I am in love and having a tough time. I need to get out. The other person has no regard to my feelings.
2006-09-09 13:33:20 · 13 answers · asked by torontofabsingle 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Because you mentioned your "feelings", I assume you're a girl.
You're not in love. Don't trust your "feelings". Your "feelings" will set you up for a fall more times than not.
It's your "feelings" that are telling you that you're in love with this bum. You're really not.
You're experiencing what is commonly called "infatuation". He has "swept you offf your feet", and now you're beginning to see who he really is, but you are still impressed enough with him that the infatuation you have for him is hanging tough.
No guy is perfect. Women are stimulated by a mans voice and a man's touch. Men are stimulated visually by a woman's form.
You've got to ask yourself "What does he want?" You say he has no regard for your "feelings", but what I think you mean is that you're finding out that what you want for your future and what he wants for his future aren't the same. You're looking forward and thinking about security, a home, a future, possibly children and your life for the next 50 years. He's thinking about right now, and right now, he wants sex.
You're "feelings" have taken you into a time of what you call love, but now that you're snapping out of it, you're seeing the reality. He doesn't want to talk about what you think should be settled right now before you waste any more time with him.
Years ago I heard something that stuck with me. The topic was commodity trading, and the guy said "Investing is like hitchhiking." "When an issue is going your way, buy. When it's going down, get out and catch a ride with something else".
So, what do you think. Is he going your way?
2006-09-09 13:53:03 · answer #1 · answered by s2scrm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously know what's right for you. The best way to fall out of love is to walk away and let time heal. You will get over the whole situation but it does take a little time. Be tough.
2006-09-09 20:49:41 · answer #2 · answered by Efrain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, a good ol' pros and cons list always does wonders for me. Its going to take being very honest with yourself. You're probably more in love with the IDEA of being in love... or more correctly, the idea of being in love with the feelings that this person has at some point evoked from you. Name ten things you dont like about that person. Then name five that you do. If it takes you longer for the second part, thats another eye opener. Also, try writing down what your opinion of the ideal relationship is. Mutual respect and love? Happy, open conversations? Always having a rock to lean on? Write down everything, i mean EVERYTHING you want out of an "IDEAL" aka perfect relationship. Then, go down your list and see how many this person who has no regard for you meets. Good luck! everyone deserves to be loved as much as they themselves love another!
2006-09-09 20:42:08 · answer #3 · answered by LiveItUp 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately... You've got to hit bottom.
Women (assuming you are either a woman or a sensitive man?) either way... both, have very deep bottoms and when they; (as*sholes) say "I love you," they know what it get's them for it, even after the most possible pain they could put you through.
People know why they do what they do... If you wanted to be honest about it, you might just find that these sorts of things really do have to do with those jungian steriotypical emotional mine fields we tip toe through trying to avoid for as long as we can get away with it. Until one day... BOOM! Then... we hurt, lick our wounds and then find someone else who will abuse us (looking or not) and we get out of people what we put into them. We really do teach people how to treat us. You can't blame and you shouldn't stay.
Don't tell me. You have been trying to "Save" this person from themselves for what seems like forever? Trust me, it is the fact that there will always be another you waiting in the wings to pick up where you took off that really bothers you. If this is the case. you are better off investing yourself into the health and rehabilitation of a homeless person. At least they sometimes appreciate it in the end?
and unfortunately, you will have to put up forever and imagine the rest of your whole life like this or change your own needs to something other than just theirs.
2006-09-09 21:16:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi..
It is never pleasant to breakup, with someone, but sometimes the best thing to do;(
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All you can do is : explain yourself as best you can, as soon as possible.... And do it face to face.... Perhaps write him/her, a letter, that way you can get your thoughts nice and organized, then be with him/her.. when he reads it..
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My advice for moving on is to do just that : "move on"...
At least for a while, discontinue contact with him/her ...Being civil if you run into each other is one thing, but don't continue to run to him/her, with problems and so forth... Break all strings.... If at some point in the future you can again be friends, that's great.... Sadly, that has not been my experience.....
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I really hope that you find the strenght.. and the courage!!
Remember : when the time is "right",you will meet someone, who is the perfect one, for you!!;)
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Thanks, for the question!;D
My regards!
2006-09-09 21:08:49 · answer #5 · answered by Kimberly 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
how can you be in love with someone that has no regard for your feelings??? i don't understand that at all. sounds like you may have a bad case of low self esteem.... maybe you should talk to someone? i would think that the falling out of love issue is not your worst problem here....
2006-09-09 21:27:17 · answer #6 · answered by panamm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im in the same boat my boyfriend has no regard for my feelings so just yesterday i decided on a new stategy i shut down and put up a brick wall he came home and was trying to talk to me and my response over and over again was i have nothing to say he then asked well what should he do now i said whatever you want and his response was he is moving out great just what i think i need time to myself try it it might work
2006-09-09 20:44:24 · answer #7 · answered by lisaisfunn1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in your exact situation...to fall OUT of love...If it is hurting you,,YOu need to....It will mess with your head...and that is mental abuse....Just consciously STOP thinking of the person...and replace the thought with something else...that has worked for me..sorry you have to go through this..
2006-09-09 20:41:14 · answer #8 · answered by sweet 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Walk away. FAR away. Time is the healer in this situation. Besides, you deserve better.
2006-09-09 20:39:20 · answer #9 · answered by Stan B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
leave, tell the person you are done ... there is no love left. you want out of the relationship.
2006-09-09 20:38:34 · answer #10 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋