what is an appropriate age to get engaged?

Question

my boyfriend is 18 and i am 20. we are both in college and have known each other for two and a half years and have been dating for a year and a half. we both want to get married so badly, but we know that it isn't responsible to do so before we are done with college and have solid careers. however, we would like to get engaged in the near future-- to show our commitment and intentions to each other, our families, friends, and God. we would like to get engaged within the next 6 months (but wait to get married for at another 3 to 4 years), but we are just worried if that's too young, or if we should date longer than 2 years before getting engaged. any comments, suggestions or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated!! thanks!! :-D

Answer 1

I was in a similar sitiuation. My advice, is have him go on ahead and ask your parents for their blessing, stressing that the marriage wouldn't be for at least another year or so (waiting untill you've gradauted college is a lofty goal, and if you think its right, make it for the year before you graduate.) Once you tell everyone, be prepared for some negative feedback...but as long as you have trust and faith in each other, it shouldn't matter. Circumstance and maturity means allot more then how old you are...remember that. Also, careers isn't all that they are cracked up to be - if you can afford a wedding before you get settled, then go for it. Experiencing a little hardship will only make you stronger, and teach you how to use money wisely in the future.

If you need inspiration, here is my story...


I met my fiancee' the day we were born, he was put in the crib next to mine, our parents discovered we lived minutes apart, and from that moment on, were joined-to-the-hip; instant best friends. Always at each others houses, always on the phone, always together - people use to make fun of us and tell us we were going to get married one day, and we would deny it, saying we were 'just friends'. Both of us were homeschooled, so we were constantly doing schoolwork together at our houses, and going on feild trips sitting side my side in our mothers mini-vans. I've had poor health all my life, and when I was 10, I was in the hospital...for like, the 20th time. Whenever I was there, he would be worried sick and insist on seeing me, so my parents would tell nurses he was my brother, because he was too young to visit me otherwise. He told me when we were alone in the room that he was going to take care of me the rest of our lives, because I was his best friend and he never wanted to loose me, he kissed me on the forehead, and whispered that he loved me. We planned our weddings out at 12, I was going to be his best woman, and him, my man of honor. We were going to move into a duplex house, and if our signifigant others didn't like it, then they weren't the ones for us. We stayed 'just friends' for another year, at which point things began to change noticably. I had had a crush on him for what seemed like forever, but was too afraid to tell him, because he was my best friend. So I kept quiet, and watched as other girls flirted with him and my heart broke. But whenever I would ask him if he liked any of them, he would always tell me no. One night, we went to a play together, and we held hands without realizing it...I started to wonder...could he maybe like me back? But I was too afraid to ask him, so I kept waiting and waiting for him to bring it up, and say that he meant in just a friendship way. However, a week later, he called me up as usual at night for our 3 hour long conversation (our parents gave us our own phone lines, just so we would stop tying up theirs), and told me that he had something important to tell me, and when he was finished, he was going to hang up the phone and call me back in an half hour. Immediatly, my heart started to pound...I hoped it was what I thought it was, but feared that it was that he had decided to go out with another girl. He admitted that he had fallen in love with me and hung up. I was overjoyed to the point were I ran around the house laughing hysterically and doing cartwheels, my parents thinking I was nuts. When he called me up, we discussed - very anlytically, may I ad - getting together, and decided to follow our hearts in the matter. We always talked about marriage and having kids after that point. We had our first kiss a couple months later on top of a ferris wheel, had our first make-out not too long after that, lol. He proposed to me at 14 in a love letter (we have over 400 inbetween both of us in a 4 1/2 year span), gave me a diamond ring at 16, and a few weeks after we turned 18, officially asked my parents for their blessing in marriage. We're getting married next Autumn a few weeks after we turn 19...and have never been closer or more in tune with each other.

Answer 2

I never heard of any age requirements for an engagement, as far as being mature, I feel you are very mature, just by reading your question i can tell you both have a good out look for your future and making the right plans.
Bravo to you for not rushing into a marriage and jeopardizing you futures, an engagement will show your commitment to one another and will define your intent for a future wedding, thus, in itself have people inquire into the up coming nuptials, which YOU will answer.... and leave them with no room for speculation.
Congratulations to you both!!
I hope I answered this correctly and I wish you both all the joy and happiness that comes with an engagement and may you have a blessed marriage when you do take that final step:)

Answer 3

After you've been in a relationship for 2 years minimum and when you're certain you are ready to settle down and start a family and that you both want the same things. I'm not sure of you can really say a particular age but i assume no younger than 20

Answer 4

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RE:
what is an appropriate age to get engaged?
my boyfriend is 18 and i am 20. we are both in college and have known each other for two and a half years and have been dating for a year and a half. we both want to get married so badly, but we know that it isn't responsible to do so before we are done with college and have solid careers....

Answer 5

you may not be to long for an engagement, but if you are worried about what others will think start with a promise ring. that will show you are committed and plan to engaged in the future. wait a year or so then move to the engagement ring. If you know you are not going to marry soon let others get used to the commitment for each other in small steps

Answer 6

the best age is when you are in love. that's all. you are both over 18 and obviously giving all this a lot of thought so thats very responsible. engagement and marriage all show love and if you feel that you are in love and want to be forever, then you have just reached the best age!

Answer 7

I know couples that got married before finishing college! They went on to finish... and become very successful! It really depends on YOU...

It is ok to get engaged and married when you both feel ready! I've learned there is never a right time for anything!! There is definately no magic time frame to life! What works for one person may not work for another! I made some questionable decisions... but they were right for me... and I couldn't be happier!! You only live life once... ENJOY IT!!! :) And sometimes we make mistakes... but that is OK! Just follow your heart...!!! ;)

Answer 8

if you and your boyfriend feel ready to take the next step you should get engaged i got engaged when i was 18 and my partner was 21 believe it or not when we got engaged we felt closer but ensure you discuss with each other that it would be a long engagement and explain this to your family and friends to ensure you can take things at your own pace and you are not rushed into anything by family and friends trying to rush your relationship along

Answer 9

18-21

Answer 10

What i can say is to take your time and enjoy life. Travel and don't be in a rush to get married. I have known of people living together for twenty years and once they get married the man have change.

The woman he adored, he is now saying all kinds of things about her. Take your time as you both are young and people do change over time.

Answer 11

You can always get engaged and have along engagement. Sounds good to do it that way, why wait.