone will get emotionally involved with the third party. When you start inviting people into your relationship you invite a lot of problems, you can't predict or control what happens no matter how strong your relationship started out.
Anyway.
Maybe he wants to have a sex buddy of his own and he's trying to justify it. Sounds like he's hoping you'll take the bait. You guys should probably schedule a little meeting and get to the bottom of his offer.
2006-09-12 02:15:15 · answer #4 · answered by cathrine c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but I couldn't share my husband with another woman,nor could he share me with anyone else. People that sleep with other people while they are married are committing adultry! I don't care how you look at it, it's just wrong! You all may think it's not going to cause any problems, but eventually it will. If my husband told me what yours said I would assume that he is telling me that because he wants to do the same. By giving you permission he is giving himself permission to do the same. You two need to see a therapist because this is not a healthy marriage at all! I am not trying to be hateful, I am just being honest and giving you my opinion. Please don't take it the wrong way! Good Luck and I wish you the best!
2006-09-12 02:32:50 · answer #5 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey you should take it as he already has some sex buddies. See I said some. Meaning he is only giving you the chance to have one. I think that you need to do some soul searching. That is little bit much. Why get married if you are going to be still sleeping with other people.
2006-09-12 02:24:22 · answer #6 · answered by Mila 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I guess that's something you should take as you will. Some people are comfortable with that, and some people are terrified by it.
Hard to tell his motives by offering that though. I would be suspicious if he was trying to slyly get your consent so that he could do the same, and then pull of the "If you can do it, why can't I?" trick.
In open realtionships, very open communication is critical to keep that afloat, so you should talk to him about how you feel about it, and work from there.
2006-09-12 01:54:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Conjecture here - knowing very little about you, your husband, or your relationship:
* He'd like to watch you having sex with another man, and perhaps join in.
* He's wants to have (or already has) a buddy of his own, and is feeling guilty that you don't know about it.
* He doesn't think he's satisfying you well enough and wants to see you properly sated.
* All, or a combination, of the above.
2006-09-12 01:57:14 · answer #8 · answered by DidacticRogue 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he is setting you up so he can have anither woman and not feel guilty about it. Also maybe you said something in the past about the size of his equipment and he wants you to experience someone bigger or smaller to see if you like it.
How many other guys were you with before you got together with hubby and how many other women has he been with? maybe it would just turn him on to see another guy inside you too. Some guys really like to see their wives and girl friends wiith other guys, It is a very erotic scene to see the your woman take another guy and the sounds and expressions they make as they are doing it.
2006-09-12 01:57:15 · answer #9 · answered by orygunduk1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this something that he has already done or does he have some one on his mind already? I would think that he has some one he wants to be sexual with.
A threesome is cool when you're not married. However, when you're in a committed relationship it can split you up quicker than you think. Especially when your partner brings the third party home and is with them alone!
2006-09-12 01:55:48 · answer #10 · answered by angels_smile75 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK I been there But my hubby was messing around at the time he told me this so I guess my hubby was feeling bad that he did mess around and he told me to get a sex buddy so I think it might be the same way bot not to sure ..I can't say for you.
2006-09-12 01:54:41 · answer #11 · answered by nightsky1331 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋