what do you thinks is wrong when your married 18 years, he needs viagara to function. Yes we are in our 40's... He has an orgasim within minutes. short ones... then its over, forget that you exits.????
2006-09-09 17:13:27 · 16 answers · asked by Samantha R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Start without him honey...this is normal! Be sure you understand the male ego dear....build it up...and don't tear it down...enjoy the quickie...for his days are numbered....If you want an orgasm...start without him...never pressure him...get him to touch you more before...it will help you get what you need!
God granted sex to the married people...he did not say it would last forever...enjoy it while you still can...be nice and not critical
do not talk...just focus on helping your partner in life get through this change in his life...it is very difficult for him psychologically right now...and it is evident you can not understand fully but if you love him...you will care enough about him not to pry but instead when the moment comes just enjoy what you can of it weather you are satisfied or not...do though let him know that you need some foreplay...when he initiates sex.
2006-09-09 17:33:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, congratulation to 18 years! The majority of married couples today cannot even last two. But just because its been 18 years doesn't mean that you two have to be miserable, or make yourselves miserable, especially in such private affairs.
The viagra deal has been going on for quite a while now. It has its merits, but its not a complete solution to all male sexual problems.
What I would first inquire into is his physical health. Diabetes, weight gain, and heart problems can cause trouble below the beltline, but are usually controllable. Also as a man ages, the hormone levels are different. Studies say that a woman sexually peaks in her 30s where a man does in his early 20s. Hormone therapy is always available.
While on the physical note, yohimbine root is good for premature ejaculation. You can get it at a health food store. Also do not take viagra if there are existing heart problems. I've seen people die from this.
There are also aspects beyond the physical. He may want something different- not necessarily another person, but something to make a little more exciting. Sex and sex by itself can be quite boring- but the number of variations that can be done to make it an interesting and new exerpeience are endless. It takes a little curiousity, a little creativity, and a sense of fun.
Communication is also important. Communication that is supportive and nonjudgemental, and what you can to together to make it better for both of you. This, coming as from a man, and like most men, we don't like to communicate. We talk, we say something, and the next thing we know we are eating our words. So its important to really have a supportive attitude, especially when these issues can be extra sensitive.
Anyways, I hope this helps.
2006-09-09 17:32:44 · answer #2 · answered by coffee_addict 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is a new thing, a real change- then get him to the doctor quickly. But, if this is a chronic problem getting worse, then your partner should use other ways to give you pleasure. You have every right to expect him to make the effort. He's probably just in a rut. We are stupid that way. Do something weird. Not necessarily sexual, just shake him up. When you have his attention, THEN talk to him. He ain't neeeeeeear old enough to lose interest in sex. Try something crazy. Pose for nude photos. Professionally taken. Then, give them to him. You've got the kids pretty much raised, you've lasted 18 years. Now, it's supposed to be getting easier, and better. WORK.
2006-09-09 18:03:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it isnt wrong...you should see a sex therapist together. There is way more to sex than actual penetration (meaning that he can do more for you without actually having to use his "equipment") Viagara isnt bad due to the fact alot of diseases take a mans ability to get or maintain an errection. Just remember that this may be hard on him as well. (think of the embarrassment)
2006-09-09 17:19:43 · answer #4 · answered by kayro3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he needs to see a doctor about impotency/depression .Perhaps he has way to much stress in his life you need to spice things up a bit,do something to drive him wild.
Whatever the problem is be understanding and supportive to his needs also,so he want label you as a selfish nag.
Best of luck.
2006-09-09 17:25:31 · answer #5 · answered by nighneev 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to see a doctor to find out why he needs Viagra to function in his 40's. And he needs to learn how to make love. Get him some books. He should see to your needs, then his if that's how it has to be.
2006-09-09 17:41:15 · answer #6 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with wanting more. Relationships change and people change. Your a women. You want to feel love, safe , passion...basically you want to feel like a women. Sounds like he might have become comfortable in the relationship and everything is good and he doesn't need to put anything into it.
Try to talk to him and tell him what you want.
2006-09-09 17:24:58 · answer #7 · answered by Blah Blah Blah 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you will need to take the lead ,he is in a sexual rut or is just not aware of your needs,try something different ,experiment ,do what ever it takes to light a fire .then if he refuses to be involves its time to look for a newer model.I think forplay is the best thing for us women.
2006-09-09 18:00:10 · answer #8 · answered by stephanie n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not wrong to want more. If he has problems performing, it's time he learned to give oral either before he starts or after he finishes :)
Good luck.
2006-09-09 17:34:55 · answer #9 · answered by Magina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to meet someone called Bob...battery operated boyfriend.
2006-09-09 17:20:30 · answer #10 · answered by dragonrider707 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋