I'm a british girl who has been going out with a Bangladeshi man for 3 years...in the summer he went back to bangladesh to visit his family on his return he started getting text messaeges from a woman in bangladesh. at first she was claiming to be his wife then saying when he wants to find the right woman make it someone who won't break his heart...he has already said he wants to marry me but in a 2 years - 18 months time when hes a bit more settled money wise..should i stick around to see what happens or get out now?...and please no rubbish about the different countrys or faith etc...i know all of that but at the end of the day 3 years is a long time!
2006-09-09 23:22:41 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My partner is Kasmiri nd we have been together for the last 9 years. I got pregnant quickly and we have a son who is 8 years old.
After the birth of our son he asked me to marry him yet i'm still waiting.
He told me that we can't afford to marry and that we should wait and save up for a house. I have not got a house yet either.
Our situations seem similar but not the same as I have a child involved who loves his dad very much. I love my partner but am sick of being fobbed off. I wish I had broken up before now as I feel that i am too strongly connected to finish things now.
The longer you put things off the harder it will be.
2006-09-09 23:40:00 · answer #1 · answered by Leah 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a toughie, but if i was with a girl for any lenght of time, then she went off on hols or whatever, and shortly afterwards starts recieving texts, I would get out.
IF he is cheating, dont stay with him. 3 years is a long time, imagine if it was 30 and you found out he was playing the field. 3 years is not so long after all.
First though, as him the same question you posted here. Talk and talk to him - find out what he really wants deep down, ask about his time away, and tell him how you feel. You may be able to talk it through.
Good luck whatever you decide.
2006-09-09 23:28:10 · answer #2 · answered by sambucaman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget about religion or race,he is a man and that's how you should think about it.
How much could/do you trust him,after all said and done,i know if it happened to me,my partner would be asking serious questions and i would either be squirming,or have nothing to hide and tell her all about it with out worrying.
You have been with him for 3 years,and should know something about him by now,and how he reacts to your questions.
As for him waiting another 2 years,are you willing to wait to see if he commits or changes his mind,when you will be looking forward so much to the end of the 2 years waiting for such wonderful things to happen.
If he had money and settled,would he actually want to be with you?
What happens in 2 years when you both are still lacking the money that he mentioned?
2006-09-09 23:38:45 · answer #3 · answered by asmoothrider 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
3 years is substantial time, especially to know where the two of you are headed...and im sure you feel very attached to him...but it seems like you have trust issues. This can work out if you feel like the both of you are honest to each other. Talk to him thoroughly about what happened when he went home, tell him how much this relationship means to you. Im sure you will be able to tell how sincere he is being...but regardless, if you cant bring yourself to trust him when he does explain and give him the benefit of the doubt then maybe you should reconsider the whole thing. Three years is a while, but getting married to him and not trusting him for the rest of your life involves a much longer period of time, you need to evaluate what you need and can deal with. Fear of betrayal can be very destructive for your relationship...
Also, if its just that you dont know about the future...trust him...according to what you said, i think he wants to have some kind of stable financial basis before getting married.
Honesty will save this for you, and trust...Best Wishes!
2006-09-09 23:40:32 · answer #4 · answered by Patience 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 years is a long time, but trust pays a big part in things, did you stop to think he may have got married when he went back, cause that's what a lot of them do, a couple of my friends did it that way, how long was he there for? apparently the girls there cue up in order to gain a British passport and there is a financial gain for some as well, ,,,, tread carefully it's a whole different world over there you have to experience to believe.
2006-09-09 23:31:08 · answer #5 · answered by P-H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im telling you this as a bangladeshi person, interracial marriages are very hard to get parents and family's blessings. you need to talk to him about this and see what he has to say. if his family is not open to you now, they will most likely never come around. i really hope everything turns out the best for you. if he thinks his family will be okay then stick around for it. otherwise they may make him or convince him to leave you in the end.
2006-09-10 16:48:40 · answer #6 · answered by iamtired 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come straight out with it...all. How you're feeling. He needs to know this.
And you need the answers. If he knows you're having doubts because of this situation with this other woman (and lets face it, she may just be a nutter) It may show him that he needs to make some stark choices...
One the down side, if he chooses her...then he was never worth it anyway, and the sooner you know that, no matter how painful, the better.
2006-09-10 00:05:16 · answer #7 · answered by Bodieann 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What matters right now if whether u think this relationship has a futer or not. waiting for 3 or n number of years wont matter to me if i had assurance that there was a futer and that both me and my partner can lead a happy life together.
So, think bout it... u know your guy better than anybody else aswering you... so you deciede whether you can trust him otr not...
my only advice is that dont keep any doubts about him if you deiede to give it a try. but if it's not possible then leave it. coz then it will not be worth it.
2006-09-09 23:32:35 · answer #8 · answered by urfriendfrlife 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
stick around girl see what happens he wouldnt of come back if he had a wife would he now!! be abit more trusting after 3 years u should know him better than that right?
2006-09-09 23:46:09 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think everybody as an inner spirit...that inner instinct that rationality always try to kill...but inside your heart there is always a little room for it.
I don't know all the details of your relation, and I don't need to.
You are the one who knows. And your inner instinct is the one who knows better...
Trust your feelings, trust your own perceptions when he talks to you. Do you feel is he telling the truth?
You're the only one who can answer...
2006-09-10 00:53:28 · answer #10 · answered by xxx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋