I dated a girl named Megan Willis back in 98-00, we were in high school. Its been quite some time since we broke up. I've been in many relationships since then, and am married and have a 10 month old son. But to this day, I still think about Megan. I worry if shes ok, I stress to think that she might be married or have kids by now. I don't know why this bothers me. I almost feel as if I still love her. I've been looking for her number or e-mail address just to see how shes doing, I don't plan on leaving my wife or cheating. But I do miss her greatly. I know she lives in Georgia somewhere. I live in Mobile, Alabama and always have. If you know her could you let me know? And what do I do? Why do I still think about her all the time?
I have hashed and rehashed this question, and the most common answer I get on here is to forget about her and concentrate on my marriage. I am not concerned for my marriage, my love for my wife is unwavering.
2006-09-09 06:03:53 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
But the thought of forgetting about megan and putting her behind me hurts, almost physically. I'm not even sure if she ever thinks about me, Im sure she does occassionally, but I have no idea how she feels. I am not looking to hook up with her. I just want to know what shes doing these days, I want to know shes ok and happy. She is bi-polar and very emotionally fragile and used to cut herself. Perhaps I feel I still need to protect her? I don't know, I just know this feeling to reach her is suddenly very powerful.
2006-09-09 06:08:04 · update #1
You might not believe in this, but it sounds like you have karma with Megan. Maybe you should look her up and send her a letter just to catch up?
2006-09-09 06:06:04 · answer #1 · answered by Blackadder 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this again, but hear me out. You do need to focus on your relationship with your wife. What if you just happen to bump in to Megan and all these feelings that you have for her pure out. You may not intend to cheat on your wife. But it may happened especially if Megan still feels just a an ounce of what you are feeling. Sometimes it is best to leave the past behind, they can sometimes create more problems that you need. So I think the panelists were all correct in telling you to forget about her, because you are still madly in love with her especially when you are still jealous if she has moved on it is 2006 now and you are acting as if your break up with her was yesterday.
You really need to reevaluate some things and think about the possible meeting that could happen one day and do you think your wife appreciates the feelings and thoughts that you have for another woman. What would you do if your wife had these same feelings that you have for this woman for another man?
Be honest with yourself, it will help you in the long run...
2006-09-09 06:17:07 · answer #2 · answered by sweetcincylove 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes,moving on doesn't exactly mean 'forgetting the person'. it just means that you have to cope with change. i guess you have been able to cope with change, having been married with a son.
your feelings for your high school sweetheart are understandable. sometimes, i wonder if we only love once. or whether we can love two people at the same time. eventually, the love of your life may not be the one sleeping in your bed but she exists elsewhere nonetheless.
why do you think of her always? she has left a great impact on your life, obviously, and it's funny how a two-year relationship can go a long way. maybe you never received the closure that you need. and even if you do receive that closure anytime soon, is closure enough to stop these feelings?
it's best to talk to your wife about megan. tell her about your relationship if you haven't already had this discussion but make it clear that your love for your wife is unwavering. it's the best way to go about this situation, to prevent yourself from the guilt that springs up from time to time.
2006-09-09 06:12:56 · answer #3 · answered by _val_ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's really normal to feel this way. You too had a long relationship. You can't just totally forget that unless you just didn't care about her. It sounds like though you are just genuinely concerned about her. If you find a way to find out how she is doing, then try to, but it might help to let your wife know. If you and her have the love that strong she will understand. A part of her will always be with you..and that's normal. Don't stress too much. Here is one for ya...I just figured out on myspace.com,when you put your school on your profile, you can click on your school and find people that are on myspace also from your school. I just found a few people I haven't seen since we graduated. Maybe you can find her that way.Good Luck!!
2006-09-09 06:11:16 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's something you're not letting go of, and it's borderlining on obsession, in my opinion. We all wonder about how those we loved are doing now, and we hope the best for them, but I think you're going a bit farther than that.
My advice would be to do some soul searching & ask yourself those very same question you're asking us above. You might say that you've been doing that for years, but maybe you're not asking the right questions, or allowing yourself to see the honest answers.
Some quesitons you might want to ask are:
What is contacting her going to accomplish? Honesly? What are you hoping to accomplish by catching up with her? Do you think it's going to make you feel better? Lessen the confusion? The love you feel for her? Do you want to hear that she's happily married with a husband who she believes is her soulmate? Would you be happy for her, or would you feel jealous that it's not you? What if she's not doing well at all, are you going to feel sympathy for her & want to help her? Would you be able to walk away from her if she feels the same way about you as you do her? Is that what you're secretly hoping for? How would that interferre with your family?
What if your wife had this same conflict within herself with someone from her past? How would you encourage her to handle this situation? If you love her, then she deserves to be treated the same way you'd want her to treat you.
You need closure, and your family deserves for you to get it, because although you have no intentions of doing anything to upset your relationship with your wife, you are stepping into very dangerous territory by so desperately trying to contact a woman you obviously still love. It's to the point that you're putting her name & her city on a public forum.
Please don't feel that I'm attacking you. I'm just hoping that maybe if I put it bluntly that it'll make you think.
Good luck.
2006-09-09 06:18:13 · answer #5 · answered by coolnessa8 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like Megan was your first real love...you'll never forget and you'll always wonder. You have moved on and fallen in love again so don't waste too much energy with this Megan thing...It's a natural human endeavor that we all go thru...I wish you luck in locating her and also in using good judgment -knowing the boundaries of that contact if it were ever to take place.
2006-09-09 06:10:59 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't dare to give you such advice like "Just forget her." I had a boyfreind in my younger years and now 10 years later I still think of him. I am also happily married but I wonder how he is and all of that stuff. He was my first love and I imagine that I will ALWAYS think of him and care about him. I imagine this is the same for you. My advice to you is to just know that this is probably the case and that you will always think of her. As time goes by she will pop into your head less and less but you will probably remember and think of her forever.
2006-09-09 06:11:35 · answer #7 · answered by hounchella 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why you have feelings for her is something that requires interaction. If you want to chat, you can contact me.
However, you should not take another step until you discuss your desire to contact this former girlfriend with your wife. If things are as unwavering as you say, then you will be comfortable with whatever reaction she gives you. If your feelings are pure, then you don't want this possible new contact to be sordid. The only way to guarantee this is to discuss it with your wife.
2006-09-09 06:08:23 · answer #8 · answered by robabard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I haven't seen this girl since 1994 and I still wonder what she's doing, how she is, and all that junk. For some people this is normal. If you really care for someone, why would that ever stop?
2006-09-09 06:08:49 · answer #9 · answered by Nc Jay 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because we have memories through rose tinted glasses, the grass always seems greener....
2006-09-09 06:06:17 · answer #10 · answered by Is Dave Curious?..... 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋