ok, i just told my exbf that i cant talk to him for a while.. after he lied to me about a lot of things in our relationship and did a lot of BAD things. i told him i need time and space to figure everything out..
heres the thing.. i dont know what exactly i need to do in the mean time to "find myself" and "get a new sense of self".. i have time and space.. but i dont know what to do with it!!
how do i find myself in this time?
2006-09-09 08:59:13 · 20 answers · asked by mervelash 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well what your looking for and i have seen it, and your boyfriend doesn't have, is that of respect, and like you said lots of bad thing, done, where is the respect for you, enjoy finding it,
2006-09-09 09:02:49 · answer #1 · answered by free2chat_tou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey - you are finally free from that pig. Have you tried watercolor painting, or writing? If it was a really crappy relationship maybe there's a novel in there. Do you play a musical instrument? Maybe it's time to buy a guitar and learn how to play it.
My point is that this is time you can take for yourself. Finding yourself is such a loaded term - I have some news for you - you will never find yourself, so you can relax, you were never lost.
Embrace some kind of creative venture - where you are responsible. Write a poem or a song; who cares if it isn't that good? It came from you so it's the best ever.
And if you find something like that you can get into it deeper and deeper and explore your creativity and how you relate to the world, how the world relates to you.
Good luck and one final thing - don't take him back, he'll never change - promise.
FP
2006-09-09 09:04:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it's a good start with you wanting to do something... coping.org has a lot of great tools for personal growth.. i use it all the time when i have a promple or just tryin gto find myself!
it's a lot of reading thinking and wrighting but if it's what you want youll check it out! it's free and asks deep questions some are hard to answer but the more you think about it the more you learn about yourself...
Well good luck!
Mad luv
2006-09-09 09:02:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this. Can you think of your boyfriend and feel good? Or the thought of him makes you want to lash out and make him pay like the dog he is? ......The way you think of him is what is going to tell you if there has been enough time. You may want to move on. There is no shame in that either. How can you ever trust someone again who has lied to you? I think he is the one who needs to be doing the soul searching, not you. He is the one with problem, not you.
2006-09-09 09:04:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of things that interest you. Take up a different hobby. Do some community service; volunteer to aid at an elderly care home. Perhaps at a local animal pound. Things of a different nature that don't remind you of the ex bf. You will find you when it's time.
Good luck and keep your chin up.
2006-09-09 09:02:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just see how u feel now that u guys arent together... and then think about it. r u relieved, and happy? or depressed and bored? reevaulate how serious u wnat to be with him and maybe even try dating other people a bit. just to see wut it is like. if u feel guilty ull know u still have feeling for him. also, before getting back together if u choose to do so, have a little chat with him. let him know that wutever he did was wrong and that u may still not completely trust him. but that u r willing to give him a 2nd chance. and set some boundaries up for the 2 of u
2006-09-09 09:03:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't going to, you used a trite cliche to bomb your boyfriend over. That means you really don't want to be around him. The time away just makes you want him less...this is a sign to any guy that the other person has lost interest and is an easy way of letting him down. Guys can be jerks, and the road goes both ways.
2006-09-09 09:03:20 · answer #7 · answered by tyrol210 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just need to do some soul rearching. you need to figure out the person that you were before meeting your bf, how you have changed and if the change is for the good or bad. ask your friends and family for their honest input and then sit down and write things down about yourself and your life and how you can improve yourself. you need to go out with friends and do the things that you once did and made you happy as a person.
2006-09-09 09:05:29 · answer #8 · answered by icycrissy27blue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do all the things that YOU like to do, whether it be shopping, fishing, watching movies, etc. Spend quality time with YOURSELF and don't let anyone else interfere with that quality time, unless you feel up to it. Explore yourself, examine your thoughts, and figure out what your values, dreams, and goals are. Get truly acquainted with yourself cause after all YOU are the only one that truly knows what is in your heart. Above all else, love yourself.
2006-09-09 09:08:59 · answer #9 · answered by tx proud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
relax treat yourselves to different things and maybe find a new bf i know it will be really hard to get over what the last guy did to you but you need to move on and there are tons of guys that are not jerks and do bad things like he did
2006-09-09 09:49:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried looking under the bed? How about in the closet? Self, self, self. Where could you be? Self, self, self. Come back self! Sorry. I need to get off this comp.
2006-09-09 09:04:07 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋