Who can write a humouress or amusing limerick such as this...?

Question

A fashionable lady named Pat
Was smiling beneath a new hat
Turned her nose up at fans
Fell over some cans
And sat her new classy hat flat!

please rate mine and other responses!

wow Insomnia! is that original? rocks!

emo - macabre, but catchy...

GLH - that is SO not original! plaguerer!!! *wink*

had another idea for one, what do you think?
There was once a man who had gas
And one day he cried "oh Alas!"
he had swollen right up
Till one heard a loud "pop!"
as the gas, spurt en masse, from his a*s!

HUMOROUS!!! (SORRY - how embarrassing)

Answer 1

mary had a little lamb

it climbed onto a pylon

20.000 volts shot up its a-s-s

and turned its wool to nylon

Answer 2

Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
Jill forgot to take the pill,
And came down with a daughter.

The cat crept in
Crapped
Then crept out again.

The Boy stood on the burning deck
His A.r.s.e against the mast
he dare not move another inch
until bummer joe had passed,
now bummer joe,the crafty bugger,
he tossed the lad a kipper,
the lad bent down to pick it up,
and ooh up his shitter.

Answer 3

There was a young lady from Paris
Who had a huge rash round her "harris"
She saw her G.P.
Who asked her to wee
And now he can't talk, ...burnt larynx!

hmmm, another...

There once was a man built a boat
"Unsinkable", the ill-assured quote
She clipped an ice-berg
And sank like a 't u r d'
He now lives in Nepal, as a goat.

Answer 4

There was a man called Paul
who went to a fancy-dress ball
He said "I'll risk it
and go as a biscuit"
But a dog ate him up in the hall

Me? plaguerism? never...!!! which film was that one in?

There was a girl called Jill
who tried dynamite for a thrill
They found her v a g i n a
in North Carolina
and bits of her t i t s in Brazil

(First saw that one in a student magazine in 1977)

For those who appreciate fine art:-

Whilst Titian was mixing rose madder
his model reclined on a ladder
her position to Titian
suggested coition
So he rushed up the ladder and 'ad 'er

Answer 5

One that I made for fun:
There was a young chica from Cuba
Who got bored so moved to Aruba
Where she worked as a whore
For two guilders or more
While blowing away on a tuba

Another that I made for fun and to report the news in my newsblog:
There once was a bloke called Dave Irving
Whose conviction was most well deserving
He persistantly lied
'bout how Jews and gays died
And will spend three years with Vienna's most disturbing

Answer 6

There was a young man named phil,
He didn't like taking his pill's,
One day he took five,
but he still couldn't jive,
and his doctor still sent him the bill!


There was a young woman named Babs,
she caught a bad case of the crabs,
her boyfriend was shocked,
he thought he had the pox,
but his willie was covered in scabs...
ttfn ;o)

Answer 7

A wonderful bird is the Pelican,
His beak can hold more than his belly-can.
He can keep in his beak enough fish for a week,
Though I'm damned if I see how the Hell he can!

There once was a young man named Phil,
Who swallowed an atomic pill,
His vital-est organ was found in Glamorgan,
His B******s turned up in Brazil!

Answer 8

There once was a man in Peru.
He dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up with a fright
In the middle of the night
To find that his dream had come true.

LOL i got this from spongebob. (gary said this)

Answer 9

There was a young woman who felt odd
As she wanted a child from God
But it wasn't the Almighty
Who crept up her nightie
It was the vicar the dirty old sod.

Answer 10

a young man with passions quite gingery,
tore a hole in his sisters lingerie;
he slapped her behind
and made up his mind
to add incest to insult and injury.

anon.