I'm Canadian, and married to an Englishman. I'm miserable and want desperately to leave. Unfortunately, I haven't got enough money to return to Canada, and the only people I know here are my husband's family. None of whom would help me, because they like to keep my husband from getting angry. He fractured my elbow about a month ago, and still I can't get away!!! I told his relatives about it, because it scared me, but they all asked what I did. I'm stuck! If I told my parents everything, they'd probably bring me home, but be broke, since they're trying to sell one of their houses and are losing money like crazy trying to keep two houses going. I would feel too much guilt.
2006-09-09 11:45:57 · 41 answers · asked by krissy_butterworth 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i feel for you... first and foremost keep your chin up and tell your self you never did mind about the little things.... there are two ideas first is grit your teeth for a while and treat him like he was king then ask him if the two of you could go and visit your parents as a surprise for their wedding aniv or something like that then when your there tell that he is a no good '~@: and hand him his ticket home, or you could try and get a loan from some where in your married name and once your gone, your gone, leave him to foot the bill while your home with your parents helping you and them get back on the right path....
2006-09-09 12:22:27 · answer #1 · answered by thenickistar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In the short term, to ensure your personal safety you need to talk to someone in 'Citizen's Advice Bureau' (see phone book) about leaving to avoid further violence. You could also get this information from the police. There is a network of 'safe houses' where women can go to get away from violent partners, before deciding how to proceed with their lives.
For divorce see a solicitor - ask in the Citizens Addvice place about that too, some will give you the first hour free. Also there are books in library or from WHSmiths.
Do share as much as you can with your parents, even if you're not sure what you want to do, as otherwise when you do tell them the first thing they will say is 'Why didn't you tell us sooner?' People can be very resourceful when their loved ones are in danger.
2006-09-09 11:58:33 · answer #2 · answered by Tertia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to call them and let them know what's going on. If their willing to help then let them . Your their child and they wouldn't want you to stay in something like that I'm sure. If the money is the issue them let them know you'll be glad to pay it back. Most parents won't ask for it but because you are an adult now you need to show them you are holding yourself responsible for getting into a bad marriage and you want to pay them back. Just do what you know you should do . Don't let guilt keep you in a bad marriage. Once you get home you can get a divorce and put this behind you .Then start your life back on the right track. Allow your parents to help you chose the right man to be with. They love you and I'm sure they only want whats best for you.
2006-09-09 12:00:09 · answer #3 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are OTHER WAYS to get out of this unhealthy marriage. You don't have to wait till you leave the country!
Why not get in touch with an agency that deals with abuse and take it from there?
But be quick; it doesn't sound to me like you should hang around; you never know when the next blow will come.
ACT NOW. Take the first step right away.
Good luck ......get this handled now! [by the way you can take control of your own life-don't wait for permission!]
2006-09-09 12:23:13 · answer #4 · answered by Bluebells21 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps there is a shelter in your area, for abused women. You could go there and they would provide you a safe place to stay, until you could get on your feet. Some places even have financial aid for abuse victims.
You should call the "Boys town National Help line" and talk to a person who might could help you better.
**Call With any Problem, Anytime
1-800-448-3000 (TDD 1-800-448-1833)
Open 24 hours a day, everyday**
2006-09-09 11:51:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aww, Leave ASAP. What a bastard, not all English men are like him. Send him round to me and I will give him some of his own nasty medicine. W*anker. I HATE these men who think it's OK to hit women. You could try a refuge and call the police as they take it very seriously now. You poor little thing. Ask for help and you will probably get it. If I were you I would let your parents pay and pay them back as soon as you can. Good luck and take no more s*it. Don't let him bully you
2006-09-09 11:52:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You think you parents want you stuck in a situation like this? Call and ask for their help. You can get a job as soon as you get home and start repaying the money to them. If they can't, maybe you can talk to someone at the Canadian embassy in London to get some advice. If this doesn't work out either, start saving money RIGHT away for your ticket.
2006-09-09 11:54:03 · answer #7 · answered by SaraG 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is being phsically abusive, you need to leave as soon as possible. Even if you have to borrow money from your parents to get home, it's something you need to do. It's obvious his family is going to side with him. If your parents are the only people that will help you, then you have to turn to them. The sooner you get out of this marriage, the happier you'll be.
2006-09-09 11:50:58 · answer #8 · answered by Merge 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out NOW! Your parents would be more upset if they knew you were enduring an abusive husband. Money can always be made, you can get a job and pay them back, in fact that is exactly what you should do. Go home, work, and move on in your life with the support and love of your family. Forget him and his relatives.
2006-09-09 11:52:28 · answer #9 · answered by crkristy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, sorry to hear of the problem that you are in. Have you thought to tell your husband that you want a divorce, that you will not longer allow him to treat you this way and that you want to go home? Stand up to this man! Or go and get some help for the both of you. Stop being a VICTIM and start making something happen in your life!
2006-09-09 11:54:23 · answer #10 · answered by jewels 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋