my neighbour is a single mum and has a 2 year old and a 2 month old and all i seem to hear throuh the wall is shouting, crying and the sound of things breaking. everytime i see them there always brused and cut and she has already has a kid in foster care im wworried about the babies what should i do i dont want her to think im judging her.
2006-09-09 08:46:37 · 51 answers · asked by girlsrule137 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
If you are that concerned....why have you not reported it......you can do it annonymously.......
have you ever thought of talking to the neighbor......it can be very stressfull to be a single mom....maybe she could use an hour to herself.....take the kids off her hands for a little while.....
2006-09-09 08:54:29 · answer #1 · answered by *Chick*Norris* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So many children get brutally hurt and sometimes even killed as a result of society 'turning a blind eye'. I have seen cases where a child has been taken into care after it has been revealed that he/she has suffered a long period of abuse and what hacks me off is when i hear people say 'i knew she would get that kid taken off her in the end, she's always beatin that kid'. It makes me want to shout 'THEN WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT RATHER THAN KNOW THAT THE KID WAS BEING BEATEN FOR THE TIME IT HAD'. Social services are not stupid, if the kids are suffering abuse then they will know. Do those kids a favour, make the call and help them out of that hell hole. If it sounds bad to you through a wall then imagine how the kids feel when it's in their ears. Good Luck.
2006-09-09 09:02:59 · answer #2 · answered by DONNAIS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has already taken had a kid taken from her then she would have been placed on the at risk register anyway which means that they should be doing regular checks on her children. If you are sure that she is abusing her children then report her. Chances are that she is suffereing for Baby Blues especially as she only had one 2 months ago. There could be a vaild reason for that noise but its better that it is checked out especially if the babies have cuts and bruises. If you get on with her maybe take a visit round there and see how she is coping chances are that she gets no time to herself. Maybe offer to watch the kids for hour while she has a bath or visits a neighbour.
2006-09-09 09:00:49 · answer #3 · answered by gaulde 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the answers here suggest reporting her, and I agree. But understand that this is a delicate situation as you suspect and it can be a difficult thing to do.
What she will think she will think. You can't help that. She probably will think you are judging. Most abusers like this do not consider themselves to be doing anything wrong.
I would suggest an anonymous call to the child protection people of your country. If in the UK then Childline can be helpful. Here we also have the ability to give anonymous calls to the social services. However, they are less likely to act on an anonymous call then one where you give your name.
They are stretched for staff and resources and so they are not always willing to follow up on anonymous calls as they do get hoax calls and calls from people who are simply trying to cause trouble for others.
As for judging. You are, so I suggest you make peace with that. However, you are not judging with evil intent. You are concerned for the children. That I consider as good judgement, and I'm sure others on here would agree.
What matters here is not what others think, but those children and their best interests. I have seen first hand the results of child abuse. Physical, mental, emotional and sexual. Let me tell you, it is not a thing to allow to continue. The victims do suffer and they need a voice.
If you are ready to be the voice for these children then by all means do so. Please. We need to care for those who cannot defend themselves.
So make that call, and know in your heart it is the right thing no matter what the mother says or thinks.
2006-09-09 12:03:05 · answer #4 · answered by ManoGod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just report her to your local 'Department of Family and Children's Services', (DFACS). You can make an anonymous phone call. If you call the police first, you will have to reveal who you are. So you choose which would you rather remain, 'Known or Unknown'.
If you call DFACS, they will be the ones that get the police involved. If abuse is present the police will place the children in the care of the state until relatives step up or placed the children in foster care, until foster parents are found, if they can be found.
You are judging nothing. It will be the authorities position to make that decision.
If this woman is violent, and you go over to her house, she may attack you. She may tell you that you are interfering in business that is not your own. In addition, if you do go over there & it goes badly, then afterwards you decide to call someone, she's going to know that it was you that called either DFACS or the police. So the best bet is to just make the call first.
Think of it this way, if you don't make the call & let say, one of the children are seriously hurt or even killed, will you be able to live with your decision of not 'atleast' making the discreet phone call? ~Prophetess
2006-09-09 08:50:50 · answer #5 · answered by prophetessqueen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To put ur mind at ease make a call to social services. If shes a single mum of a 2year old and 2mth old she maybe just tired and stressed and thats why shes losing her temper and shouting. Also, children at 2years get up to and touch all kinds of things and are curious and adventurous so maybe that could explain the bruises and the smashing noises....hence the shouting after it! Maybe she just needs a little time and help to adjust to having 2demandin children.
2006-09-09 08:57:33 · answer #6 · answered by Lou 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a very kind, good person to be worried about the precious little children who can not defend themselves. When you hear this comotion, just go over and ask if she needs help. YOU need to make sure she is not being mean to the children. PLEASE do not let this go. If she has a child in Foster care then PLEASE get some help for the other two. You are a true child of God with a good soul. But you have to go further then to worry about you being Judged. No one will Judge you for worriing about two helpless children . It says: Suffer Not The Little Children, to come Unto Me. For such is the Kingdom of Heaven. Any one who abuse these Little Ones, will stand before God and answer to him, severely. Get Help right away. You will never forgive yourself, if they are killed and the sadness you would contain, to stand near their little coffins. I will pray for the children and Mother. Probably the Mother needs Help ! Go offer to Help her. Or if she has family that you know of , ask them to help. If worse gets to worse, Call the Police Dept. They will know what to do. Just Do Something. Please.
2006-09-09 08:58:18 · answer #7 · answered by Norskeyenta 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If one of her kids is already in foster care-ask yourself why? She obviousley couldnt take care of him/her and it doesnt seem like she can cope with her other two children either.
Why people have children they cant look after themsleves is besides me!! It is totally iresponsible and a waste of tax payers money.
You arent jugding her but are being sensile about what you have heard and seen and like any other normal hamn being you are concerned over her actions as a mother!
I would suggest to contact the social services in your area AS SOON as you can. Look on the internet for social services near you.
If you ever feel that it is serious and needs immediate attention, then simply call the police. You can ask to remain annonomous, so that your neighbour wont know that it was you who reported her.
Pyschical violence of any kind is extremely dangerous for children-especialley young children. As a child i was abused in the same way, and it has effected me still in early adulthood.
This mother is either too unwell/ill/depressed or just plain sick in the head to look after the children herself, so report her as soon as you can, and gather as much evidence as you can;
Are their any witnesses etc? Are there current bruises on the children to date etc? have you witnessed her hitting them or being vuiolent/agressive to them?
Go to the social services immediately and thats my final word!
Good luck! x
2006-09-09 09:58:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the police or social services. You can make the call anonymously and you just might be saving lives. Do not feel guilty or self-concious, you are trying to speak for children who cannot speak for themselves. Good luck!
2006-09-09 09:01:10 · answer #9 · answered by bzbsme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to contact the social work dept at once. There is too many children out there being unnoticed because people don't want to get involved. It can be totally confidential. I am a foster carer and see to many cases that have been left too long. Please report it xx
2006-09-09 08:51:21 · answer #10 · answered by helenapuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋