My hubbies e-mail account was open, I enjoyed reading some mail from mutual friends of ours, I stumbled upon his ex-girlfriends e-mail, he wrote to her about kids, we're thinking of moving back to Ohio from Florida,etc. The last line written was "I had a dream of us in Hawaii", My stomache sank! I felt sick! I thought "wow, just when you think you kmow someone!!" I was not searching or digging for anything, we love and trust one another deeply,so much that I know he would'nt mind my reading because he has nothing to hide. She never did correspond, she must have felt uncomfortable.My question is was that an open invitation or what?? Such thoughts can lead to action. I want some serious answers, I am a Christian woman with a conscience, my hubby said "it was no big deal."Please do not give silly answers, I'm fully aware of the obnoxious world we live in. My hubby helped me write this , we are both curious for the right answer to this scrupulous question. Thank you for your help.
2006-09-09 16:32:37 · 25 answers · asked by smily 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't know that I've got a good answer for you, but I recently found myself in the same situation, and I'm still searching for an answer myself. My boyfriend accidentally left his email account open on my computer, and since I had recently sent him a bunch of emails myself, I was curious which ones he'd gotten to and which he hadn't. While looking at that, I saw what looked to me like one of the jokes he's always forwarding to me from friends or his relatives. Let's just say that what I read was not funny at all.
At first I was mad, but then I realized that as much as I felt my confidence had been betrayed, I'd betrayed his confidence by reading his email. My indiscretion was accidental while his was intentional, but once I'd read the one, I couldn't stop myself by going through all his emails and responces. I told him what I did and appologized for reading his email, but I demanded an answer, too.
In the end, I'm satisfied with his responce and he was pretty cool about it, but I still find myself feeling a little insecure.
In your particular case, I think your husband was being insensitive, but not trying to be hurtful. It's not uncommon for people to have dreams of expartners, and they don't usually mean anything unless he tries to act on them. He probably shouldn't have divulged that to his ex, and if she's moved on, it's probably uncomfortable for her, too. But the fact that he had the dream isn't a big deal. Hope that helps some.
2006-09-09 17:04:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some good answers here but, I have something to say. Whom do you think you're kidding!? Your husband was offering an online flirtation - at first (more later, huh Hubby?) and you have been suspecting something. That's why you were snooping into his email. Bet that's not the only thing you snooped in. Admit it! Christians shouldn't lie! Oh, you people. Hiding behind the guise of being Christians. People like you are the reason I don't go to church. This is not meant to be a mean answer. Just a true one. Try it, you might like it. I guess I'll give you some tired old advice. See a counselor. But tell him or her the truth!
2006-09-09 17:00:43 · answer #2 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to apologize to his X girlfriend at once! And you two
will be fine...We all have stupid dreams...but sharing them could
be not such a good idea...we are not responsible for our dreams.
But we are responsible for our conscious actions. If it were an invitation to her...then that was way out of line. If he meant it about
the two of you...and you misunderstood...then your good to go. But you know...really now, he should let his x girlfriend fade away.
This would be the best thing for the two of you...really! God has
put you two together...and he has bigger plans for your lives...if you would get off the email, or similar things that take up your time. Get outside and spend some quality time together every day! You sound like you really love each other...so take it to the next level...be the greatest couple on the earth being the example
of what a great marriage is and in 30 years from now you will have had many misunderstandings, few arguments, and lots of making up that was done!
2006-09-09 16:53:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is your husband corresponding via email with his ex-gf after 10 years of marriage and how long has it been going on? Would he mind if you corresponded with your ex-bf at this point in time?
If as your husband says, "its not big deal," then he shouldn't have any problem with terminating these little gratuitous chats with some old gf from over 10 years ago. The whole thing is absurd.
To tell an old gf about a dream--------when you've been married for 10 years-------that's ridiculous.
2006-09-09 17:20:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I hae been married for almost 8 years and I have to say i felt sick reading this. I think your husband crossed an invisible line that he unknowling crossed. I wouldnt be to hard on him as all men are intitled to make a few mistakes here in their. I personally beleive that when you are married you have and i quote absoultly no corispondence of any kind with an x girlfriend.or x boyfriend in my opinion. Rember the reasons why shes an x. And i also think you should stay as far away from x as you can get. a dream is just a dream but he never should of wrote to her. That is a big big nono. stay away from xes and to your husband i say you better be kissing your wifes feet, You ow her an apology,and a candle light diner compleat with flowers.
2006-09-09 16:53:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/Pl0eK
They might realize they need you and come crawling back!
If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.
2015-02-02 11:56:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THAT was inappropriate. He didn't have to mention "that part" and could have easily left out that detail. Yes, u have a right to be upset. He is a married man. And whether that was an invite to her or not is not the issue. The issue is why is he still corresponding with her? Did u know about this beforehand? I suggest u discuss this issue with him. There really is no good reason why he should be communicating with her...she's his ex and if he is going to abuse your trust, u need to put your foot down and let him know that his behavior is inappropriate and needs to cease.
At least be assured that his ex did not respond.
2006-09-09 16:58:46 · answer #7 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He said he had a dream..not.."I had a dream about you and it made me realize I miss and still love you..." You said you and your husband "love and trust each other" So trust that your husband loves you (and only you) and trust if he says,,it was no big deal..it was/is truly no big deal. So dont make a big deal out of it. I am sure if your husband wanted to be deceiful, he would not have left the email in an easily accessible location knowing you read his email. If this is the only "problem" you are having with your husband, and read some of the questions other people are asking about their marriage--and count your blessings.
2006-09-09 16:55:08 · answer #8 · answered by philly_q_t_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he should be sharing that information with his ex-gf when he's been married for 10 years. It disrespects you completely as his wife. Perhaps he didn't mean a thing by it, but,honey, it looks bad and I'm sure it hurt your feelings. The right answer: Cut out the undermining flirting online in your correspondence...and why in the world are you writing to an ex anyway? What does she care about you? NOTHING ! You're just asking for trouble. Now, go take your wife to dinner and buy her a nice diamond...godloveya.
2006-09-09 16:44:41 · answer #9 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Linda, If you and your hubby really love and trust each other than there is not an issue. Please ask hubby why he is still in touch with his ex. Remember this, you cant punish a person for their dreams. Hubby says "it was no big deal" maybe it was just a dream, or fantasy. From were I'm sitting actions speak louder than words, so if is just a dream, it was just a dream.
2006-09-09 16:45:30 · answer #10 · answered by MAD MEL 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋