i am a 21year old male. i feel i have a "socialbility problem". i was with my good friend just now. he had invited his schoolmates to his house, (we are of different schools). and when his friends arrived, i just felt kinda uncomfortable, shy u can say. i gave an excuse and left his house. i had wanted to be more socialble, mix around with his friends. but i find it hard when i am a "lone ranger" compared to his group of ten friends. i cant open myself up. how should i overcome this?
2006-09-09 21:09:56 · 16 answers · asked by chua19485 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
its like i cant even bring myself to talk to them. at most i say "hi" and thats it. i wish i could like talk to them, get to know them, interaction, get our my nervousness..
2006-09-09 21:14:48 · update #1
Maybe you haven't met the right people yet. Maybe they aren't your type of "potential friends".
Are you afraid of what they might think about you if you let them to get to know you a little better? You don't have to let anyone know you. When you will met the right people, you will open up. Don't panic, it's not a bad thing.
Try to relax and figure out why you have such a hard time approaching them.
It sounds like you want to talk more and laugh more and have fun with your friend's friends. If so, than sooner or later, you will. Let your friend know about this, maybe he/she can make things easier for you.
Go for it and don't be afraid to talk to them! What is the worse thing that could happen if you do? Nothing bad, i can tell you.
It's ok to feel somewhat not in the middle of the action since they aren't your friends.
You don't have a problem if that is what you think. The right people for you will manage to open you up. You won't even see it, but you will feel it.
Good luck and relax!
2006-09-09 21:37:31 · answer #1 · answered by Dr_D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don’t know that you really have anything to worry about as such.
It is understandable that you would ‘feel uncomfortable’ being surrounded by strangers.
You were the odd man out !!!
Did your friend try to make you feel comfortable by introducing you to the others?…
Or were you just left to yourself ???
Don’t let it worry you…
It isn’t easy to talk to someone whom you know nothing about.
You say “Hi”… That’s fine.
Communication is a two-way thing…
You make the initial step of saying “Hi”…
For the communication to grow, it needs someone else to reciprocate.
If all you get back is “Hi”… there isn’t much you can do about it !!!
As I said, I don’t really think you need to be concerned.
If it does worry you, perhaps you can try to boost your self-confidence.
How ‘good’ we feel about ourselves is often reflected in the image we portray to others.
I guess what it basically comes down to is that you aren’t a very ‘outgoing’ sort of person….
That’s fine. Nothing says you have to be !!!
2006-09-10 04:15:46 · answer #2 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to get over being a loner is to force yourself to accociate with large groups of people. I myself was a loner, started hanging around large crowds and got used to it, but eventually reverted back to being a loner since I really enjoy a lot more.
2006-09-10 04:15:05 · answer #3 · answered by zooba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take these opportunities to hear things they have to say, stories they have to share, you may know someone they know, you may be able to share stories in correlation to things they talk about. Don't run, next time, edge yourself in on a level you are comfortable with. They could in turn be people you really get along with and becomes great friends with.
2006-09-10 04:13:46 · answer #4 · answered by PisceKween 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, dun worry about it.
When people meet you, all they want to talk about is themselvs anyway. Why dun you just ask open ended questions and listen to them to understand more.
If a group of 10 overwhelm you.. talk to one or two of them everytime you see them.
For more reference, please read the book How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
Good luck!
2006-09-10 12:20:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have some self confidence and hope you're not having an inferioirty complex?
have eye contact and just bend witht he conversation. dont be shy to reveal yourself as thats who you're.
read up and mix around more for some update of the latest topics around.
have to work fast as it will stay and haunt you forever . . . seems you're single too? gf problems will arise too?
2006-09-10 20:08:49 · answer #6 · answered by superyoyogirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
21 yr old and shy come on man
looks like you ll soon need a date doctor
be confident of yourself dude
you are nt the worst in the world you know
try talkin in front of the mirror(as if that d help)
you are the coolest person if you dont care to be like other ppl
just be yourself
2006-09-10 04:19:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chillax Buddy!
2006-09-10 04:27:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the next time, dont walk away.Be with them and stay cool.Let them do the talking while you listen.Have a confident in yourself.You can do it.
2006-09-10 22:05:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry about his other friends, look for common ground. The biggest thing you have in common is you know the saame person. build on that tell stories on him listen to their storuies about him
2006-09-10 04:13:47 · answer #10 · answered by Ken T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋