I asked this question yesterday, but I still need help!
Over the past two yrs I have developed a shyness where I ignore people who aren't my friends not because I don't like them but because I don't want to embarrass myself or something....I don't smile at my classmates unless I know them personally... if I make eye contact within someone I'm not friends with I automatically assume the person doesn't like me and I cut my eyes away from them...I'm sure people think I'm a ***** or a snot, but I'm rly not...its just that I've developed this shyness I guess and I start to act conceited.. idk how to be natural anymore...I used to be so nice and now I'm mean & rude to ppl even though inside I do want to know them...I'm not like a loser or anything, I just have this weird shyness that's hard to get rid of...
What should I do???
Thanks so much...
2006-09-09 07:37:11 · 6 answers · asked by newyorkrose9 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I have friends and stuff, and I think I have a nice personality...I love laughing & going out with my friends...but around other ppl I get so uptight...I think everyone else thinks they're better than me and it pisses me off, so I guess my shutting myself off from those ppl who I think look down on me, I think it keeps them from thinking their better than me or something.....wow that's unhealthy... :-/
2006-09-09 08:05:36 · update #1
There are times in our lives when withdrawing from our social obligations and taking some time to be alone is necessary to rejuvenate our energy and renew our connection to ourselves. However, there are also times when withdrawal is a red flag, indicating an underlying sense of depression or some other problem. We may not even have consciously decided to isolate ourselves but wake up one day to find that we have been spending most of our time alone. Perhaps it's been a long time since friends who used to call have given up. Without anyone inviting us out, we sink deeper into alienation.
The longer our isolation lasts, the harder it becomes to reach out to people. It is as if we have failed to exercise a particular muscle, and now it is so weak we don't know how to use it. Yet, in order to return to a healthy, balanced state of being, that's exactly what we need to do. If you find yourself in this situation, call an understanding friend who will listen to you with compassion, not a defensive friend who may have taken your withdrawal personally. The last thing you need is to be chided; a negative response could intensity your isolation. If you don't have a kind friend you can rely on, call a spiritual counselor or therapist. They may be able to help you determine the underlying cause of your isolation and help you find your way out of it.
When you've been in a pattern of secluding yourself, it can begin to seem impossible that you could reenter the world of friendships, conversations, and group activities, but with time, you will. Most people will understand if you take the time to explain that you've fallen out of touch and would like to reconnect. Take your time and be gentle with yourself, starting with one person and building from there. Try to reach out to one new person every week. Before you know it, you will find yourself back in the company of friends.
2006-09-09 07:55:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When someone make eye contact with you, just smile, don't look at the negative, don't assume they don't like you. There is no harm in speaking or acknowledging that person. I don't think it is a shyness problem you have but more of a block wall and you do not want anyone in, for fear of rejection. You need to realize everyone is not the same and they are all not to hurt you. So they next time some one looks in your direction or attempt to start a conversation with you, just smile and start talking.
2006-09-09 07:43:30 · answer #2 · answered by Brezzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be the same way until one day this girl made me laugh. She was able to notice my smile and eyes. Something I didnt do often. She said I should laugh more because it brings out a side in me she liked. I relaxed, and ever since have felt better and more open about myself.(That girl is now my girlfriend). Just relax and pay attention to what makes you feel better. Youll forget about the whole thing after awhile.(Youll find your true friends). Dont get distracted from whats really important, happieness!
2006-09-09 07:52:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry too much im like that it takes a while for me to get to know people and i can come across rude when im not im just a little shy. You know your doing it thats a good thing maybe try and smile a bit more so they know your not bieng funny. Dont worry about it honey
2006-09-09 07:41:09 · answer #4 · answered by dizzymooo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like "Social Anxiety Disorder". Talk to your doctor. There's medication for this sort of thing.
2006-09-09 07:41:47 · answer #5 · answered by Mom of One in Wisconsin 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
try 2 interact wih people u know..........
2006-09-09 07:47:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋