Is this enough detail?

Question

Like is it enough to help you visualize what I'm saying or does the story need more? "It was a two story like every other house in the neighborhood though, it seemed, much scarier looking. Every window was cracked and unclean; the light coming from them casting eerie shadows from the dead and lifeless trees onto the grass. The house it self looked rather old. It looked as though no one had lived in it for years, and yet warm light was forcing its way through the dusty windows......"

Answer 1

its creepy yet kool and interesting yet scary i like it i can draw a picture of it and it would be just like your paragraph its so detailed

Answer 2

There is too much detail in the wrong places. Were all of the houses in the neighborhood scary looking? Is there something about a two story house that automatically makes it scary?
Were the windows cracked as if left open slightly or wer they broken? Unclean does not give the correct illusion. Just use the word "dirty" instead.
The light was not coming from the windows. Perhaps it was coming through the windows.
The house itself does not add anything. Just say that the house looked old. Too many words there.
The last two sentences could, with a little modification, show the same picture that you want to exhibit without the rest of the description.

Answer 3

"It was a two-story like every other house in the neighborhood, though it seemed much scarier looking. Every window was cracked and unclean; the light coming from them casting eerie shadows from teh dead and lifeless trees onto the grass. The house itself looked rather old. It looked as though kno one had lived in it for years, and yet warm light was forcing is way through the dusty windows."

Okay, I 'cleaned up' it up a bit, just small everyday typos that happen to all of us. It's a very vivid description, although I would change the order of the sentences around a bit, like this:

"It was a two-story like every other house in the neighborhood, although it looked rather old and scary. It looked as if no one had lived in it for years, and yet warm light was forcing its way through the dusty windows, every one of which was cracked; the light casting eerie shadows from the dead and lifeless tees onto the grass."

Hope that helps!

www.robinkh.com for my work! *grin*

Answer 4

Cleaner version.

It was a two story like every other house in the neighborhood. However, it looked foreboding. Every window was cracked and dusty. Light was forcing its way through the cracks casting eerie shadows of dead and lifeless trees onto the grass. Except for the light, the house looked deserted, as if no one had lived in it for years.......

Answer 5

Yes. It was a pale pinkish light as it fell; this was after all the House of Roses built for the woman that he had dedicated his life to the one that he loved more than life itself. It was called the House of Roses because he filled the walls with rose petals and the fragrance filled the afternoon air as the gentle wafting breeze blew through limbs of the trees making a sort of whispering sound almost as silent as she was in the cold damp soil of the back yard. Who was to know except for myself ?

I'll do almost anything for 2 points.

Answer 6

Its gud enough 4 a person to visualize it. its gud and nice except 4 some grammer which is not correct...it gives and impression of a dark and creepy house. by d way whats it for?

Answer 7

What comes to me in visualization is that the world is worn and old, but god through it all continues to shine his light through the darkness.

Answer 8

and somthing like onto the brown uncut grass other than that every thing is a lot of detail

Answer 9

Questions do not begin with like! Learn English and grammer.
Hiigel

Answer 10

Well so far so good. Is this some kind of trailer to your book or something. I would like to hear more.