but know it's not the same I'm not that happy, I haven't make love or have sex for 10 weeks My wife is always attending the baby I work all day long from monday to saturday and sunday that it's my only day off she does n't have time for me, before the baby was born she was a lot nicer and know I feel like rejected and some times I feel like she does n't love me any more 'please' give me an advice what should I do about it
2006-09-09 13:48:03 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
have a good day,
about youre problem,you need to talk to hER about that,because on youre problem it maybe cause no good theres a possibility that maybe you will gonno cheat,if everv she realy dont like to have sex with you,just say that you need another baby again,and if she smile that means she will like it,or get a baby sitter for youre baby so that she have time for you,,and think THAT IS YOURE BABY,THATS FROM YOU,THAT BABY AND YUO IS 1,same blood same flesh...so dont be gealous to youre baby,,i know men like sex and they need it but please understand youre wife..she takecare that baby because she love you,thats the fruit of youre love each other.SO DONT THING WRONG ABOUT THAT.....
2006-09-09 20:13:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient with the situation. It's difficult to get back into a rythum after a baby comes into your lives... more so for her than you. She's not allowed to have sex for at least six weeks after giving birth... and probably doesn't even want to just yet. She's tired, constantly thinking about the care of the baby... and has alot on her mind. You could try sitting down with her and just open up to her about how you're feeling... and make sure she knows that you're not complaining about it... just that you miss her, love her, and would like to know from time to time that she still feels the same way. You can also tell her that you understand that she's going through lots of changes right now, and want to help her any way you can. I know you work 6 days a week... she works 24 hours a day... no days off! Try taking care of the baby on Sundays for a few straight hours... to give her a break. Get involved in putting the baby to sleep at night. It's still too early to expect any private time... especially with a 4 week old... but you can share in the work load. If she's not nursing, try taking care of the baby one whole night (even if you have work the next day... after all, she does it all the time). This will help her greatly... and she'll appreciate it even if it doesn't really show.
Take heart in the fact that in a few months, things will become more normal and less hectic as she gets into a routine. Just always keep the lines of communication open between you two, and talk your feelings out in a loving manner, not accusatory.
Oh, yah! If you can manage it... try taking a shower together when the baby is sleeping. You can give her a nice washing, and you may spark a little something in the shower (but no sex for a few more weeks yet). The hot water relaxes the mind and it's cozy. It always worked for me.
I made sure me and my husband always talked in the early stages of when we had a baby... and we managed to understand eachother. We're expecting our second baby and are fully aware of the sacrifices envolved... and are ready for it a second time.
Good luck.
2006-09-09 21:09:28 · answer #2 · answered by VixenMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im 6 months pregnant and my partner and i have already talked about this subject. Both of you have a legitimate reason for feeling the way you do. You work all week and she is caring for a newborn 7 days a week.
Sit her down and tell her how you feel, but remember u have to understand how she feels as well. Its a two lane road and not one, both of you have to put in the effort. When a baby comes along regretfully the partner does come second after bub. Not because she doesnt love u anymore but because there is a little person in the next room that regretfully needs all this attention to survive. She may be exhausted herself from looking after bubby and the only thing u can do to help is to tell her you love her, that you will be there for her if she needs help with bubby and that the two of you can help each other that way one of u doesnt feel left out.
Tell her u miss the intimacy and that u do feel like she put u on a shelf. But DONT make her feel guilty. The moment u do that she may give u more space. Remember she might want the intimacy as much as u do. Its not about thinking about your needs but what the two of u need as a couple.
2006-09-09 20:56:55 · answer #3 · answered by gr33n_3y3d_grrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just like when your wife was pregnant here hormones were running wild and now that the baby is here unfortunatly its still the same not only are her hormones racing but she feels the need to be the best mom she can be, by now your son should be falling into some kind of sleep pattern so my suggestion is that when he is sleeping give her a massage rub her feet and while your rubbing her express how much you love her tell her how much the baby and her mean to you maybe she isnt happy with the way she looks right now either so also express how beautiful she is no matter what be patient its not a personal attack on you shes just so consumed with the baby and herself right now trying to figure her self out even trust me i know my daughter is 6 weeks old and this is what i would want my husband to do for me if you feel like she maybe doesnt want to be touched right now maybe a nice card expressing your feeling might also work no matter what just try to support her as much as you can and remember she is really and truly going threw a life change she needs your support dont give up things will change and get better
2006-09-09 21:05:32 · answer #4 · answered by lisaisfunn1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be nice to her. she is probably over the moon about the baby. and you hve to realise that for the last 9 months she was pregnant. so as for the ten weeks... dude she was at the end of her pregnancy for the six weeks and four weeks have been hell trying to care for a newborn and not to mention the recovery from the birth. Can you begin to imagine how excruciatingly painful it would have been.
as i said, be nice to her and help her out. i know you work hard all week but perhaps on the day u r at home take over from the responsibility of the baby. give her time for herself so she can relax for a change and you probably will get what you want - but you have to earn it at this stage.
i am sorry to be the bearer of bad news but having a baby and then caring for a newborn is a full time job... not an 8 hr a day thing where you have sundays off. this is a 24 hour thing ... perhaps she is over worked, over stressed, and over tired. give her a helping hand for now ... i am sure she loves you after all you are the father of her child :)
2006-09-09 20:57:09 · answer #5 · answered by lilmisssquare 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't panic it is quite common in women after they have had a baby i have had four and i put mt partner through the same thing. Has she been to the doctors because it sounds like depression and if it's not then may be it is just down to tiredness. There could be another reason for this some women just don't feel attractive after having a child she needs to know that you still love her and that you still find her attractive. Children are hard work and they only get worse so buckle up for a bumpy ride just stay strong and don't forget to let your wife know that you are there. Good luck i feel for both of you it is difficult when you feel like that x
2006-09-09 20:56:36 · answer #6 · answered by the strange one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your problem is very common. The best thing to do is talk to her. She, likes most new mom's do, feels ugly (extra weight, tired) feels like a food factory from breast feeding, and ontop of all this she is stressed out about new mom worries (is the baby eating right, sleeping enough) and taking care of you, (such as clean laundry and grocery shopping). You may find out that she does not feel that happy either. She is not showing you much love, and probably not taking care of herself either, every energy is for your new son. If she feels like you do, talk about how you can share in some of the chores to make life easier, such as cleaning up or cooking dinner two nights a week. If you can afford it, get a maid service for a few months till you both get the hang of things. This may help get her energy so she can focus on you too. Once she feels sane again, and feels her sexy old self, the attention to you will return. (she may also be thinking unconsciously that sex with you is how she got into this mess)
2006-09-09 21:17:15 · answer #7 · answered by Bobbi S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men! you have no idea what she been through. She is tired after nine months and then a baby to look after. By the way you can't switch of a baby like you switch of when you come home from work. Try getting help maybe a baby sitter or something or family to help out treat her like a queen again. Go out for dinner build that magic again. Tell her what a great job she doing raising your child give support.
2006-09-09 21:19:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is difficult after a baby is born, there is now someone else that needs her too. It is very hard work looking after a baby, the irregular sleeping pattern you have to adhere to, the usual household chores, so she is obviously very tired. Plus her body is still getting back to normal after the birth. Try and be as patient as possible. Perhaps one of the grandparents could have the baby overnight to give you guys a break? It will get better trust me.
2006-09-09 20:52:57 · answer #9 · answered by lollipoppett2005 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give things time to adjust and you need to bond with your son! Tell her that you are feeling left out and that you want sometime with her, maybe grandma can come over for a couple hours on Sunday and you can spend sometime together. Your wife's hormones are going crazy she is probably exhausted, the efforts and support you give you will pay off big time later. Try and bond with your son and enjoy him!
2006-09-09 20:55:33 · answer #10 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watches while women begin to attack this man like ravenous wolves...and not address his issue fairly as though he is ONLY being selfish and not thinking of her. Come on ladies he has a legitimate question, and by the way he has feelings too. Let the claws retract, and take a deep breath. Then answer in a neutral fashion. Thank you. Poor guy. hahaha
2006-09-09 20:51:02 · answer #11 · answered by skoosh_me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋