(i dont meann literaly "whoever says the funniest tinmg gets 10 points" )
2006-09-09 14:03:14 · 17 answers · asked by bsktballchik 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
We have eggs?
2006-09-09 14:05:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been looking for an exercise video so I could work out at home. Because I'm over 50, I didn't want anything to strenuous. It took a while but yesterday I finally found one that was just right. It's call Buns of Putty.
2006-09-09 14:11:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's a manufacturing unit in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs once you tickle it under the palms. properly, Maria is employed on the Tickle Me Elmo manufacturing unit and he or she comments for her first day at present at 8:00 am. day after today at 8:40 5 am there's a knock on the employees supervisor's door. The Foreman throws open the door and starts to rant with reference to the recent worker. He complains that she is extremely slow and the entire line is backing up, putting the entire manufacturing line at the back of time table. The workers supervisor makes a decision he would desire to make certain this for himself, so the two men march right down to the manufacturing unit floor. whilst they get there the line is so sponsored up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all around the manufacturing unit floor and that they are extremely placing out to pile up. on the top of the line stands Lena surrounded via mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush pink fabric and a extensive bag of small marbles. the two men watch in amazement as she cuts a sprint piece of fabric, wraps it around 2 marbles and starts to scrupulously stitch the little equipment between Elmo's legs. The workers supervisor bursts into laughter. After various minutes of hysterics he pulls himself mutually and methods Lena .. 'i'm sorry,' he says to her, extremely waiting to maintain a as we communicate face, 'yet i think of you misunderstood the learning I gave you the day gone by...' 'Your job is to furnish Elmo 2 try tickles.'
2016-09-30 12:51:03 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and you shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to you to bring a smile on your face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
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http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/Entertainment_and_Arts/Bollywood/
Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps you in making you laugh. Enjoy and have fun..
2006-09-11 00:28:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ain't none of this mess is funny, I thought I could get a laugh in myself, shoot...does anybody have any good stuff? Comedy round here is like school on Saturday-No class. I'll check back later to vote on some FUNNY s***!
2006-09-09 14:16:17 · answer #5 · answered by Rica_Venia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once upon a time there was a little girl who snorted every time she laughed. She HATED it. So she swore to never laugh again. She stayed in her room & ate slept & read books, completly avoiding laughter. So after 3 yrs of this she thought since she hadnt laughed in a long time she could go outside. Her friend asked her if she wanted 2 here a joke that went like this....
This lady that was wearing a tight skirt was waiting at the bus stop to get onto the bus. A bus pulled up and the driver opened the doors. she tried to step up onto the step but her skirt was too tight. So she reached back to unzip and loosen it a little. she tried to step up onto the steps again. But it was still to tight. She reached back and unzipped some more. Tried to step up again and the skirt was still to tight. She tried one more time. She reached back and unzipped some more. And she still couldn,t get up onto the bus. So this man behind her reaches and grabs her by the butt. He gives her a boost onto the bus. She turns around and slaps him and saying "What do you think you are doing." Well the man says "Well lady after you unzipped my pants for the third time I thought we was aquainted."
She didnt laugh... So her friend said Okay lets try this one
A traveling salesman was driving down a farm road when his car suddenly stopped and wouldn't start again. A farmer on a tractor was passing by and stopped to help the salesman fix his car. By the time they were finished, it was almost sundown, so the farmer told the salesman he could spend the night at his home if he didn't mind sharing the bed with his twin daughters. The salesman thought the twins were kids, so he said it was okay. They farmer took the salesman to his home and went into the house.
After a few minutes of talking and cleaning up, the men were called to the dinner table by the farmer's wife. As they sat down, the salesman saw the two most beautiful young ladies he had ever seen. The farmer introduced them as his twin daughters. During the entire meal all the salesman thought about was he was sleeping in the same bed as the girls and he was going to have a good time that night. They all finished their supper and the men went and talked while the women finished cleaning up. The salesman couldn't keep his mind off what was to be a good time. Finally it was time to go to bed and the salesman anxiously got prepared. The twins got into the bed, one on each side of the salesman. Just as the lights were going to be turned off, the farmer came into the bedroom and placed one egg on both sides of the salesman. The farmer said, "This is to make sure you don't do anything with my daughters tonight!! If I come in tomorrow morning and find one or both eggs broken, I'll know you did something and I'll shoot you!! You understand? Well, the salesman looked at the eggs, the farmer, and the shotgun in the farmer's hand and quietly replied that he understood. With that, the farmer told them goodnight and turned off the light.
During the night, the salesman turned over and accidently broke one of the eggs. "What the hell," he thought, "I'm dead anyway," and screwed the first twin. After several minutes of bliss, he rolled off of her and broke the other egg. "Might as well go out smiling," he thought and had his way with the second twin. When he was finished, he noticed that it was almost sunup and the farmer was starting to stir. Thinking quickly, he looked into his sales bag and got out a tube of superglue and glued the eggs back together. The glue dried quick and the salesman jumped back into the bed and had just put both eggs back when the farmer entered.
"I see the eggs are alright, so I guess I won't shoot you. Want some breakfast?"
"What are you making?" the salesman asked.
Holding up the eggs, he said, "Eggs."
"No thanks, I'll eat later, I gotta get going!!!" the salesman quickly said and grabbed his clothes and left.
The farmer went to the stove and broke the first egg over the skillet, but nothing came out. He then broke the second egg and again, nothing came out. Extrememly pissed off, the farmer walked out to the hen house and shouted, "Alright...which one of you roosters is wearing a rubber???"
She smiled but still no laugh so the friend finally tried 1 more....
Their is this couple that is stranded on an island.
Then they are about to see who's turn it is to go
up to the watch tower to see if anybody is close to
the island. Then this new guy gets stranded on the
island so they make him go look out for people. The
couple starts making their bed when the new guy says
"HEY NO SCREWING!!!". The couple shouts out, "WE AREN'T"!
So they get back to making their bed and the guy shouts
it out again. Again the couple says "we aren't". So now
it is the husband's turn to look for people in the watch
tower. His wife and the new guy start having sex in the
bed the couple had made. So the husband looks down and says,
"the new guy was right, from up here it does look like they
are screwing!!!".
Again jus a smile....But hey whats a person that never laughs? Hope I made you laugh once
2006-09-09 14:20:53 · answer #6 · answered by Talk-A-Holic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you laugh, I'll paypal you 10 bucks.
2006-09-09 14:05:56 · answer #7 · answered by D.Shim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sasquatch stole my underpants
2006-09-09 14:07:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a little girl came up to me today at the store and she says "whats your son's name" and i said "jacob" then she asked "does he have a daddy?" i said yes, then she said, "i dont have a daddy, i have two mommies". hmmmm.
2006-09-09 14:05:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
pudding.
it always works =) try saying it during an awkward silence and see what happens
2006-09-09 14:05:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he offered his honor
she honored his offer
and all through the night
he was honor and offer
email me
2006-09-09 14:06:46 · answer #11 · answered by Necat T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋