she just had her heart ripped out and broken to into a zillion peices by a guy that she was really into...they went out b4 but broke up ages ago she finnaly had the courage to ask him out again and he was cruel and just humiliated her how can i help her she doesn't want to get over him what can i say to make her feel better? i never wanted her to get hurt but i kinda tld her sh shud find out if he liked her instesd of bottling it up
2006-09-09 11:49:57 · 9 answers · asked by pritzy-fairy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Examine your original question with me. Do you see the part where you have written "she doesn't want to get over him" - ? There is your answer as to how to help your friend. Step back. Let her know before you do that you realize how deeply upset she is right now, but that all you can do is be there for her if she asks for help with this one. Nothing is more annoying than unasked for advice and help when all your feelings are raw from a new event like this. So continue to be her best friend and politely and lovingly step back from her. How to do this? Big hug, first. Eye contact. Touch her arm and tell her "You know I am there for you. If you need anything, just call me and we can talk." And then do it: step back and leave her alone so she can fully feel (and therefore get over a little sooner) all that has recently happened to her. I know others will advise you differently, but your friend is super intelligent, so to respect that quality in her, you really must be kind and step back and give her her space to sort things out. Give this some thought, please. Sent to you with positive energies from Chris in South Portland, Maine, U.S.A. (I am 63 years old, and nothing is so wonderful when you are upset as having a best friend be there for you, but not plunk, right in your face all the time, that you can call on when you are ready to move forward and get on with things.)
2006-09-09 13:33:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could try having a gilrs night out. maybe go to the movies or out to eat, something to her mind off of him, any ways guys are jerkes, they say things with out reolizing it would hert someone until 20 min. later (or not al all) i bet you once the guys reolized what he did he felt bad, and if he didn't then he's not worth her time. also if he i still cruel to her then remined her (i know it sounds stupid) that there are plenty other fish in the sea, and from the looks of it there are A LOT that a better then him.
2006-09-09 11:57:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Continue to be thee for her when she needs you. Show her how concerned you are, give her space, let her talk when she wants to and be the listening ear.
When you notice that she is ready ( and you will ) suggest going out and help her build back her self-confidence. Have fun together and with other friends. It will take time but she will appreciate your support.
2006-09-09 11:55:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
be there for your friend has she needs you the guy who done that to her is a total jerk.
why don't you get a movie a nice bottle of wine (if you are over 18)and some chocolate to cheer her up
2006-09-10 03:24:38 · answer #4 · answered by becky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her to go on a girly day and nite out, but say its for you for you are having a bit of trouble at home, go to a theme park they always make you laugh... making her think about you may sound strange but if she has something else to worry about /focus on then she wont be thinking of the jerk, and if she believes that she is helping you and see's you smile then that alone will lift her spirits and your as well.. good luck
2006-09-09 12:31:45 · answer #5 · answered by thenickistar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that she is WAY too good for him!! he humiliated her, he's a JERK!!! tell her, "look, i know that you still probably like him, but he really isn't worth it. i know you and you are WAY out of his league. i love you (as a friend of course) and that's why im telling you this. please think about what i said." make her laugh, hang out with her, go bowling, skating, have a sleepover, whatever! get her mind off him and make her realize that she can live without him!!!
2006-09-09 12:02:20 · answer #6 · answered by shortie77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to move on and get over this guy, and you really need to tell her, as it would be the kindest thing for you to do, be there for her. good luck you are a really good friend, she is lucky to have you. cheers
2006-09-09 12:00:26 · answer #7 · answered by donua1022 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant say anything to make it better,just be there for her and tell her to forget the creep
2006-09-09 12:11:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should tell her that here are mor fishes in the sea.
and that true love will find you.
2006-09-09 11:56:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋