Well, you'll see... some months ago i told my mother that even i have a boyfriend... in 5th grade i realized that i like girls instead of boys, and that i'm deeply in love with a girl right now... she said she didn't see any kind of "gay behavior" on me during my childhood, and she said that my friends influenced me to be gay... i freaked out when she said that, bcos she doesn't understand that i have gay friends bcos i feel understood with them. she thinks i'm confused but i'm pretty clear about what my preferences are. how do i convince her that i'm not playing and that i'm in love with a female?
2006-09-09 11:03:14 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Your actions will tell the tale.
She is simply in denial. Give her time to accept it. Or just sit down and have an open and intelligent conversation with her about it.
2006-09-09 11:06:13 · answer #1 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is unlikely that you will convince your mother your friends are not influencing you. You are still very young. If you want your mother to understand the whole gay thing.. then you can contact groups that deal with issues of how to talk to parents, how to discuss these things. Parents & friends of lesbians and gays (Pflag) usually has some resources for support. Since you are so young it might be limited to some degree in the amount of help they can legally offer you.
http://www.pflag.org/ is their web site and on the left column you will find coming out and support.
2006-09-09 18:37:58 · answer #2 · answered by Silvatungfox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mothers tend to go a little crazy when it comes to this topic. it may help the both of you to hear my thoughts on it.
gay, straight, and bi are not genetic, hormonal, or environmental. it's a part of a person's personality, and sometimes a person's personality changes, i e we start to like foods we once hated. yes, genes, hormones, and environment all influence it somewhat, but at it's core it's deeper than influence, it's a part of who you are, and sometimes who you are changes as time goes by. Yes, if all your friends like spicy food and you don't, you can still force yourself to eat it till you get used to it, but it's not the same as if you just used to hate it and have found that your tastes have changed without you noticing right away. I myself, loved eggs as a child, but one day I took a bite and it was suddenly something that tasted horrible, and it has been ever since for me. Nothing in my hormones, genes, or environment said that on that day I should suddenly hate the way eggs taste. Many other things are also similar, and scientifically unproven. Science still can't find a real reason for us to need sleep, they still can't figure out why we're conscious while a dead body will not come back to life when made scientifically the same as a living one (small electric current through the brain and everything). There's a lot of things we just take for granted about ourselves, things that no one can really find an answer to. We sleep because we're tired, but we don't know why we need sleep rather than just more water, nutrients, and air. But I can guarantee it's not just because all our friends are doing it.
2006-09-09 18:57:07 · answer #3 · answered by eri_mizawa 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Friends do have an influence on you, that’s why you choose them in the first place but that’s another subject.....
Tell you mother the alleged boyfriend was a lie, that you made it up to please her but that you can live your life pleasing her. Tell her that you are lesbian, that you are in love and that you have known this for a while but you felt she was not going to take it well. That you need her love and understanding.
Tell her that you started hanging out with your friends, precisely because you have that in common not because they are influencing you. That they listen to you and understand you because they went thru the same situation. Tell her that you want to be the one bragging with your friends about how open-minded and understanding your mom is.
2006-09-09 18:25:13 · answer #4 · answered by Quantum dream 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only time will fix that. Parents are usually pretty uninformed when it comes to those issues. Just back off and live your life. Give her time to deal with it. At your age, pushing the issue can only make things worse at this point. Being a young person, you have very few "rights" at this time so you'll have to lay low until such time comes that you can live your life as you see fit.
2006-09-09 18:07:48 · answer #5 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not really sure, but have you tried explaining that you have known how you feel about your sexuality since you were young? Maybe if she can see that is NOT a passing phase then she will be more accepting of the person you are. She should happy that you feel secure enough to come out to her! Not questioning the woman you have become.
2006-09-09 18:10:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yu know yor mother beder than me. But show her that an ordinary f-ck can't satisfy you. There is some time that you can show her a lot things just by a look or a passionate kiss to yor friend.
If she couldn't understand so keep yor way and represent yourself in way that she think yu'v changed.
2006-09-09 19:23:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I´m sorry to rain on your party, but everybody gets influence from everybody. The influence that you´ll get from the friends you mention might not change you dramatically, but people who do feel confortable with each other WILL experience some amount of mimetism. The only thing to know is how much mimetism will YOU allow to occur. That´s for you to judge and decide. In any case, I wish you luck! Honest!
2006-09-09 18:07:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
It's a battle not worth fighting. No matter what issues there are, you've got to live your life true to yourself in order to be happy. If family accepts it; fine. If they don't, that's fine too. You can't please everybody!
2006-09-09 20:41:29 · answer #9 · answered by Cub6265 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will take time - my advice is to stop engaing with your mom and let her go through her feelings about your sexuality
2006-09-12 05:34:27 · answer #10 · answered by suzi7693 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋