AFTER DIVORCE How long did it take to make the pain go away?

Question

and what did you do to make it go away, and did you have a child

Super Rach i might just take u up on that email offer

Answer 1

It took me about 9 years to get over it, and THEN I got my divorce. I had 2 children the first time, and added one the second. I have been divorced 5 times, and each and every time I got over it Before I got the divorce.
Now I have been in a relationship for 10 years, and it is very happy. Very peaceful. No fights, no verbal or physical abuse, and if anything happens to split us up, I believe I have learned from each and every one, and I could handle it without having to find someone else. I am not especially proud of the marriages, because they were all for the wrong reasons. And if I could do over, I wouldn't, because I believe I had to go thru all of them to Be Here Now.

Answer 2

First of all if you have a best friend or parent to help get you through, I would suggest that be the first thing. When I got divorced the first time, my mother was my stepping stone and to tell you the truth, I don't know what I would've done without her. Second of all, don't let hate make you bitter. Time heals all wounds and even if it doesn't seem like it now, really, it does. You'll see. I don't have children and I think that was one of the things that made it "a little bit easier". I really felt like I was dying inside and there is a part of me that will never be the same. At first, I felt like I had no reason to exist. Well,I won't keep going on, Just remember that time does heal all wounds. Maybe not completely but you'll see. If you need someone to talk to....visit my 360*.

Answer 3

After a divorce, you go through a grief period similar to that of a death. Sometimes you go through the cycle a few times, some are lucky to get through it once and move on. It has its stages. You move out, you start over, eventually one of you starts dating someone new and sometimes the grief stages start all over again. Best advice is to take it one day at a time. I am 6 months into my seperation and have gone through the cycles 2 or 3 times already and finally feel healthy and healed enough to move onto a new relationship. I have two kids with my ex who was also my HS sweet heart and no doubt it would be easier if we didn't have to still see and contend with each other but we keep contact to a minimum right now because it hurts us both on some level to be near each other. I go to a counselor on a weekly basis just to talk and get my feelings out so I'm not stewing on them or burdening my friends with more details of the split. It helps A LOT! Time truly heals all wounds. Best of luck and God bless you.

Answer 4

divorce isn't ever easy on ANYONE.... divorce with a child hurts the most. I was married for 10 years with a child. My child took it better then I did!! She was so mature at her age (5 yrs. old). And I had to gather my strength from hers. She said " mommy, I guess he didn't want to live here any more." So I had to pick myself up and continue with all of the things that 2 parents do on my own. It hurt for a while, and I am not going to lie, I cried for months. but if you have a child you can embrace them just a little closer and realize that your life can still be just as full with out partner. Then once you realize that your life does not and WILL NOT revolve around your X you can learn how to love your self again because YOU ARE LOVED. UN-conditionally for the rest of your life. You don't need to have his sorry donkey to carry your happiness. once you realize that... Life will feel so much more free, and guess what? You have the chance to choose again, and choose better. I love my life today, much more then I ever did. 20 questions and answering to some one that Wasn't MY daddy feels very good to me!! I was miserable for a long time but Freedom and unconditional love is all worth it!!!

Answer 5

It took me about a year. It was very difficult. It was a hard time for me and my kids (they were 4 and 7 then). It was painful and I WANTED the divorce. (I would think if you did not want to get divorced it could be a lifetime of pain). I am now happily remarried. Sometimes I still am sad when I think about the divorce and what it has done to the children. It's always sad knowing you once loved someone and the relationship died.

Answer 6

it is a highly individual thing for each person. One person might feel better sooner than another. If children are involved I would think that the situation would be harder to cope with due to the fact of parenting the children.I think a divorce support group or some sort of therapy would be beneficial in helping to learn how to cope with the bad feelings.There is no surefire way-except time and going through the grieving process at your own pace-to ease the pain.

Answer 7

I got divorced with a 18 month old and one on the way. It was hard at first, but I let myself grieve and be really sad for a while. Then I decided it was time to move on and make a life with my kids. That was a five years ago now, I'm engaged to a great man and we have a really good life. It does get better, but first let yourself grieve for the loss of the marriage, the loss of what could have/should have/would have been. Email me if you need anything.

Answer 8

It takes as long because it does so you might attain that it relatively is nice on your better half to no longer choose to stay with you as husband and spouse anymore. It does not make you much less of a individual. It does not make the different individual evil. It does no longer mean which you have been rejected. human beings strengthen in different techniques over the years. It takes till you very own the indisputable fact which you're a precious, dazzling individual, and the indisputable fact that the different individual does not love you anymore is their problem, no longer yours. Now get obtainable and locate somebody which you relatively choose to be around.

Answer 9

I guess it depends on the situation, but speaking for myself, I still look back fondly from time to time. It has been 5 years. I have moved on and had other relationships,some short term and one long term. I do believe that what helps is confirmation that you still have value and that you still desireable. It's rough at first I won't lie, but remember to breathe! Breathe for a couple of seconds, it will turn in to minutes--minutes to hours. Keep breathing next thing you know you made it through another day, and soon you will look back fondly, remembering the good times, somehow the bad times seem to slip away. Congrats, you are still alive, stronger than before, and the pain----well it was a thing of the past.

Answer 10

I hope it doesn't take too long. I wasted 15 yrs with some one I loved more than life itself, he did not share these feelings. He made himself a new life with some another woman while still lying & making me believe we were meant to be together forever.
I am still angry & constantly second guessing the divorce. I want to move on but it is hard when all I see are selfish, lying, cheating manipulating men & women who have no value for the sanctity of marriage. I think it will take me awhile to move on after all.