i was dating him for 3 months when i felt something just wasnt right so after doing my own pi work i discovered he was married with two kids.. I feel for his wife. Is it wrong to tell her? if i were her id want to know..
2006-09-09 07:07:48 · 28 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, yes, yes. Tell her. I wish that somebody had told me when my ex was cheating. I could have avoided a lot of misery. When you know, but stay silent, you actually become part of the problem. Tell.
2006-09-09 08:38:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was such a woman. I got a phone call where a woman told me specific details and after some investigating of my own, found out that what the caller had said was true. I felt like the sky had fallen on my head and that I'd never recover. Well, I may not be the same woman after the experience but I divorced him and I am sooooo much happier. Having to deal with my x's betrayal (we were married for 15 years, 2 kids, I thought we were still in love...) was unbearably painul but I'm glad that I got woken up from the cloud of numbness I'd been walking in. I'm with someone else that loves me and makes me truly happy now. I'm thankful to that caller. Please tell this woman and save her from more years of deceit. If she chooses to stay with him, then at least she'll KNOW what she is choosing.
2006-09-09 07:28:21 · answer #2 · answered by SaraG 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You really should tell her and this would not make you a home wrecker at all since you didn't know he was married. He is not much of a man if he is cheating on his wife and risking loosing her and his children.. I would call her and tell her everything she really does have the right to know and if you know any details on any birthmarks on his body that would be something you could tell her since no other woman should about things like that and then she would know for sure that you are telling the truth.. If he has cheated with you on his wife then you are most likely not the first one and you should get checked also for S.T.D's I really feel bad for you and his wife. Good luck...
2006-09-09 08:05:24 · answer #3 · answered by lisa_sonydadc 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First I want to say sorry for the crap you've had to deal with. Why people do this is beyond me. If you want to date, STAY SINGLE! I ABSOLUTELY believe you should tell his wife. She may not believe you, and I would not do it in person, but I would call her or send her a letter. It would be best if you had some kind of proof, because he is going to lie about it until the end. Now that you know and are done with him, I'm sure he will be moving on to his next affair. His wife has a right to know what he is doing. In a world of STD'S that kill, it isn't fair for her not to know what kind of man she is married to. I feel bad for her and her children too. Heaven forbid he has a son that he is teaching this behaivor too, and even a daughter that could learn a woman has to accept this kind of behaivor. Be strong, be smart, and don't hold this against all men. And PLEASE, don't listen to anyone who tells you not to do it because you will be considered a homewrecker! You did not know he was a married man, HE IS THE HOMEWRECKER! NOT YOU!!! Good luck!
2006-09-09 07:14:56 · answer #4 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Telling her will not make the past go away.. What has happened is done... Will it make a difference in your life to tell her? NO... Make you feel better ? Maybe for a short time.. But in the end you will feel bad about her and what she feels and what she is going through... Will she beleive you....Maybe.. Maybe not... A woman knows when something is not right in her marriage.. We may not want to beleive it.. But we know....Hearing it does not make it any better... You will only feel like worse about your self if you tell her... You choose to be with him.. Granted you may have not known he was married... But since you have found out.. AND if you have stopped seeing him.. Then you have solved the problem... Let it be.. Go on with your life.... Don't try to make two wrongs a right............ Peace be with you........
2006-09-10 05:13:16 · answer #5 · answered by levita45 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me if you felt something just wasn´t right, she can sense the same thing if she is ready to do something about. Otherwise she may be choosing not see what is there. As they say ignorance is bliss. If she is ready to face the truth she will not believe you anyhow and she may not be strong enough to face up to it. I would stay out of it. I wouldn´t want a family break up on my conscience.
2006-09-09 07:42:46 · answer #6 · answered by forallitsworth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just dump him and let it go. Its his mistake/problem. Although you were made to believe differently, I would suggest to let it go. No use in screwing up some innocent lives here. He will mess up one day and she will find out in due time. I understand how you feel, however ask yourself this.... are you wanting to tell her out of revenge.. or for the sake of being a good samaritian? If its revenge, revenge will only make you feel good for a short time. Good PI work!!!
2006-09-09 07:53:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he has cheated on her once he has likely cheated on her many times...
If you feel she must know drop her a short letter explain who you are and that you dated her husband for 3 months prior to finding out he was married, apologize to her for inadvertantly dating her husband and explain that you broke it off immediately upon finding out about her and her children.. Explain that you understand she is probably going to be very upset and give her an easy way to reach you if she has further questions (e-mail address or cell phone number) not your home address or home phone as you are not sure how exactly she will react to the news...
Yes she does need to know, as you are probably not the first or last woman he will cheat on her with....
2006-09-09 07:46:02 · answer #8 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let it be. Tell him where to get off but stay away from his wife. You might land up with law suits against you. I understand that you feel for his wife- I do too_ but let him rather destroy his own marriage than you landing in court for doing it.
2006-09-09 08:37:42 · answer #9 · answered by robsnor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated several men when I was in the Army, that I found out later were married with kids. It made me so mad. She has a right to know, but I bet she already has some idea that he is cheating.
Stay away from this pig!
2006-09-09 07:31:57 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋