my best friend in the whole world called this morning, her mom died. she is 21, now i now that is old enough to get death and understand it, but that was her mother, she is just devastated, i feel horrible and i just don't know what i should do for her. i feel helpless and i am at a loss for words. has anyone been in this situation or have any advice on what i should do? i could really use the help.i don't want to say the wrong thing. i can't image how i would feel if my mom died. thanks so much for your help.
2006-09-12 00:21:48 · 11 answers · asked by puppy love 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
The best thing you can do for her right now is to just be there for her. Listen when she wants to talk, comfort her when she needs to cry & just be there for her. I lost my Dad a couple of yrs ago & it was the worst experience of my life, I know he is in heaven but I miss him being here. Sometimes you need a friend to be there for you for moral support. Be careful not to say things like "it will be ok, or don't cry " Let her get her feelings & emotions out.
2006-09-12 00:31:32 · answer #1 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this point, everything you say can be wrong in her perspective since she is in such a distraught and sensitive state. All you can do is to be there for her, help her with whatever arrangements she needs to make for instance and keep your words short. Don't ask her to go to the movies or mall with you for a while. She may feel like you think her mom's death is not a big deal and she needs to move her. This would make her hostile and on the defense. She needs time to mourn and grieve but there comes a period where she will need to move on. In any case, be there for her, make sure she is eating and taking care of herself. Don't smother her by being with her often or often reminding her that you're there if she needs you, she may feel a lot of pressure and feel smothered. Or she may not. You are her friend and you know her better than we do, so it's your call. Good Luck!
2006-09-12 07:32:12 · answer #2 · answered by Emi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a tragedy...i can't imagine how your friend feels...losing a mother is very devastating...maybe you can help by offering her condolences on your part...be there for her...don't stop her from crying...crying will help to heal the pain...tell her how you are affected by her mother's death...if you r sincere, she will know it from your eyes.. at the same time, try not to talk too much about how you feel... this will make her even more sad...just give her ocassional hugs and offer her tissues while she is weeping...maybe you can invite her to stay over at your house after the funeral..in that way, she will feel that someone truly cares for her and she might be able to forget the horrible incident for a while...
2006-09-12 07:29:39 · answer #3 · answered by cuteangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in this situation. My Mom died unexpectedly when I was 20 and I had a baby with very severe birth defects just 12 days before. Because my friend did not know what to do she did nothing. What I wanted and needed was for her just to be there. I didn't need any fancy words and I sure didn't need anyone telling me to "get over it". Just go and be with her. You were together for the good times and you should be there for the bad too.
2006-09-12 07:26:46 · answer #4 · answered by Sandra W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be their for her give her a hug, i lost my mother and cried for a week and i am 46, but a few months down the line i was happier, she is still young though and needs her friends with her. Listen to her problems and that because her mother is not their to do so. You are a good caring friend.
2006-09-12 07:35:18 · answer #5 · answered by guysmithdenise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be the shoulder she can cry on. That is really all you can do for her. Help her with funal plans if she needs you to, but other wise there nothing you can really say to make it better. She will heal, it just going to take a long time. No matter how long always be there if she need you.
2006-09-12 07:27:36 · answer #6 · answered by Sekkennight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes a hug says more than a thousand words,
There are not words that may comfort someone whom has lost a loved one. When my mother passed away, it was more heartfelt to me a strong hug, allowing me to think that my pain was being understood, and that i was not alone, nor the only one who was affected by her departure.
2006-09-12 07:32:34 · answer #7 · answered by just2me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you neeed to be there for her no matter what time of day or night daughter's fill a great loss when they lose ther mothers a friend is what you need to be let her do all the talking
2006-09-12 07:25:37 · answer #8 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her. You don't have to say anything in particular or do anything in particular, just be there for here. And trust me your eyes will tell a lot more than words would ever say...
2006-09-12 07:50:22 · answer #9 · answered by Kicky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to be their for her comfort her , go and see her if she needs, hold her, cry with her just be there for her she ur best friend.
2006-09-12 07:25:28 · answer #10 · answered by shy pie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋