custody cases?

Question

ok here is whats going on ...i am a single mom of four teenaged boys ,well one just turned 18 and is graduating.whom i am very proud of i might add .
well i have been divorced 10 1/2 yrs i have custody well now he is trying to get them from me .
i will tell you what happened when i told my ex i wanted a divorce i also told him i am keeping the boys and i am going to go for support well i was young and dumb he turned around and told me he would give up his rights and never see his kids well i didnt want that kids need there father in there lives well he took them every other weekend no problems for 9 yrs we remained friends of course for the kids sake.well he got married a second time to a nice women got along with her she is great .well he left her after they had a son together and she was 5 months pregnant for another women well since this new gf come into our lives its been hell .she is trying to control everyone and telling myself and his soon to be 2 ex wife how to raise our children ,,she controls my ex and tells him what to say to both of us ...well anyway back to why i am scared ok april 25 th 2006 my ex came to the house to pick up our 16 yr old son he wanted to stay over his house the other boys stayed with me ..well our other son whom is gonna be 13 was coming down the street well my ex started on him ,see he sprained his ankle a couple of weeks before this his p.t. told him to start using it so he was well his father was like well it looks like your better your out jumping around and acting like a retard your acting as if you never hurt urself well my son got upset walked away from his dad came over to me to tell me about what his dad said all i know is next thing he has him over aganst a garage i couldnt see what was going on i assumed he was yelling at him from walking away till he went to leave my son was holding his throat that is when my other sons had told me he had him by the throat i said why didnt you say something i took my son into the house he was holding his throat and crying he couldnt breathe well my bf took him to the sink trying to splash cold water on his face to calm him down when my son coughed there was some blood in his spit he wanted me to have his dad arrested i couldnt do it cause i knew one day he would want to see his dad again so i told my son come on we are going to the doctors they took xrays he sprained our sons neck and gave him a contusion,well after that happened the two little ones didnt want togo over there so i wasnt gonna force them i told them when you are ready pick up the phone and call him i would never stop you from seein your father i did tell the gf what had happened and she said fathers do that to there children i said not to mine she said well he does it to my son to keep him in line i said well you can then ,but he is to never touch my sons again well he stopped my support of 50 aweek to nothin so i took him to domestics for support now he wants to sue me for custody.i am a full time mom ,i take them to all there appointments (dentist&doctors).i take care of them when there sick.i was with my son all the times he had surgery .i was here for my boys since birth ,here for them 24/7 they are my life.nothing comes before them . he wasnt always in there lives he has been in alot of different relationships were those women we more important then his boys ,well not me i have been with the same man for 10 yrs i lived on my own 9 of those yrs and raised my sons.still raising them doing the best i can .i go to school meetings i do everything i can to get the kids the help they need in school.i cant lose them they are my life. my world.everyone tells me not to worry about it i am a great mom and everyone knows it.my sister said tina it will come out that you have been there for your boys always. that you take great care of them ...see when i would call my ex and tell him all the help i get for my boys he tells me there is nothing wrong with them they need a foot up there **** .he would be like give them two me for a couple of weeks i ll straighten them out im like no thats ok .see he was abusive when i was married to him i know what that meant and i am still afraid of him till this day.

Answer 1

Wow! Breath in and breath out honey. Take another deep breath and let it out. Now, relax. That man doesn't have a shot in hell at taking those children. Nor can he stop the support. You have a well established family, he's been running from one relationship to the next. You are and have always been the primary caretaker, he's been in their lives when it suits him. And he's abusive, it's documented through the hospital, your children will admit this, and they are probably just as much afraid of this man as you are. I'm a social worker. I sit in on the cases after everyone meets with the guardian adlitem(kids attorney). I've seen this a hundred times. This man doesn't stand a chance. Your children are old enough where their testimony and desires are taken into consideration. The courts job is to look after the best interest of the child. It has little tolerance for parents that cause harm to their children. And you are perfectly within your right to keep them from him to protect them. However, I will advise you to file a petition for contempt on not paying child support as well as supervised visitation from now on. This incident happened at your house, I can only imagine what goes on at his. You're the mom, it's your job to protect those kids honey. As for the other girlfriend? I wouldn't even bother with her. Much like the others, she probably won't last. Keep your chin up, you are doing nothing wrong and should have no fear of losing your children.

God Bless!

Answer 2

Sorry to read about all these troubles.

1) Get a solicitor (lawyer - if you American)
2) It does not sound like he can have any power to gain custody at this stage based on "custom and practice."
3) Write down (in a more coherent fashion) the history above
4) You need to see someone about improving your self esteem (if you are still scared of ex)
5) Seek out mediation service
6) Remember that your children should have their wishes respected. You were wrong (in my opinion) to not call the police when your son had asked. He was assualted and should have had the opportunity to press charges. It would also have been a mark against your ex husband's claims.

You should be proud that you have brought up such good sons!

Good luck

Answer 3

he can't take your sons after so long in your custody.
plain and simple.
anyway, your sons are old enough to tell the court where they want to live. I don't believe they will choose the father.

Answer 4

For the love of God , learn how to compose a concise thought.