I'm 15, my best friend's 14. I'm straight, he's gay. I've known for about 2 years, and I really don't mind, though at first he thought I'd never want to talk to hi again or something.
However, He's decided he wants to come out of the closet fully and tell his parents. So far, he's only told me and one of our other friends. I'm worried, and I'm not sure whether it's a good idea for him to tell them. I think they'd freak. I don't want him to put himself in a really bad position or get himself thrown out or soemthing.
I know many of you will say he's too young to be gay or something, but he's not, he seems to have know for quite a while, since well before I knew.
I know maybe I should just leave it as it's not all that much to do with me, but I think he should hold of for a while, at least until we know how his parents might react. Not sure what to do, and I don't think he's all that sure how to go about this either. Please help.
2006-09-09 08:55:18 · 14 answers · asked by StephenD 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Sorry; corrections! I mistyped the ages, I'm 14, he's 15, and I'm a guy by the way, not a lesbian girl as some people suggested!
And of course, i just asked because I want what's best for him, if telling them is the right thing to do I'll be right behind him, but if he's making a huge mistake i want to make sure he doesn't.
2006-09-09 09:07:51 · update #1
And yes, they might disown him sweetgal, that's exactly what I fear. This is little old catholic ireland I'm talking about here! They are quite tight, for example, his sister, who's my age, had exams in une, the results are out next week, and they had told here this time LAST YEAR that she wouldn't be allowed to go out celebrating, not even for a meal in a restaurant with her friends. That's how strict they are.
2006-09-09 09:17:40 · update #2
coming out can be a very liberating experience - at any age! I'm straight, but i have seen first hand what can happen when someone comes out. maybe make a few "random" comments about homosexuals around his parents and pose a few questions - acting like "you don't know what to think about the whole situation" and you want their advice. encourage your friend to do the same. i don't think you should leave it alone as you said. he's your best friend and if things go down badly - he's gonna need you more than you'll ever know! what a great friend you are! know that ,because he is 14 , he might not be taken seriously. all you can do is be a good friend and stand by his side whatever he decides to do. good luck!
2006-09-09 09:13:28 · answer #1 · answered by freezingcactus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's going to have to tell his parents sooner or later. I'm sure he doesn't want to go on living a lie. Some people are more receptive to hearing "bombshells" from their children than others are. Does he have any other relatives that he can talk to before his parents? Maybe they can help him gauge his parents' reaction. It's going to be like telling your parents that you're pregnant, he's just gonna have to do it. Fourteen might not be a good age yet, but it's up to him.
If I were him I'd wait until I was a couple of years older so that if I did get booted out of the house I'd be able to support myself by getting a job and a car. I think that would make life a bit easier, but that's just me. Good luck to him. =)
2006-09-09 09:02:35 · answer #2 · answered by jenpeden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If his parent's don't approve, then they aren't the best parents. You can't make someone staight. That is their emotion's. You can't change the way your heart says to go. You have every right to be worried for him. You are his best friend and you only want what's best for him. You have to let him know he has your approval. You have to back him up 100%. You wouldn't be a very good friend if you didn't. Parent's are there to help their children through life and try to make it a little easier. They shouldn't do anything but support their son. But, however, it is possible they won't. Let him come out!
2006-09-09 09:04:20 · answer #3 · answered by otter7 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's ready to tell his parents.... than he should. No sense in prolonging the inevitable. If they freak out... it will be sooner than later. If he's sure he's gay... than it's the right thing for him to do.
Your advice to him should be nothing more than "Do what feels right in your gut". Be supportive of his decisions and be there when he needs a shoulder...
2006-09-09 09:01:37 · answer #4 · answered by VixenMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The decision to talk to his parents is completely up to him. You, as his best friend, need to be there to support him. That's all you can do.
2006-09-09 08:59:47 · answer #5 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it is for the best if he tells them as soon as possible. so he can live his life the way he wants and not worrying he gonna get caught out
2006-09-09 09:44:00 · answer #6 · answered by rosie2oo6 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he should come out because his parents should love him the way he is and if they werer good parents the wouldnot care. but it might be getting sonthing they need to get usted to or understand.
2006-09-09 08:59:21 · answer #7 · answered by tink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its his choice. if he wants to come out support him. they may be upset but they may have an idea too. just be a friend and support him either way
2006-09-09 09:00:02 · answer #8 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's his problem, he has to deal with it. Just leave it alone is the best way to deal with it.
2006-09-09 09:08:53 · answer #9 · answered by Dang Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's a good idea to tell his parents
2006-09-09 23:12:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋