What should I do?

Question

Boyfriend is moving out in two weeks says he doesnt want to raise a child and needs space after 3 years.

My son is not his child.

Answer 1

do you have a child together? if so, it's his responsibility to be there for both of you. he should act in the best interests of the child and not be so selfish. men often whinge about needing space, but moving out is a bit extreme. why don't you two have some quality time together alone?

if you dont have a child together and/or not expecting one, then maybe it is time both of you do take a bit of space to reassess what you both want in life..

either way, you need to communicate to uncover the underlying problem. try this in a civilised manner and hear each other out... you may discover it is just a misunderstanding between you two, or that something got lost in translation...

good luck.

PS. if it is not his child then he isn't technically his responsibility. what you should focus on is the wellbeing of your son. that should be primary. everything else is secondary. if your boyfriend doesnt want to take care of the child, then he clearly doesnt care enought about you. let him go and don't look back. he will soon see what he is missing out on, and mr right i am sure is out there waiting to find you!

:)

Answer 2

What should do? Take good care of yourself! All of the energy that you have obviously been spending on keeping him happy...turn it inward and use it on yourself. Pamper yourself, including considering therapy to get you though this difficult time. You need an advocate in your corner and a professional, paid counselor would be just the thing! Also you may want to check out the following books: "Exorsizing Your Ex", "How to Break Your Addiction to a person" , "Don't Call That Man"
"How to Fall out of Love: How to Free Yourself of Love That Hurts--and Find the Love That Heals", "How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days: A Day-by-Day Guide to Saying Good-bye and Getting On With Your Life", "Letting Go: A 12-Week Personal Action Program to Overcome a Broken Heart". I wish you the best during this painful/difficult time.

Answer 3

Yep, I agree with what everyone else said. Let him go, move on with your life, and GET CHILD SUPPORT (assuming that the child is his).

There is no reason for you to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to be there any longer. That is something that would kill your self esteem. You need to be with someone who wants to be with you, and wants to help you raise your child.

Be strong... you will get over him. Honestly. Ask him to stay in a hotel/leave earlier if you can, so that you can start healing sooner. Be happy that he is leaving now instead of dragging something bad on for years.

Go back to being who you are and give yourself and your child the love and attention that you need. Take care of yourself and your obligations. Spoil yourself a bit if you have the extra cash and time.

Good luck to you!

Answer 4

If the child is your with him - see a lawyer and quickly! Make sure the child is taken care of financially. You cannot make a man stay with you, but you can make him be responsible for his child. Some men aren't ready to grow up and it sounds like you have one....you don't need two children - if he needs space give it to him. He is the loser - not you. BUT MAKE SURE THAT THE CHILD IS TAKEN CARE OF!

Good luck and count your blessings honey. You heart will heal.
((((((hugs))))))

Answer 5

Let him go. You can't keep someone bound into a relationship they don't want to be part of. If he can't see his way clear to love both you and your child, then you are far better off without him.

Any guy who bases love on whether or not there is a child involved is far too self-absorbed and self-centred.

You don't stand a chance in changing him .... he heeds to mature on his own.

Answer 6

Let him goand find someone who is prepaired to take your son if he wants you. Your son is your first priority. You can find lots of boyfriends but have only 1 child.

Answer 7

Start throwing his stuff out on the road now! Don't wait for him to do things at his convenience. If he's going to abandon you, you should preempt him by showing him the door tonight. The fact that you want to see him gone, may even cause him to want to stay with you again. Guys can be weird like that sometimes.

Answer 8

Let him go..you dont need a man to take care of you or a child. Get strong and do it yourself. Be independent for your own confidence.

Answer 9

Is the child his, and if yes what a $hitty coward. Move on and get him for child support

Answer 10

Go find urself a real man instead of a little boy trapped in a mans body..