I have been married for almost 6 years now but I don't believe in divorce. I'm starting to REALLY hate my husband because he is a bum. He doesn't work, unsupportive and irresponsible. I know I could be a great single mom because I'm basically doing it now. I pay all the bills, work, take care of the kids. Should I just bite the bullet and do it? Am I crazy?
2006-09-09 15:17:47 · 32 answers · asked by bmmoore25 1 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
I think you should stop wasting your time and energy on a bum. Life is too short to be miserable, and you are apparently a good wife and mother, it won't be easy but you can do it and I am sure that you will have some happier days. Good luck
2006-09-10 22:49:54 · answer #1 · answered by figaroetco 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Think very carefully before you make a decision as the choice you make will impact your life for years to come. As with other important decisions, there are pros and cons. Sit down, try to put your feelings aside for a moment and make an objective list of the positives and negatives of both leaving/staying. Even small things will impact, like the fact that you have to bundle all the kids into the car just to go up the road to get milk when you're on your own. Also, talk to your husband. He might not be aware that you're at breaking point. Find someone who could mediate your conversations and help you make decisions together - maybe some marriage counselling would help?? If all else fails, then maybe it IS time to do it on your own. It's a hard road, whichever choice you make. I really feel for you and wish you the best of luck.
2006-09-09 15:35:58 · answer #2 · answered by wondering 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The age difference is nothing. When you said older single mom, I thought maybe 35 or something. Keep conversing with her and find out if she is interested in pursuing something. Start out slow because if she is a single mom then she will be cautious and want to make sure the man in her life not only accepts her but her children also. Good luck
2016-03-17 11:06:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your children are little and they need the support of the Daddy, then stay with the marriage until the children get older. It is a sad day when the parents separate. You need to bite the bullet. for a while. I know how the kids miss the Daddy. They would miss you too, if you were gone. Once the separation happens, the chance of being happy is a big question mark. I have seen this many times when Mom and Dad split. The children are hurt by this. You need to sacrifice a little while longer. Don't hate, but Love. You used to Love him, what happened. Talk to him and tell him, that he has changed and you need his ownself back. Good Luck.
2006-09-10 10:05:06 · answer #4 · answered by Norskeyenta 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does he spend time with your children? Have you talked to him about wanting out? Being a single mom is hard. If you think you are busy now, just wait and see when you're single. Yes, it is more work simply because you don't have someone else there even if you want to just run to the store, bank, etc.
2006-09-09 15:57:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I beg you to bite the bullet and become a single mom. It isnt healthy for you or the children to be in an environment where there is hate, tension and bad example. If you tolerate your husband's laziness, unsupportive and irresponsible ways and unwillingness to work, it sets the example for your kids that its ok to live like that because hey there will always be someone else to do all the work and pick up all the pieces. You will be much happier. I was in a similar situation and got out of it and my son and I are MUCH happier people. You aren't crazy...the decision to leave would be the sanest thing you could do! I'll be rooting for you!!
2006-09-09 15:26:08 · answer #6 · answered by Hollie F 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
NO! Don't divorce. However, if you need to separate, do so. A man should not be lazy. For goodness sake, if the woman has to bear each child 10 months, the man can provide, at least!!
A father is a crucial part of a child's upbringing. You do not want a bad example as a father, but you do not want no father. Tell him, "Either start working or leave", but don't divorce. If he starts working, great. If he leaves, he'll have to start working anyway.
Everyone keeps telling you to do what makes you happy, but this decision doesn't just effect you. Think of you children as well.
Take care. ;)
2006-09-10 03:24:57 · answer #7 · answered by woman_of_tomorrow 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
In business there is a point where you , the company, look at subsidiaries, your soon to be Ex, and decide he must go or the company goes down the drain. Suggest you compound your money where he can't get to it and prepare to liquidate his assets. Do give him the benefit of doubt (get marriage counseling with him) Then if no change - exchange him for a dog. visit daveramsey.com to learn more. close all accounts with him on them by certified return letter. liquidate all accounts. Sell anything joint (car etc) loans. Get ready to down size. Be ready to work twice as hard for your freedom. Let him be your stepping stone not anchor. No you are not crazy, unless you stay longer.
2006-09-09 15:35:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My dearest friend is going through that right now. She kicked his *** out and has filed for divorce. I have always been a single mom. Its been hard sometimes but very rewarding. I am a strong woman, thank God. Now, I know that I don't need any man who will make me feel bad.
2006-09-09 20:02:06 · answer #9 · answered by Gorgeoustxwoman2013 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if i were you i will kick your husband to the curve. because for number one he is not helping you. and like the old saying you can do bad all by yourself.i say kick him out you need a man that is going to love you and your kids and help you with in your house hold. why have him there you are bening a mother and a father to your kids. so no it is not crazy for wanted to be a single mom. you have to think whats best for you. and if the marriage is over you need to start fresh. you don't need a husband that can't be the bead winner. i know you have kids and you want them to have there father but its not fair to you because you are tied you not happy. you have to kick him out you need a man that going to step to the plate and be a man. i know 6 years is along time but you don't need dead wait in your life. i say bite the bullet and go for it.
2006-09-09 15:45:56 · answer #10 · answered by DIANE C 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋