Would you stay in a sexless marriage without kids if everything else was good? age 40's?

Question

financial ties? of course; not really unhappy, just not happy. I mean, how could you be. No, the problem won't change. It's been his same problem for years even before marriage, but now life seems too short to not be truly happy. Remember, no kids. It's a caring, roommate kind of love, never has been very passionate or successful {I mean our sex life} Help!

Answer 1

First you must determine why? Why no sex, tired, medical, or just no interest. I loss my wife partially due to not enough sex. I now realize that love making is important to women especially as they get older. You need to determine why there is no sex, is it impotence, there is medication for that. You should not have to endure a sexless marriage. I am hurting from the loss of my wife because of that. Seek professional help so you can be happy, life is too short to have to endure a marriage that you are not at least 75% happy and sex is 50% to say the least. Get help for yourself and your husband too.

Answer 2

If it is sexless after all this time, is it really a marriage to begin with?

You know, the sexual relationship is really just an extension of your overall relationship; the problem is not in the lack of sex, but a much deeper root. So the question you first have to ask is what is in your thinking? If sex became an active part, then would you be thinking about leaving? Or, on the flip side, is it worth staying if you've basically got a roommate and nothing more? That will tell you if you even want to go forward.

If you do wish to make this better, you're going to have to go to your spouse and express your dissatisfaction with your status quo, that you want an active sex life, and are they going to give you that or not? And if not, why? Then leave it with them; if you feel it's truly your partner's issues that are denying you sex, you need to lay it at their feet, and let them know if this is all they are willing to give, then they should have the decency to let you go find a better relationship.

Essentially, if you've never consummated this marriage, you can actually move for an anullment.

Answer 3

To me, it makes no sense to stay in a marriage where one is thinking about a meaningless affair, and needs to pursue his lustful path. Having an 'affair', will not make things better at this point. The children who are 11 and 13 most likely will not go off the edge should the parents separate or divorce. There are are plenty who have come from broken homes, unfortunately, but the love must stay intact for the children. Staying in a relationship for the sake of the children when a parent is thinking about seeking other means of satisfaction is not something which was thought through.

Answer 4

I'm going through the same thing. I've separated, but am getting counselling starting tomorrow. It's hard because I feel like I'm being cheated out of a sexual relationship. I sometimes wish I'd left sooner than this. Im 42 he's 52. We will see. He says things can change, but I don't believe him at this point. I'm sad a lot of the time, because I want a lover.

Answer 5

Wow, this IS a dilemma. You say "everything else" is "good". Does he show non-sexual AFFECTION towards you (i.e., kissing, cuddling, etc.)? Does he seem to get "turned on" by OTHER women, either on TV or movies, or in reality situations? Does he have a physical impairment - or just a psychological "block" telling him he just doesn't WANT it, period? Or maybe, do you think there is a chance he may be leading a gay "double life"? It may seem far-fetched, but I know of MANY men who DO!

There could be any number of causes for your lack of a sex life. Has he tried explaining his disinterest to you?? You DESERVE some answers!

If it were me, I would try to get to the bottom of it. Let him know that you are completely unfulfilled, and you WANT his physical love, but if he is unwilling to make changes.... you just don't know HOW long you can continue under present conditions! And if things DON'T change after that, I'd be keeping my eye out for someone who COULD make me happy. By that time, hubby will have NO ONE ELSE TO BLAME but himself, for driving you away!

I wouldn't be too quick to just move out, and start searching elsewhere, tho, in the meantime. You may not meet someone desirable for a VERY long time; possibly not EVER! And while you wait, you will be missing your husband's COMPANIONSHIP, even though that's ALL it is, and you know as well as I do that that's NOT enough!!! Good luck to you, I know this is a tough decision.

Answer 6

You haven't said if you two have tried counseling. Something must be wrong for the relationship to be good otherwise, but sexless. Is it a physical problem? See a doctor.

Answer 7

One of the most common questions spouses ask when confronting a marriage crisis is this: How can I save my marriage if my partner doesn't want to help find a solution? How do I succeed I am trying to save my marriage on my own? Learn here https://tr.im/70Uf7

It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains 'in love', the other is uncertain. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving his or her marriage' alone.

Answer 8

It is your life. You need to make that choice. I don't think anything can make someone truly happy for a long period of time. Life always has ups and downs, no matter what your situation.

Answer 9

sounds like you have changed, and you need to move in to a relationship where you don't feel the roommate kind of love, like friends with benefits kinda thing. it was working before, and now you are looking for different....a different kind of love, a different kind of success. yes, i would do it.....and i would remember what i had before.

Answer 10

I'm divorcing over this issue.