Hi,
to make a long story short, I'm black, he's white. I'm catholic, he's jewish. I'm 29, he's 38. I'm a teacher, he's a professor. I come from a large family, he's an only child. I'm simple and bohemian, he's upper middle class yuppie. I lived my life traveling, he spent his whole life in New York. basically, i love him, although sometimes I feel our common ground is very weak. Also, i don't like his friends.
what are the chances we're gonna make it? is love enough of a common ground?
2006-09-09 17:53:02 · 11 answers · asked by ingrid 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The key here is compromise for the sake of your marriage. Differences can be a good thing but u also need a strong common ground but in your case, u need to respect each other's differences and understand that u will not agree with certain things all the time.
Always strive to meet in the middle.
2006-09-09 17:58:49 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Opposites attract...the main thing is that they do complement each other! Being married is a JOB! The only thing easy about marriage is all the free sex you want! The rest is a very rough
ride....the differences need to be discussed for your children's sake...you must make some agreements before hand about the beliefs you have about God and how you will direct your children.
This is the factor that may divide you later if you do not address it now! You may even want to draw up a contract between the two of you and have it notarized and frame it and hang it on your bedroom wall. Differences can destroy if not addressed and agreed upon beforehand. My prayers are with you...at least you have the same God anyway!
2006-09-10 01:02:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either you connect or you don't. I mean, if your differences bother you now, they will probably always bother you. Are you friends? Do you understand each other? Do you communicate well? Do you share the same views on raising children, on division of household responsibilities, on your goals for the future? These are the differences that will most likely ruin a marriage, not whether your black & he's white. Alot of people don't even take the time to learn these things about eachother, they never discussed it until, for instance, the baby is born and the wife wants to go back to work and the husband wants her to stay home and raise the child and both are firm with what they want. Or he's expecting you to starch & iron his shirts and your thinking he can drop them off & pick them up at the dry cleaners on his way to work. You see what I'm saying. Just something to think about, Hope it helps!
2006-09-10 01:56:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is never enough of a common ground. You could have diverse backgrounds and upbringings... it's what you two do with and for each other that will define your relationship. Does he take interest in what you like? Do you with him? Are you meeting eachothers needs socially, ethically, mentally? Do you both respect each other's thoughts on values? These are the commom threads you'll need if you're to survive together... and grow with eachother.
2006-09-10 00:58:37 · answer #4 · answered by VixenMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the opposite situation, I am white and he is black, he likes rap, I like country, he likes this, and I like that, is it causing problems? Yes...why? Because he also ignores me. If you have a loving relationship, I have seen differences be ignored. Which I could if there was more love and attention there.
2006-09-10 09:45:42 · answer #5 · answered by Me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey there ..well ..that is a hard call..and i think it is a question you should think of for a very long time very hard.I'm one of thouse people who think that marriage is for a a life time.. so if you think so too.. you should be 100 5 or at least a 98 % that you can stick up with his friends .. his family reunions and stuff like that..hope it helps..and good luck
2006-09-10 00:58:55 · answer #6 · answered by sam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is NOT enough !!!! You have differences - do the difference compliment and make it balance out and smooth or do the the differences make each other worse?
2006-09-10 02:56:09 · answer #7 · answered by wondering 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and he both make the effort, then you will make it.
It is what goes on inside your house that matters. How you two are together is what will keep the relationship going.
2006-09-10 00:55:36 · answer #8 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are opposites in many ways but I think we balance each other out quite nicely :)
You can make it if you love and accept each other "as is" :)
Good luck to you both!
2006-09-10 00:56:36 · answer #9 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes of course if the love is TRUE LOVE.
2006-09-10 00:55:06 · answer #10 · answered by a j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋