My girlfriend and I have recently split up. I am suffering from depression due to the death or my granny.
She says I have changed as I have been down and moody towards everyone. She has supported me but not in the way I wanted. I love her to bits and want to get back together.
I have woken up from my depression and I am not gonna let it get me down now. She told me she did love me but more as a friend but she also said that if we get back together it will be on her terms and I will have to make it up to her.
I am happier in myself now and don't know how to make it up to her and do I really need to?
2006-09-09 11:19:31 · 21 answers · asked by paulb264 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if she says more like a friend then move on. If she does not feel that way anymore you are wasting your time.
2006-09-12 03:23:34 · answer #1 · answered by Nic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry about your Granny, but also sorry that you are feeling so upset about your girlfriend leaving you too, I think she is a very selfish person, its not easy when you lose someone you love very much and grieving is something that takes time and at different paces for different people, she doesn't sound like she has supported you at all, if she had been true in her support of you she would not have been so cruel as to say you have been moody and down, for goodness sake you lost your Granny, what does she want you to do, a highland fling for gods sake, just because her life is hunky dory does she expect every ones to be the same, she sound shallow and self centred to me, sorry, but for her to say she loves you as a friend and you can have her back in your life but under her terms, god she'll be expecting you to sign an agreement next, a relationship cannot work under the terms and conditions of one person, its a two way thing, I think you might be better going and seeing a bereavement councillor and finding a new girlfriend too, one that loves you for you, without condition and but with support, good luck.
2006-09-09 21:56:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No!You cannot go back into that relationship on her terms.A relationship is like a(good!)marriage-its a togeather thing,not a one-way thing.You will probably only end up more depressed with this girl if she gets everything on "her terms",not good for you!!Truth is,you say you are happier in yourself now-why not give that a go for a change,you can always start another friendship down the line at some point in time,cant you?Your question"and do i really need to?"suggests that you may have had enough of this girl anyway,so have a rest and support yourself for a change,no-one has anything over you then:-)
2006-09-09 18:43:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you say she has supported you but not in the way you wont, that i don't understand that bit, what why did she support you.. the death of your granny, would have been very hard for you. and glad that you did have some support. Glad also that you are coming to terms, with your granny passing on. Why will you have to make it up to her, that does not sound right, and if she only looks as you as a friend, will maybe you need to let her go and get on with your life,, good luck god bless.
2006-09-09 18:54:34 · answer #4 · answered by donua1022 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, let me say that I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. But it sounds as if this girl is really insensitive. I think maybe you should give a second thought to as is this the person that I really want to be with. She should understand that you just had a death in your family.And i'msure you and your grandma were very close. I feel as though she is spoiled, she has to realize that your life doesn't revolve around her world. I understand that you love her but if she truly loved you, she would have stuck by you in your time of need. Don't ever let someone tell you that in order to get back with them it has to be on there terms. That is control. She should not have any control over you and you with her.
2006-09-09 18:30:17 · answer #5 · answered by Le'Le 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are with someone who cannot stand by you, support you and love you during difficult times it is probably better to move thru the depression and onto new relationships. Many negative and devastating events will occur during your life. You will need a person who can understand the down times as well as enjoy the good times without expecting you to "make up" for a natural reaction to a death in the family. Since she is saying she loves you like a friend it is a indication she as already moved on is probably dating other men already. Good luck to you.
2006-09-09 18:28:06 · answer #6 · answered by crkristy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be, don't bother. I'm not surprised you were moody & down, losing a loved one is tough, I should know.
She doesn't deserve you, you have nothing to make up for. She should have been supporting you through the loss of you're Granny, not causing you more heartache. As for getting back together on her terms, she's a discrace to womankind!!
Put your new happy self into looking for someone who will love & support you & vice-versa.
Best of luck, take care & I'm sorry for the loss of your Granny.
2006-09-09 18:43:15 · answer #7 · answered by devon lass 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship on her terms? Are you kidding me? This girl sounds rather self absorbed, don't ya think? I know you love her to bits, but honey, relationships, at least healthy ones, are where two people come together. It's not suppose to be one dictating the other. Unless you like that sort of thing, I don't see this working out. If you have managed to come out of the depression and are much happier with your life, stay happy and find someone who doesn't have demands and will accept you for who you are.
2006-09-09 18:24:02 · answer #8 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW .... If she said she ONLY LOVES you as a friend then I feel there is more STEMING to the break-up inside her then you will allow yourself to realize or see and another thing if she couldnt be there for you the way you wanted her to be in such a hard time then you two truly have no buisness being together heck she couldnt ride through the bad times ALREADY consider it an early warning you two ARE NOT RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER EVERYONE DESERVES HAPPINESS to the fullest extent especially in someone you choose to spend the rest of your days with!
2006-09-09 19:47:11 · answer #9 · answered by Sammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand how you feel especially when you have lost someone so dear to you, your granny probably gave you alot of love and you are looking for this in your girlfriend. Love has to be the same on both sides, she might not be the right one for you, let her make the first move and then you will know that she loves you.
2006-09-09 18:55:12 · answer #10 · answered by lovelylass 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she doesnt love you at all. if she knew you at all she would've realised what you were going through and stood by you through the good and the bad. she cant just pick you up and drop you because she isnt happy with the way youre behaving. a relationship is all about give and take and it seems all she wants is one oart of that. take take take. and for her to say that you have to make it up to her is so unreal. CHEEKY!! she should be making up to you for being so heartless. you might love her but she'll never make you truly happy- a part of you will always resent her for leaving you when you needed her the most. Find a girl that will love you for you- happy or not!!
2006-09-13 12:38:22 · answer #11 · answered by tara25holly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋