I asked her to write down some things I needed her to do for me while I was gone. I started telling her that someone will be coming by to pick up tools and drop off a mini vacuum. I also said that he wil be dropping off some other tools.
She began to write things down, but then questioned what I asked and repeated something different about the vacuum. She said that the way I worded it sounded confusing and she just wanted to make sure that she understood what I said.
This is so frustrating to me. I told her how she doesn't listen to me and then she walked away with an attitude.
Then I asked her what is wrong and she tries to tell me that I upset her because she says that I am impatient with her.
I said I was sorry that she was upset, but found no reason to apologize for what I did cause I did nothing wrong.
2006-09-09 13:31:47 · 24 answers · asked by joe man 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is an unanswerable question. Without being there and hearing what you actually said (as opposed to what you may have only thought you siad), we can't say if she's in the wrong or you are.
2006-09-09 13:34:41 · answer #1 · answered by juicy_wishun 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This use to happen to my husband and I as well. She is what you called an organized, prepared, responsible kind of person and you are more of an impulsive, immediate, spontaneous person. All she was trying to do is get clarity so that a misunderstanding did not take place. Problems happen when miscommunication is present. If you are honestly looking for advice....try to be more patient. MOST men need to work on patience. You are not alone.
2006-09-09 21:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My hubby is just like you........I asked him once "what did your last servant die of?" If he wants a list of chores now, he writes them and keeps his fingers crossed if they get done in whatever spare time I have (which isn't a lot!)
Hes American I am British...........I guess we have different ways of asking for help, its nothing serious just a cultural issue. Is your wife the same nationality as you? The fact that you asked her to repeat what she wrote so she had got it right underminds her ability to do a job and smashes the self esteem to bits. Try not to be so insensitive in the future and refrain from telling her she doesn't listen!
2006-09-09 21:04:40 · answer #3 · answered by lollipoppett2005 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say you have some issues. You say you don`t owe her an apology because you did nothing wrong. Sounds as if your impatience and condescending tone upset her. I bet you are the type of guy that picks a girl he feels superior to and belittles her to make himself feel better. Jerk !!! Hope she runs like hell.
2006-09-09 20:38:31 · answer #4 · answered by ddelatoba 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
communication is never easy...she is probably not listening as closely as she should, you could have been rambling and jumping so she couldn't follow your instructions easily. I think the tolerant thing to have done was simply answer her questions to clarify, by telling your instruction again. So she would be clear on what you said. And you would have gotten your ideas expressed clearly. You should both apologize to each other.
2006-09-09 20:44:17 · answer #5 · answered by ladyofthehouse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The issue is you not having patients. If you are going to marry her, you better get used to having to explain things more than once! The way you worded it, she just wanted to make sure she did the right thing for you, what's wrong with that?!?!?!?
2006-09-09 21:48:57 · answer #6 · answered by monroe1172002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having frustrations with the woman you love is only the beginning. I really don't see what your huge problem is....if this is the biggest gripe you have with her - thank your lucky stars!! Marriage is HARD WORK. Bottom line is, take your time and be sure your are mature enough to handle the commitment.
2006-09-09 21:00:36 · answer #7 · answered by Maggie Mae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I face the same problem with my boyfriend....it's like I don't understand what he says sometimes. Maybe it's because of the guys' jargons or the tone that he uses. Some women are slower in receiving instructions (I'm one of them) and they need patient guys who'd not snap at them.
If the same thing happened to me and my boyfriend snapped at me, the only thought running through my head would be, 'It's NOT FAIR! I'm putting in effort to follow your instructions and all you do is snap at me!'
And if she's an emotional girl, the memory of you snapping at her doesn't stay in her head, it stays in her heart.
You've got to understand that women and men think and operate differently. Some women receive instructions and need to inteprete into their own terms, jargons, vocabulary etc. before they fully digest men's words.
2006-09-09 20:41:03 · answer #8 · answered by citrusy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I don't know it kind of sounds like you were a little too left-brained with her. You gave her a list which she agreed to do and you were irritated with her for trying to clarify what you needed.
You kinda sound like an engineer. She might have over reacted, how would I know, but I think the problem might be you.
Sorry, but that's my gut feeling.
2006-09-09 20:35:33 · answer #9 · answered by niwriffej 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No I would not agree. She wanted clarification and you were impatient and snappy with her. You're lucky all she did was walk off in a huff. Next time rephrase the way you talk.
2006-09-09 21:58:53 · answer #10 · answered by wondering 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋