why do you think he does so? he is married and should be committed! he loves me :(
2006-09-09 20:52:23 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Some men like porn, it's just a fact of life. It doesn't take anything away from your marriage, but if it bothers you so much, just tell him you don't approve of it.
2006-09-09 20:53:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He does so because he's a guy, and guy's tend to have wandering eyes. That doesn't automatically mean that he's really into anyone else, and it doesn't automatically mean that's he's going to cheat on you, or anything else. It just means that he's probably bored from time to time and mindlessly checks out the sites for some purile entertainment. Looking at porn shouldn't automatically call into question his commitment.
That being said, however, if you don't like it, then I would advise just talking to him. You *are* married, after all. As long as you're tactful and respectful of his own wishes, I would imagine you guys could work something out to both your satisfaction.
Edit: I don't personally get into the porn scene myself, but I can imagine why other guys do, and the argument I've always heard (and just read on here) that says that if a guy was happy with his woman, he wouldn't *need* to look at porn.....that's never held water with me. For one thing, most guys don't *need* to check it out (some do, granted, but they're the minority). And for another, that argument is like saying, if I was happy with your cooking, I would never go out to eat again. Or, more apt, say, if the female half of a couple is a painter and the guy enjoys her paintings, then he would never need to go to an art museum again. That's kind of a dumb analogy, but you get the idea.
2006-09-09 20:57:37 · answer #2 · answered by salihe66 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be upset with him personally. Men looking at a porn site of harmless fun. Men are visual and very sexual beings. Would it make you feel better to know that he is engaging in an adulterous affair behind your back or possible that he is going to strip clubs and engaging in his fantasies up close? Pick your evils. Just because he is looking doesn't mean he is not committed to you or loves or desires you any less. It just means that he may need the occasional look to see if he is really missing anything and may even help him appreciate what he has with you just that much more. Talk to him without screaming at him and see what he says. Marriage is best when there is an open line of communication that is honest and trustworthy. Best of luck to you!
2006-09-09 21:01:05 · answer #3 · answered by PisceKween 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not defending him, but some men actually think they can seperate their porn fantasy world and their real world. The reality is that the porn does affect their real life more than they know it.
In his mind he can still love you and be comitted to you and have his porn too. The trouble is that the more time he spends with it, the less he spends with you.
I have heard two ways of dealing with this.
#1 help him find another hobby and both of you commit to no extramarital stimulas. And make it a vow.,
#2 Agree to disagree. Tell him you don't want his little dirty hobby to mess up the family or especially your relationship with each other and if ends up the he spends more time with it than you then it is time to make another agreement.
2006-09-09 21:02:00 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is your own security issue. I've never understood why women don't like there husbands looking at porn. I am a woman and married. I think it shows an animalistic trait in men that they sometimes are afraid to show there wives. Maybe they are embarassed or scared to tell you certain fantasies they have. And the ones that openly do it want there wives to look with them. If you join in it will help you connect with him and maybe find something that turns him on that you didn't know before.
2006-09-09 20:59:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may be addicted...your man has issues now...do not take it personally he will never feel your pain...Dr. Phill says porn is adultery...if you need to leave him you have grounds for divorce.
If you think you can leave some literature around for him to find all by himself that forsakes porn and addresses it as adultery...and he reads it and still pursues the porn...then you will have to confront him and tell him it is either the porn or you...Do not leave the house! Just quietly file for divorce...stay in the house again I say stay....let the courts decide who gets what...sorry honey...if he does not love you enough to toss the porn then he's not worth your affection!
2006-09-09 21:16:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He hid it from you because you would get all uptight... like you are now that you know. Feel thankful he's not out with other women, it's just porn, it's not a big deal. Honestly..it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. My husband & I watch it together-it's great! Give it a try, tell him you want to watch it with him...have a glass of wine, relax and go with it, you may enjoy it. Women who tell their men "no porn" are sitting alone while their man is.... umm..".working late". Men like porn & if you won't them watch it, they'll sneak or lie or whatever, trust me.
2006-09-09 21:55:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK I am pretty much going against what every body else is saying. When you are married and u look at porn or another woman and fantasize about her you are cheating. The simple reason is when you look at another woman that way in your heart you may as well have done the deed. You are thinking it' looking at it' wondering what it would be like with her. What matters is whats in the heart when you are looking at it.
2006-09-09 21:15:49 · answer #8 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he looks at porn sites doesn't mean he isn't committed to you. So he looks at something pleasing. Who is it he has sex with, you or the girl on the porn site? If it bother's you so much tell him you need to talk about it and the BOTH of you sit down and talk, don't yell, don't scream, don't nag, don't CONFRONT, and above all LISTEN to what he has to say as well as you telling him.
2006-09-09 20:56:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that it is wrong. It's supposed to be one man for one woman and one woman for one man. Not one woman for one man and also letting him fantasize about about whores at the same time. Where is the commitment to that. Porn is an ugly thing and ruins lives, marriages, families and is a very selfish act to indulge in it.
2006-09-09 21:06:06 · answer #10 · answered by joe man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure he loves you and is committed to your marriage. Some men just want to check it out. Maybe he wants to spice up your love life and he thinks he can get a few ideas from it. Maybe he thinks his not satisfying you. Just ask him what's going on with the web site his looking at and that it makes you feel threaten. Just don't get blown up about it because then his just going to denied being on it and you'll never find out what's going on. Get him to tell you , without fighting about it.
2006-09-09 21:04:52 · answer #11 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋