I am the widowed mom of a wonderful little boy....
I have dealt with serious hardships, and I thought I knew exactly where i stood...
Tonight, while out with friends, my son's Dad's(my husband died five years ago)cousin approached me to let me know how serious he felt about me....
i guess maybe I've known he has felt for me befoe now, but I just denied it.
He claims to have loved me for years, and finally wanted to have it out in the open....he flat out said, "look, this may be hard to hear, but I love you....it isn't going to change"
I care for him alot too. He was always our best friend, and I care for him even more deeply because of the loss we have both shared...but I am so shaken up.
I do love him, but not in the way he wants... I guess I could see how he thinks we could be compatable, but there would be serious family issues with this, even though we aren't related...
this family has had enough hurt...
what can I say that won't hurt him? He's like a best friend?
2006-09-09 20:50:57 · 17 answers · asked by smarty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stay in touch with your intuition, sis.
You have drawn the line, and, as the stable on in this "relationship", you must not cross it.
What do you tell him? If you think he's mature enough to handle the truth, it's always a good thing to be honest. You would only hurt him if you gave him any "hope" -- so just tell him, "Look, you're family. And you will always be important to me as a cousin.
" I just don't have the same feelings for you. It's gotta be mutual, don't you think?"
2006-09-09 20:55:58 · answer #1 · answered by Sage 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered it best when you said "I do love him, but not in the way he wants... I guess I could see how he thinks we could be compatable, but there would be serious family issues with this, even though we aren't related...
this family has had enough hurt...
what can I say that won't hurt him? He's like a best friend?" Tell him like that. If he really loves you he will understand and let go.
2006-09-10 03:55:23 · answer #2 · answered by charity2882 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems that you like the guy, but the prob is the family of the husband. I know how you r feeling they would feel betrayed, by you and the best friend. But you cannot stop living your life,just because somebody is not understanding enough.If your husbands family and your family truely love you they would support you. But before anything else , you have to be sure what you want. You seem to be wanting a 'yes' and 'no' at the same time.
2006-09-10 04:01:40 · answer #3 · answered by illeteratii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as if your not quite ready to move on so just tell him. Let him know how much his friendship has meant to you , But your not ready to start anything with anyone. If down the road you realize your feelings are strong for him and you want a relationship with him then the heck with the family they should be happy you found someone they already know and know that he will always be good to you and your son.
2006-09-10 04:12:57 · answer #4 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start up the Banjo Music...just kidding.
This is more common that most people would like to admit. My advice is to be frank, and remind your cousin that you are not romantically interested in him. Try to not sleep in the same room together, or hang out as hard as it may be. After time passes, you'll be disgusted by the thought of this and it will no longer plague your thoughts.
Think Cold Showers.
2006-09-10 03:53:18 · answer #5 · answered by jprofitt303 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell him that as a friend you love him and appreciate him being there for you and your family. Sometimes grief can make us say things we really don't mean but it feels right at the time. And I would let him know that you are completely against the idea if you don't share his feelings.
2006-09-10 04:02:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi
i am deeply touched by your life, i understand what you are going thru, it must be difficult for you, but i would advise you to look forward in life, if this person truly loves you, and is ready to accept you and your child, go ahead and hold his hand, i know you must be feeling strange and difficult to accept anything of this kind, but you are lucky that god has offered you an opportunity to live life again, the only thing i want you to check the level of commitment of this guy and that he doesn't intend to take advantage of your vulnerability by showing a soft corner, if you are sure embrace life, don't worry about the world,society,relatives coz they are more worried about society norms, prestige, your happiness will be the last they would be think of..... best of luck in life
2006-09-10 04:57:58 · answer #7 · answered by honestanswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that his feelings for you are, indeed, flattering and wonderful. But, you honestly don't feel the same way about him. You care about him so much and you never want to hurt him, but the best way to not hurt him is to not let him harbor false hopes.
2006-09-10 03:53:39 · answer #8 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth you love him also but not like he wishes and add that your loss for your husband has not ended and you want to be friends...
2006-09-10 03:53:08 · answer #9 · answered by lol_des 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with him. Let him know that you care about him, but not like he wants you to. And let him know that you don't think it would be a good idea to takes things further.
2006-09-10 03:53:19 · answer #10 · answered by teeniey37 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋