My daughter will be 13 next month and I would love to get her something special but no matter what I give her it is never good enough or is considered less than what has been given to her 2 year old brother. She is very unappreciative an will only have negative things to say about any gift she gets.
Any ideas for a gift or advice for me to get over this and just accept that this is the way she is?
2006-09-12 01:18:27 · 42 answers · asked by AlongthePemi 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Hmmm... I'm getting some great ideas here and also some useful insight into how a teenager behaves.
Though I realize that I unintentionally left out some very important info on my daughter. She is very jealous and is resentful of her brother but not because of 10 years of being an only child. She was adopted at nine years old and he is biological.
2006-09-12 01:54:21 · update #1
It sounds like she's jealous of her brother. Why don't you take her out for a spa day with you? A grown up lunch, some shopping together, and a facial, pedicure, or whatever you think she'll enjoy. She's old enough to get a kick out of getting pampered and the special time she spends with you may help her feel a little less displaced by the baby.
Of course if it doesn't work you'll be stuck putting up with her bad attitude all day! lol Good luck!
2006-09-12 01:26:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anon 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At nine years old, your daughter came to you with baggage that probably included a lot of rejection. Then - just as she was settling into your family - you announced that a cute little baby was on the way! Try to understand where she's coming from. Some resentment is only natural!
Instead of trying to get cute with the present - think about what you can do to make her feel loved. She's growing up. What about a girls day out - just the two of you? Get mom and daughter pedicures and have lunch somewhere nice. Make it a very special day for her and then take her home to a little family surprise - maybe a cake and a few special guests.
Someone suggested a locket with a picture of the family. That would be a lovely surprise to end a day she'll never forget!
2006-09-12 03:36:48 · answer #2 · answered by mom of Em 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is great that you adopted an older child, I give you and your family a lot of credit. By the way when was the last time you had a family picture taken together and have it on display?
If she is responsible enough I would get her a locket of some sort that says I love you on it. Pool parties at a hotel are fun too. Maybe a day out getting hair and makeup done with you (her Mom) and maybe even a friend.
She is becoming a teenager now and they can go through major mood swings in a blink of an eye. I think that she just may need some reinsurance that you do love her and that she is now your daughter blood or not, and that you love her just the same.
Good luck to you.
2006-09-12 02:15:33 · answer #3 · answered by rranderson1968 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personally would give her a box of nothing. Yeah kids can be unappreciative but if you bow to their every whim they will do it more and more and grow up expecting to be able to get whatever they want when life is just not like that. I'm sure you will feel some guilt for doing this as i would do too but like the saying goes "got to be cruel to be kind". She will remember the "nothing" you gave her and in later years, when she is old enough to understand, will realise the meaning behind that box with nothing in it and may even appreciate why you did it. As a child I was "spoilt" and believe you me I wish my parents would have been harder on me as I'm finding life tough now as an adult.
As for being adopted, most children regardless of their background have some kind of resentment towards younger siblings due to the attention being taken from them and put on to the sibling.
Maybe trying to remind your 13 year old that some children have NO families to care for them, no clothes to wear, no food to eat, no roof over their heads, noone to love them and give them opportunities in life. She may not take this in immediately but im sure such a profound statement will have some effect on her as she grows to realise all you said was true.
Good luck......:-)
2006-09-12 02:09:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would say that since she feels so un appriciated and resents her younger brother, maybe do something with just her, go to a movie just you and her together or go to a ammusment park, or if shes at the kind of age that she doesn't like being around mom, then plan something she can do with her friends, but make sure her little brother is somewhere else at the time
2006-09-12 02:33:00 · answer #5 · answered by dragon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you this, but this scenario will go on at least 5 years! I raised 3 children and this is the worst age for the hormones raging, the attitudes and believe it, she even hates herself! A gift certificate is awesome, also money. I know it seems cold, but you will be telling her that she can make her own decisions and this will satisfy her. At this age, we have to start letting go (unfortunately), they are creating their own personalities and pulling away from you. At times she will surprise you with an unexpected hug...in the meantime, stay cool, choose your battles (most important) and pray that the 5 years goes swiftly! Good Luck, Mom!
2006-09-12 01:27:19 · answer #6 · answered by Barbara 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Music
2016-03-26 21:40:33 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww I'm 13 and I act the same way I've grown apart from my mom and I hate it and so does she. DO not listen to people who say get her nothing that will make her sooooo mad. I would go eat lunch with her and go get a pedicure and a facial and maybe go to the movies. LEAVE the 2 year old at home!!!!!! I wish my mom would take me to do that stuff........ Good luck and please get her something I mean She feels left out and confused and she doesn't know how to control her feelings. Wish her a happy b-day and tell her you love her
2006-09-12 15:57:41 · answer #8 · answered by Chiclacrosse 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Buy her a locket and put a picture of the family in it, then write a note to go with it saying how much you all love her no matter how she feels about things! Your daughter is very unhappy about something and this is her way of striking out. If possible, have a long talk with her and see if you can find out what is bothering her. good luck!
2006-09-12 01:25:56 · answer #9 · answered by Gerry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
13 next month a? well...email me or IM me so i can help you the most my IMs are gdog_909@yahoo.com BlazeYDH@aim.com gdog_909@hotmail.com the email that i check most frequent is BlazeYDH@aim.com soo please email me there....note that i AM a teen (16 to be exact) soo please IM or email me so i can try and help you out.....ALSO im reading what some of you people have put and it doesnt sound good....Tell her that you love her everyday, stay close to her (emotionally not physiclly) the pain from not having your bio mother n father can be unbareable at times ( my mom disowns me and my dad was never around)...also if things dont go as you planned dont be sad because im sure that deep down inside she loves the things you have done for her. and by the by i was thinking about "not getting her anything" yes that might work but it could also have reverse effects such as her feeling like she is not loved which is something you DONT want
2006-09-12 02:16:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋