Do any of you believe that there is actually a life out there for the so called "not good looking" people?

Question

I've grew up with the notion that being good looking especially as a girl is perhaps the most important thing to be. The thing is I am not one of those girls. In the eyes of the society I have always been categorised under the 'ugly' group. I never cared about it when I was small naturally, but now I am a teenager and my looks are causing difficulties for me in my social life. I am not really bothered with all the social neglect and bullying that is going on in my life right now, but is it going to be like this all my life? I know girls with all sorts of defects but none are really ever treated as badly as me and my sorts. What I am worried about now is of the possible effects my looks are going to have on my future professional life. Do I at all stand a chance of being in a romantic relationship or anything of the sort? Do us ugly people stand a chance in this world? And don't tell me how the inner beauty is what really matters because I've heard that being said and it never works.

Answer 1

aI know a lot of not so attractive people in loving relationships. a lot of the time they find better relationships than the beautiful people. they don';t have to worry about all of the superficial bull crap. they never have to worry bout if someone is after them just for their looks. maybe you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You're probably not that bad looking.

Answer 2

Keep your head up and don't settle. This will bet better and even the "hot" ones feel ugly sometimes, and that's part of the reason that you are the object of their ridicule. What matters in your professional and personal life is what is in your head. Girls don't need to get boob jobs to be taken seriously and to advance professionally in their careers. Wouldn't your rather be hired on your merit than your physical attractiveness? Even the most "beautiful" woman would be unwise to take a position in a firm that hired her for a double D's instead of her PhD.d.

As far as your social life in high school, you already know that you don't want to be friends with those that pick on you, so think about where you can find kids that share similar interests. Join a club or volunteer at the YMCA or boys and girls clubs. When you work towards something important with someone, the silly little culturally constructed important things become less important, and you'll find friends and be friends with people based on what you do.
Oh yeah. Don't settle, you'll have romantic relationships, so it's important that you determine before hand what qualities you require in a partner and if that person doesn't meet all your requirements, and I assume they are not based on looks, than you will not compromise what you value.

Answer 3

I was you. It's painful and lonely. I had a grand total of two friends and sometimes they would get upset with me then I had none. Do you do well in school? I never did. Those years were too upsetting to focus much. You say you aren't bothered much by the social neglect but lets be honest, how can it not bother you? We all want to be loved and feel that we are special. Do something to pamper yourself. Go to the salon and get your eyebrows waxed or get a nice hair cut. It's simple and petty but It will make you feel better about yourself. Screw what others say about you today! Those are not the people that dictate how your life will ultimately turn out. The people that bully you are teaching you what it is that is disgusting about the world and how not to treat others. All growing up really is is acquiring knowledge through trial and error. I'm not justifying what they are doing to you. I never could do that. You are not alone. That's really what I'm trying to say by all of this. You will grow up and meet some really interesting people who could care less what you look like. I think something about the teenage years is just awkward. You will become more refined with time. Be well!

Answer 4

I agree with the previous answer, you seem to be a very intelligent girl. :)
If you really don't bother it now (which I doubt, because you're a teen), that's great. But I think you shouldn't be treated badly. I remember my high school years and appearence never mattered when it was about partying. If you're a fun girl, you'll be just as popular as beauty queens.
Anyway, even if you're treated badly now, you surely won't be discriminated after high school. People change by then and you too will make friends with a different, better group of people.

I knew a reeeally ugly girl, but she had a great personality and everybody liked her, boys were courting them... etc. So unless you want to become a porn actress or a professional beauty queen, you won't have any negative effects because of your looks. Chin up and try to feel free of these teen expectations. Good luck :)

Answer 5

First of all you are not ugly! I don't think there is such a thing as an ugly person. My late uncle had a best friend whose entire face was a dark birthmark. His face was also disfigured. His right arm and hand was also disfigured. He was outstanding in his disfigurement, but he was taught as a child that this was the life he had to live and to go into it without pity for himself. He became a firefighter, and was a man who was loved by many. He died several years ago saving a woman from a wrecked & burning car.
What do you count ugly about this man? It is what's in your heart and who you are that makes the difference to people. You can choose to ignore your outside self and be a nice & friendly person, or you can go through life envieing others, and that will probably make you miserable. You can do or be what ever you want to be. I know it is hardest when you are still young and in
school, because most school age people haven't yet learned this lesson, but you can stand proud and no one can fault you.

Answer 6

You seem like a particularly intelligent teenager. The best I can say is don't worry so much.

It's going to be hard to do this, but you need to develop a thicker skin to their bullying and taunting. It's best if you don't respond at all to them.

There will be some nice kids out there, boys and girls, who will accept you for who you are. It's just the hardest when you are a teen, as you already know.

There are surveys that say that taller men and more attractive women make it farther in their careers. But, you are really bright, and you could become a doctor, lawyer, or mathematician. The people who'd taunt you in your career should be studied, because their careers will be stunted... let me tell you!

Have you seen the awful mug on Janet Reno? She's absolutely hideous, but she became one of the most powerful women out there. Fine, Oprah has her topped.

Answer 7

Yes, life does get better after high school. The people in school are kids, who can be cruel. Some of these kids will grow up to become human beings, some will stay superficial (though few stay as mean as high schoolers).

Although there will always be some people who judge you based on looks, many will not. Employers want employees who are good at their jobs.

There are men who, when they get to know what an intelligent, articulate, sane, and generally good person you are, will find you beautiful (just as I, myself, have become attracted to and found beautiful men who aren't "good looking" -- you just love looking at them anyway).

Also, you never know; some people become more attractive when they leave high school. But whether you do or not, life DOES get better.

Worry not.

Answer 8

I have been judged all my life, by my looks, I am 38 yrs old. I have light blonde hair, pale skin, green eyes, and large breasts. People always assume that I am a bimbo or a stupid blonde. That is the farthest thing from the truth. I find that professionally, the women who get the most consideration are the women who society would classify as "plain or ugly". No one ever takes me seriously, until I prove to them, that I am an intelligent woman with much to contribute. We all get judged by our initial appearance. In the end, people will "see" you for who you really are, and you will absolutely find a place for yourself, profesionally and romanticly. Anyone who can't get passed your initial appearance, is not someone you would want in your life anyway.

Answer 9

I'm a wedding planner and I have clients of all appearances! So it's not only the Brad Pitts and Angelinas of the world that get married. As a matter of fact, one wedding that I'm now working on involves a bride who is physically not beautiful at all (she's quite overweight and doesn't have a pleasant face either). Yet she is marrying a man who loves her! She is also a successful lawyer so her looks obviously didn't affect her career.

Answer 10

Listen honey blame all this on tv!!NO OF COURSE NOT THIS WILL STOP(THE mocking etc...)ppl tend to pick on you causeittends to give a little spice to yr life im not boasting here but I am beautiful and so are YOU and everybody has sumin beautiful bout em,Know you listen here if you work hard while those sluts who are giving you a hard tym are just stanfing around looking pretty mockinh yo to look "Cool" are wasting their tymYOU CAN WORK AND GET A GOOD JOB CAUSE BEAUTY FADES