have known my best friend (girl) for 2 years now. I am a guy. We used to be so close, and did absolutely everything together. Now she has a new boyfriend, who she told me about even before they got together. She does everything with him now, and hardly ever texts and calls me. I always intiate conversation.
She still says we are best mates but things will be different, but she said I don't like you any less than I did. But when we meet up, she does not really want to be there.
I am in two minds with this relationship - either to leave her to it, and let her come and find me when she is ready, or just to stay with her and feel a lot of pain inside. I try to tell her how I feel but she gets angry and so does her boyfriend. I am also jealous and feel very lost.
She is changing. I don't know what to do anymore.
I feel I do everything for her, even got her gifts for her birthday and when I go on holiday. She says she will do that but never does.
Any advice before its too late?
2006-09-12 00:08:11 · 13 answers · asked by Michael 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
u need to move on. she's lost cause. she has jump into his boat & you have 1 leg on your boat & another leg on his boat. they can't paddle properly & neither can u. there's a water fall looming beyond.& the 3 of u going over if u continue to paddle this way. u got to let go, back to your boat, paddle upstream, there's always another girl waiting at the jetty for u. it happen to me twice & i got hurted in the end. my wife came along when i was finally content paddling by myself.
hope this is helpful, peace,man 1 thumb up for the question.
2006-09-12 00:25:48 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation. And you are right, it is so painful. I have felt lonely, angry, sad, and tried to be understanding. It seems boyfriends and girlfriends are more important than friends. I never thought that he would be like that but he is. Finally I am just accepting the situation and I am trying to make new friends and spend more time with old friends that I haven't been so close to. I know that nothing will ever be the same between. It is a loss (at least for me, I just feel dumped) but I do believe that as time goes by I will feel better and get used to doing things with other people.
2006-09-12 07:31:41 · answer #2 · answered by Sandra W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk on my son!
She is totally wrapped up in this new thrill in her life, so it is time for you to get yourself a new life as well.
Maybe you care for her more than you ever realized and maybe she is the one for you. If that is the case then this boyfriend will disappear from the picture in good order in the next couple of months and she will either swallow her pride and come back or you will have to keep an eye open for where the winds of change are taking her.
In the mean time enlarge your social life and maybe you will find that there is someone special out there who makes your heart flutter like a hummingbird's wing when she speaks your name.
Don't wait. Wrap you dignity round you like a cape. Then go and explore life's possibilities.
Good luck and have fun!
2006-09-12 07:24:49 · answer #3 · answered by Christine H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you want a romantic relationship and she does not. If you are really her friend, step back and stop trying to push things. A person can't force being in love with someone romantically.
Another option, talk to her about it.
Bottom line, however, is you want her as a girlfriend and she does not want you as a boyfriend (which is obvious since she has a boyfriend now) you are going to keep experiencing pain. Get yourself a girlfriend.
2006-09-12 07:15:49 · answer #4 · answered by Jack P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard when things in life change and friends drift apart but remember you are her best friend and they are forever !! She may be showing the new guy the attention now but that is because the relationship is not secure she knows you are her friend and always will be ...she is secure with your friendship.So she isn't trying so hard to be good right now. Give her time and space and she will be back she will need some one to talk to when things go wrong and she needs a shoulder to lean on. The biggest test is for you, can you handle her new relationship and will you always be there for her in friendship or are you going to bail on her because you are feeling left out and depressed?I know I turned the tables on your question but that is just so you can see the honesty in my answer and my questions to you.I want to make you think about what the relationship means to you and how you are reacting to her new life. Don't bail on her she will always need you time changes every one eventually and our lives change but best friends always remain~
~Good luck~
~~Love & Light to you ~~
2006-09-12 07:37:31 · answer #5 · answered by vtlovie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that you like this girl more than just a friend.
And if that is true then you need to let her know how you feel. Maybe she feels the same way but you never acted on it so she found her someone who does. And if you find out that she doesn't have the same feelings for you then you need to stay away from her. Maybe it's causing problems between her and her man. Sorry about your problem.
2006-09-12 07:31:38 · answer #6 · answered by laura_jean216 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to let go of a great friend, YOU must let her be, she has changed because she's found a partner. she does think of you but if you push too hard you will lose a good friend. I'm sure you have other friends? if not go find some. they may never be as good a friend as her but at least you will be occupied with others, so that you wont worry too much about when your gonna see her again. she loves you dearly, she will always be there when you need her. be happy for her, support her, she will still need you at times.
2006-09-12 07:18:58 · answer #7 · answered by hunny jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people have to move on in life,she is trying to get on with her life and it sounds like you love this girl,and expect her to be there for you.But things happen and things change,move on and wish her the best in life. Time to find a new friend .
2006-09-12 07:14:56 · answer #8 · answered by shepardman1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
back off and treat her as a friend not your girlfriend. she and this person probably won't be together forever and you and her will always have a friendship if that's what you have.if you continue to act like she is more than a friend you will lose her and cause her problems.back off and let her have her time with her man.
2006-09-12 07:14:16 · answer #9 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just start frienship wit some other gal she dislikes
may b she feels jealous n come 2 u
then she wil realize the value of friendship
2006-09-12 08:20:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋