I went through a great deal while we were together those three short years. Her clothes are still in her dresser her wheelchair is still in the living room.Her dresses are still in the closet, I know that she is in a place freeof pain. That is all I wanted for her while she was with me. Please do not tell me to see a grief counsellor
2006-09-09 10:45:00 · 10 answers · asked by robert s 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Everyone is different and grieves differently. Don't listen to the people who tell you to get on with your life. They do not experienced what you are feeling. They are trying to comfort you and just don't know how. My experience, and it may not work for everyone, I need pictures around me, and things to remember the places we went and things we did. Those things make me smile. The first year I kept roses in a vase beside the pictures. The next year I could give away clothes, at least some of them.
I still have some clothes in the closet and I wear some of his things sometimes to comfort me. He is in my conversations quite a bit and my family is good at remembering things that he said or did too. Some people never talk of the person or are afraid to say anything because they don't know how you will react but if you let them know it is OK by doing it yourself they will find it easier.
When the time is right you will take the ring off and if that doesn't ever happen then there is nothing wrong with it either.
I know you said don't say it but going to a grief counselor can really help you thru the journey you have ahead of you so don't totally rule that out.
2006-09-09 11:06:05 · answer #1 · answered by Soaring Eagle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to hear that. You must have loved your wife very much, you can keep your ring on as a symbol of this love. Although your wife died, your love for her will never die. I cant say time will heal things, but they will change. If you never want to take your ring off, you never have to.
My father died when I was 12, his clothes were still in his cupboard months later, but then we decided to give them to charity as that is what my father would have wanted.
Don't feel bad, its not necessary for you to see a counsellor, if you want to keep all her things exactly as they were thats your choice. You may change your mind later and thats fine too.
2006-09-09 18:10:21 · answer #2 · answered by lakmii 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your time the hurt is still fresh. There is no hurry for you to remove that ring. time will heal. But you take all the time you need .. You will know when it's the right time. As far as her clothing. Have a close friend or family member help you remove it. When your not there. Everybody needs time to grieve. You will be alright. A friend of mine lost his wife, and it took 2 yrs to remove his ring and have a family member remove her belongings. So take the time you need. God bless you , you will be ok.
2006-09-09 18:00:17 · answer #3 · answered by HarleyMama43 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody deals with grief differently. Do whatever gets you through it. Besides who told you that you should take the ring off, if you don't want to then don't.
TC
2006-09-09 17:50:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, to her of your wife's death. She is in a much better place. A better place than what we are in. You really don't have to take it off. My mother went throw the same thing when my father passed she never did take off her ring. Time and pray will heal your soul.
2006-09-09 17:56:34 · answer #5 · answered by mothers finest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am soo sorry! my sister died 6 years ago and i still cry alot. u know life is not always fair but we have to deal with it. and move on. i know you loved her so much but think of what she wanted for you. to cry for her?! no. shes in a better place know.
2006-09-09 17:50:43 · answer #6 · answered by Loving 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is take ALL the time you need. When you are ready, if you are ever ready, than you will feel more at ease. Don't rush it. Just Know that it's okay.
2006-09-09 20:04:17 · answer #7 · answered by MMC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU WILL KNOW WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT. IT WILL NEVER FEEL TOTALLY OK BUT NOT AS BAD A NOW, TAKE YOUR TIME TO HEAL. IM SORRY.
2006-09-09 17:50:35 · answer #8 · answered by openminded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deal with it on your own terms. You'll get past it when your ready.
2006-09-09 17:48:47 · answer #9 · answered by roman_ninja 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
keep it on as long as it takes for you to come to grips with her death , then when u are ready you will know
2006-09-09 17:48:32 · answer #10 · answered by jojo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋