How do I get the mother of my "almost" grandson to quit giving him whole milk at the young age of 4.5 mos.?

Question

I know it sounds complicated and believe me it is...:-(

I should have said "convince" instead of get bc I have done everything I can think of and she is just stupid. I know that sounds rough but you just do not know this girl. She lived with us and we didn't find out the 'truth' about this precious baby until he was 15 weeks old. But I promised her I would be his Nana no matter the father. And as his "Nana' I have to speak up when I think she is neglecting him. But I am afraid she will take him from me, I still keep him about 2 days a week. I love him and it's not his fault. Maybe I need to find a chat group. I'm sorry I vented...but this is really laying heavy on my heart. It hurts his stomach. And I'm worried that bc I feed him formula maybe I am also causing problems. Help...?

she gets WIC...and food stamps

Answer 1

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies not be given whole cow's milk for the first 12 months of life). There are many reasons for this, but the most important is related to the iron needs of a child. Iron is an essential part of red blood cells. When the body does not have enough iron to make red blood cells "anemia" (or decreased level of red blood cells) will develop. Normally, babies are born with enough iron in their body for the first few months of life. However by 3-4 months, extra iron is needed. This extra iron should come from the child's diet and this is why iron-fortified formula is recommended for infants who are not breast-fed.

For a variety of reasons, whole cow's milk is considered to be a very poor source of iron. In addition, the protein in cow's milk is not easy to digest by babies. By far, the best source of iron, and other nutrients for a baby is breast milk. For this reason breastfeeding should continue for as long as possible. However when breastfeeding is not an option, baby should be drinking iron-fortified formula which contains enough iron and all other essential vitamins and nutrients to support normal growth and development. In addition, infant formulas contain modified cow's milk protein that a baby can more easily digest.

Prior to the current recommendation, babies were switched to whole cow's milk at 6 months of age, or even earlier. The reason that the period on iron-fortified formula or breast milk has been extended is that studies have shown a surprising amount of iron deficiency anemia in children less than a year of age. We also now recognize that iron deficiency anemia in the first year has been linked to developmental delays, that unfortunately, in some cases are not reversed by adding iron to the diet later. Therefore prevention of iron deficiency anemia is our goal.

As you can see, whole cow's milk is not suitable for most of the first year of life. While the exact timing of the switch should be discussed with your doctor, whole cow's milk should only be introduced when baby is eating adequate amount of solid foods containing iron and vitamin C, preferably between 9 to 12 months of age. On a final note, remember, when the switch is made, it should be to be to whole cow's milk only, as skim or 2% milk are not recommended for children less than 2 years old.

Answer 2

First is she giving the baby whole milk to save money? That is usually the reason that people will try milk that is not good for the baby at such a young age. It is a lot easier to pay $3 for a gallon then $15 for a can of powder formula. If you think it is a financial reason, see if you can get her to sign up for W.I.C. then the formula is free. If she makes too much for W.I.C. maybe you could purchase the formula for her (if she will let you).

The downsides to whole milk at an early age here is a small list but it has more effects than I can probably recall.
1. Increases the size of the fat cells in the baby's body making her child 80% more likely to be obesse as an adult.

2. Leads to lactose intolerance (does she really want to have a child that cannot eat ice cream)

3. It does not have all of the vitamins and minerals for the brain, nerves, muscles, proper growth.

4. Causes discomfort in the bowels of the baby and they can have complications such as irritable bowel syndrome, constipation, loose bowels, and it can damage the nerves in the digestive track leading to far worse complications.

Your approach to her is the key. If you go in demanding that she change to formula, she will get defensive and feel as if you do not think she is a good mom and that will make her not want to listen to what you have to say.
You could show her the results of your question on the computer. Tell her you have been doing research on the computer and you are afraid of the possible complications, is there anything you can do to help her get the formula for the baby. Try to put yourself in her shoes, how would you like someone to tell you that you are doing something wrong with your child (if you have had children remember how defensive you were when the well intentioned people gave you advice that you did not like) Try to tailor your questions to make her feel like you are on her side not against her.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Is she young? NO NO NO NO NO
Please tell her that she is doing her baby a grave injustice by giving the baby whole milk now. 4 or 5 months is WAAAAAAY
too early. The earliest you start giving a baby whole milk is one years old. The baby formula has nutrients that they MUST have as babies. If the issues is money, get wic. Or if that is not a option, then only when I had no money, i have used pet milk in the can. Not the stuff you put in macaroni, but the can that says pet milk. My son came out fine. Diluted of course. The pet milk is better than whole milk.

Answer 4

What kind of relationship do you have with her? If she doesn't listen to you in general, it may be hard to influence her. I would appeal to her doctor or some other authority figure in her life to have a serious talk with her about the importance of proper nutrition for her baby.

Is the baby only drinking whole milk? No formula or breastmilk? This is definitely not OK. Besides the fact that babies can develop terrible allergies if given dairy before they are ready (should be over one year according to some), cow's milk is not adequate in many vital nutrients available in human milk. Even formula would be better than plain whole milk for sure.

If you can, direct her to information on www.kellymom.com or http://www.aap.org/

Good luck and good for you for looking out for this baby's health.

Answer 5

Tell her that whole milk doesnt contain the vitamens and nutrients that breast milk contains that are vital to a baby's health! Babies at that age dont eat many solids so it's essential that her child, if not breastfeeding, to get formula instead. Formula is also easier on the digestion than whole milk and contains less bacterium.

Answer 6

That can be touchy to deal with. But other than saying that whole milk does not provide all the nutrients that the baby needs, I really do not know. I do like the answer about calling the baby's dr and talk to the nurse and have her put in the cart about having the dr mention it to her the next time she goes in. Tell them not to mention that you called tho. Good luck!

Answer 7

Have her talk to a pediatrician or find some articles about why it's bad.

Whole bovine milk should not be fed to infants during the first year of life because of its association with occult gastrointestinal bleeding, iron deficiency anemia, and cow's milk allergy. The consumption of whole milk after the first year of life should be discouraged because of its potential role in a variety of disorders including atherosclerosis, recurrent abdominal pain of childhood, cataracts, milk-borne infections, and juvenile delinquency.

Answer 8

Personally I think it's not up to you to decide. It's her child to decide what is best for him. If this is the only problem she has...I'd just let it go. As others have said--children have survived worse.

If he comes over to your house--give him formula there.

It really doesn't make a difference if she's on WIC and food stamps. Again, those are things she chooses not to use properly and that's her problem. The baby will come out just fine. I wouldn't try to talk to her about it because this would most likely start family issues big time. We have to pick and chose our battles--and for me, this wouldn't be one grave enough to fight.

Answer 9

the fact that he is getting formula and whole milk is probably why his stomach is hurting. cows milk will not hurt the baby and as far as not having enough vitamins get a bottle of multivitamin infant drops to give him once a day. both my babies were on cows milk at 5 months and both were fine with it. i'd like to know what you drank when you were a baby.

Answer 10

When my brother was a baby, every type of formula that my mother gave him, he got sick from it... The Dr's didn't know what to do so my mom gave him diluted 2% milk, and he was fine, the Dr's didn't like it, but it didn't hurt him, and he's a very healthy 6'5'' man today. I don't see what the problem is, as long as he's healthy...