I'm 24. I'm a single mom. But the father of my baby is still around. We communicate often. He wants me to marry him. I want to know what made you guys decide (this goes out to the married people) to get married. I want serious answers.
2006-09-09 17:09:41 · 24 answers · asked by ~Amor~ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
But I love him. I know that when we will be together, we'll make it through. I'm just so scared to get married. And I want this fear gone. But I don't know how.
2006-09-09 17:38:33 · update #1
First off, don't marry him if the only thing between you is a child. That isn't a reason to get married. If you are happy and able to take care of your child byyourself then do that until the right guy comes along. I got married because it was what we wanted to do. We were happy with each other, loved each other more than anything and wanted to be able to grow old together, start a family together. Granted you don't have to get married to do those things, but it just felt like the good thing to do. We wanted to be with each other forever, however long that may be, and be able to care and enjoy each other.
2006-09-09 17:13:30 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First you need to figure out your feelings for him. Don't just do it out of guilt or for your child.
For me, I got married because I remember having phone conversations to my friends about this guy. I said that I loved his heart, soul, and mind. After a while, I realized that if I let him walk out of my life, I would be devastated. My friend had slowly become my soul mate. I loved being with him - constantly. I enjoyed sharing the small things with him. I basically loved everything about him and felt like a puzzle piece had been connected. This summer we made 10 years and he is still my knight in shining armor!
But, you'll just know it if it's right. If you have to ask the question, it might be a sign that he's not the man for you.
2006-09-10 01:16:08 · answer #2 · answered by hawaiianfamily4 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first time - love, belonging, compatibiity, a caring man, always wanting to be with him, not wanting to live without him. He was my best friend.
He was killed by a drunk driver 3 1/2 years later.
The second time - confused thinking. Wanting my old life back. Bad move. Bad guy. Didn't last long, but I got another child out of it.
The third time - loneliness. Wanting to be needed. Not wanting to raise the kids alone. We were totally incompatible, he was controlling, Had my third baby, then I got out after 10 years. I'm unmarried, but happily. We get along fine now, apart.
More to consider: Do you love him? Do you two get along? Are you mature enough to solve problems by discussing instead of yelling? Can you two accept that you may not agree on everything, and that you are two different people with different needs and views? Do you want him in your life forever?
It's a good sign that you realize how serious marriage is, and that you're putting a lot of thought into this. Good luck in your choice.
2006-09-10 00:18:04 · answer #3 · answered by Bad Kitty! 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
When you think about what real life is about - it comes down to pretty mundane things like paying bills, shopping, taking out the trash, taking care of the kids and pets, cleaning house , doing laundry, etc. If you are lucky enough to find someone who is willing to share that with you and you love them - then marriage is the icing on the cake! Too many people think of marriage in terms of the movies. If that were the case - then why are so few movie stars able to stay married?
2006-09-10 00:23:06 · answer #4 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First time I got married because I thought I was in love and that is what you are meant to do. Then we got divorced.
Now I'm with my current man for almost 9 years and I see no need to get married. It doesn't change anything about our relationship.
2006-09-10 00:12:19 · answer #5 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, it was almost the end of the year and fiance said I need a tax deduction. I think I can claim you. Let's do it. I said, do what? You know, jump over the broom. I said, if that is as romantic as you are going to get...OK! This is a for real answer! We have been married for 10 years.
2006-09-10 00:15:24 · answer #6 · answered by Marie 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Truthfully - I felt it was the right thing to do for our son. Now we are divorced. We remain friends and get along better than we did when we were married, but we and our kids are scarred by the divorce. Should never have gotten married in the first place.
2006-09-10 00:31:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I decided to marry Mr. "M" because he likes my wierdness and accepts me just the way I am. He treats me well, and even though we disagree on a few things, the basics we agree on are important. Same religion, success-minded, similar goals, etc. If you can laugh about things together (good and bad) then you have a better chance.
2006-09-10 00:15:30 · answer #8 · answered by tankgirl190 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
GUILT! Often people marry out of guilt for giving themselves away. Or took advantage of the person. Or because they had children. Look, go to get some counseling...go to the Christian book store and find out what it means to be married...what the
requirements are...it is a JOB to be married! The betrothed belong to God...so once you are married you are working for God!
You are to be the finest example of a married couple, you are to be the finest example of parenting and guiding your child and teaching the child that the order of a family is important. God blesses families and especially committed spouses!
2006-09-10 00:19:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
i'm getting married in may '07. i've decided its right because;
when i am down, he knows how to make me smile again
he knows exactly how to make me comfortable
he is a hard worker
he is honest
we like many of the same things
he is a good, generous person
he tells me i am beautiful & smart & a good person
when i look at him, i think all good things. i believe in him.i know he will always do his best-
2006-09-10 00:15:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋