2006-09-09 16:22:51 · 8 answers · asked by Amanda D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Been there, done that. You have to move on. You can't make someone love you that doesn't, and there are just too many good people out there for you to stay hung up on someone that doesn't want you.
Good book - "He's just not that Into You." You'll gain a ton of insight.
How to get back on track??? Well..it does take a while to get over the hurt. Often months. In the meantime stay busy. Get out and make new friends, join the gym, find a club that is interesting, anything that keeps you busy helps, and if you get out to where you can meet new friends (and maybe even crush on someone new) is a good thing.
Get a new hairdo, treat yourself to some new clothes, remind yourself that you are attractive and interesting.
DO NOT contact him. You will heal faster if you don't.
If you're up to it, join an online dating service and try dating. Just be sure you're ready for it or it could end up hurting you if you're not up to meeting people that might not be a right match. Do it too soon, and you begin to feel there isn't anyone else out there better, when there most certainly is.
When I go through this I remember to look back, how each time I thought I'd never find someone that loved me that I wanted, and yet each time I've actually upgraded. This time I came close to perfect. We were even engaged, but he's still dealing with significant baggage from his life before me and he's just not ready to be a good husband. I'm okay with that. I still love him (the breakup is fresh) and..quite frankly, we own a business together so we still see each other a lot.
I'm not ready to see him date anyone else (and he has begun dating unfortunately), but I am at least open to meeting someone new and ready to live life without him. I AM at peace that this is for the best, even though it isn't what I really wanted.
Love at what you really want in life, and then find someone who shares that picture. My guy...just doesn't have the same goals. That just means he's the wrong guy for me.
Your ex was the wrong guy for you. The right one is still out there but you won't find him as long as you ar still holding onto the last.
2006-09-09 16:34:16 · answer #1 · answered by Lori A 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh that's a hard one. I've been through it before myself. The only thing I can say is
time
it really does take time. Try to occupy yourself w/ work or school, friends and other things. Your mind will keep wondering back to your ex everytime it has a chance but the more time that goes by the less frequent you'll think of him or her but honestly you might never stop thinking of him or her again but it will get easier when you do. I'm happily married w/ 3 kids and every once in a while my mind still thinks back to my ex but I'm happy and I've moved on - it just takes time so try to fill your time w/ something else important to you. Good Luck - I feel for you
2006-09-09 23:31:33 · answer #2 · answered by Chargers Chick 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was exactly where you are - and I dove into literally everything I could. School, work, my daughter, friends, books, etc. I kept myself as busy as possible to keep myself from grieving for him. I missed that man so much and I felt so heartbroken, I had to keep busy or I'd drive myself crazy. But push come to shove, he came around... On his own, I didn't chase him, he came back because he realized he loved me too. Give him time, find something to do to keep your mind busy. If he comes around, he's the one. If not, his loss. You may think you'll never love like that again, but you never know your potential until you need it. And the next guy will pull it right out of you... Good luck with it.
2006-09-09 23:39:47 · answer #3 · answered by Ashley B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can move on. More than that, you have to. Your ex is exactly that, your ex. Use the relationship as a learning experience and start living again. I know that it sounds tough right now, but it is doable.
2006-09-09 23:30:43 · answer #4 · answered by MAD MEL 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Support group, support group, support group. I attended one for a year and it was so helpful for me to move through all the feelings I had and finally beable to move forward with my life. My community had a Beginning Experience support grp that met in the basement of a local church.( I am not a fan of organized religion and don't attend services other than holidays)
I wrote in a journal and cried..........alot.
Get out and discover just who YOU are. Develop your interests.......baby steps if need be.
2006-09-09 23:31:18 · answer #5 · answered by Janet 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone -- but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
Trying to forget someone you loved is like trying to remember someone you never knew
you never really stop loving someone. you just learn to try to live without them
Life goes on, and so should you, as hard and as sad as it seems. Sooner or later, you`ll be ok.
Good Luck
2006-09-09 23:28:10 · answer #6 · answered by Your best friend 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first you must find out what is the 'wall' that make you stop for loving him, he got another another gf? he got married? or because you felt sorry because you dumped him once and now you felt sorry for him but too embarrass to ask him again? if you care for him and you want him to be with you, you must make the first step. remember you must not left regret in your life.
aaron
2006-09-09 23:33:03 · answer #7 · answered by aeeyo1314 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How is it possible to be in love with him if he is not in love with you? Think of lofe like a kiddie pool and that will help. How can you be in the pool with him if he ain't in the pool?
2006-09-09 23:32:24 · answer #8 · answered by charity2882 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋