Her mom and I agreed to 50 / 50 , but my daughter is very angry and blames me. I want to do what's best for her in the long run. Thank you for all sincere and serious answers.
2006-09-09 17:56:05 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go ahead and agree to 50/50, but when the time comes to see her, give her a little space. She's feeling hurt and probably also blaming herself to a degree. A counselor or therapist could help you cope with this. If you agree to less than 50/50 she is going to feel abandoned later. Good luck.
2006-09-09 18:20:47 · answer #1 · answered by sherlock 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shes angry because her family is broken up.Maybe she feels its easier to put the blame on you because as her daddy you was suppose to never let her get hurt like this.I think it would be a good idea to continue the 50/50 custody of your daughter.She has to know you love her and she is just as much your baby as she is her moms.She needs to know that just like her mom you need her in your life too.Tell her how you feel.Shes twelve not 2 and she will eventually come round.Let her call her mom whenever she wants and tell her she can call you when she would like.You should also try family counseling that way everyone has a chance to be heard.
2006-09-09 18:39:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Around age 12 or middle school, it is typical that a middle schooler starts pulling away from the parents somewhat. Friends become very important to them. In regards to the situation, work with her but also be there for her in her sports activities or after school clubs. Offer to give her rides to after school events. Basically just be there for her. Just remember divorce is typically hard on some kids.
2006-09-10 02:52:17 · answer #3 · answered by dawncs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
12 years old is a tough age for any kid to be in the middle of a divorce...Ask her what she would want to do but don't let her dictate to you ...Sure she is angry you and her mom are breaking up her family...You need to both spend as much time as possible with her
2006-09-09 18:10:10 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard but don't back off, she is angry and hurt and properly blames her self more than you ,talk to her be honest but not critical of the other parent and let her have some say but dont let her call all the shots .she is a child ,she needs you both.If you back out now because she asks you to ,you will confirm to her that she is not important and it will affect her relationships as she grows up.
2006-09-09 18:05:02 · answer #5 · answered by stephanie n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion 12 years old is old enough to know who they would be more comfortable with.both of you need to sit down with her and ask her to tell you what she would like and why.if she would not be comfortable saying what she feels,then ask her to write it down.many times people can say more if it doesn't have to be said aloud.i do believe that children,at least her age and up,are capable of knowing where they would rather be.she is going to be angry for a long time,and probably hurt even longer.Both you and her mother should put aside what you would like personally and decide what would be best for her in the long run,even if one of you gets your feelings hurt by who she would rather spend most of her time with.if it is practical,let her,after all she isn't the one that decided the marriage was over.
2006-09-10 03:40:28 · answer #6 · answered by wondering wife 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she should not dictate the terms - you are the parent and must make all the decisions, no matter how tough they are. You have the experience and knowledge to know what's in her best interest
2006-09-09 18:05:56 · answer #7 · answered by leos1964 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i think i would listen but i wouldnt do anything i didnt think would be good for her. She will understand in time shes 12 they do eventually get over it.
2006-09-09 18:27:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The courts at 12 will listen to her...But she is young, maybe a little time and she will forgive what she is mad at you about....
2006-09-09 18:27:59 · answer #9 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not the parent, you and the ex are. You and the ex need to determine what's best for you both.
2006-09-09 18:04:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋