we're trying to put something back together. He's trying really hard, buying me flowers, taking me to see all these concerts, spending a lot of money on me..but what's wrong with me? I'm not feeling it and all I feel is a shackle preventing me from being free and moving on with my life. What's wrong with me? All my friends say you're stupid, this guy really loves you why are you willing to throw it away? I just don't understand why I can't be satisfied...help
2006-09-09 03:23:48 · 24 answers · asked by ooolala 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can't be satisfied because the feeling of love for him as gone. It's totally normal and you can't force yourself to like him again. My solution? Tell him the truth, be honest. Why waste your time with something that just isn't going to work out? In the long run you'll be happy and he'll be hurt for awhile but there are others out there.
2006-09-09 03:26:09 · answer #1 · answered by winds_of_justice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a question of your not being satisfied. I think you are being guarded and cautious before you proceed to re-engage in the relationship. Depending on the types of problems you had with him prior to your separation, you might fear that once all the goodies stop he will revert to his old self. This can and does happen in many cases. As much as someone thinks they have changed or demonstrates it, usually they haven't and things will go right back to where they were before you split. I have been there.
It is possible that you just aren't feeling it anymore for him and you have enjoyed your time apart. Perhaps you felt more confident in yourself then and you felt positive about moving forward in your life. There is nothing wrong with that. Change is good and does free us. I have been there too.
Since only you know the entire circumstances of what happened between you, friends really can't judge what is best for you. Nor can we obviously. Only you can do that, honestly. I do suggest that you sit down with your spouse and have a very long heart to heart talk about what you are feeling and to know where he is coming from. To give him the benefit of the doubt it is very possible that he has changed and is sincerely willing to work on the relationship. It appears like he is trying to. The key is to talk about your concerns and feelings so that you both can address them. Be honest and kind in your approach, however. That is the fair thing to do.
2006-09-09 10:38:57 · answer #2 · answered by Sweet Pea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably just don't love him any more. Sometimes women go through so much when they are with a man that after so long the love is gone,never to return. It's OK let him know this he should have bought flowers, took you to concerts, and spent much money on you before when you two were together. Don't bite your tongue to tell him these things. Stop seeing him and file for your divorce,and start dating someone that you could have feelings for. One of these days these men will learn that when you have a good woman you had better do all you can to keep her. GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-09-09 19:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by mothers finest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is because, you are not in love with him. It does not matter that he loves YOU. Think of it this way.... if we HAD to be with everyone who loved us......... quite possibly we would be in 10 relationships or MORE............ our first boyfriend !!!........ and all ex's in which they still loved us and we did not love them anymore......... Your husband is just a guy as your exboyfriends are......... You fell out of love. It's normal. You need to be with someone that YOU LOVE......... not just someone that loves you. For the Love of God... Can you imagine a life where woman stayed with men that they didn't love, just because they loved us ??? Ok.. now that the reality check is done... you must tell him. Yes, he will be hurt. Yes, pain is part of life. Yes , you deserve to live your OWN life and seek happiness the way that YOU wish. Yes, your friends do not "get it ". Yes. someday you WILL find a guy that will make you happy and satisfy you. OH,, ps....... who cares how much money he has spent on you. YOU CANT BUY LOVE. :)
2006-09-09 10:29:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I for one don't agree with your friends if he is doing all these nice things for you , but you still don't feel like it is helping tell him. It maybe hard for him to understand in the beginning but he will understand. Never keep your feelings from a loved one cause then you may never get happiness.
2006-09-09 10:31:18 · answer #5 · answered by MorganBritt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I did the samething with my girlfriend of a long time. Then realized what i through away. When I tried to get her back I tried really hard. I was diffucult but i eventually won her back. If you dont want him then let him know you just cant keep leading him on.
2006-09-09 10:27:16 · answer #6 · answered by Mrbigjohnson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go with your heart. your feelings don't like to you. you have probably moved on from him emotionally and so now you just need to make the break from the person.
maybe see a counselor or clergyman to help you sort things out, but I think you just need to move on.
other people can say whatever they want, but in the end it comes down to you knowing how the relationship really was and nobody else knows better.
good luck
2006-09-09 10:28:08 · answer #7 · answered by island3girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you moved on, but he didn't. You shouldn't let him spend any more money or time on you if you don't feel the spark any more. The longer it goes on, the more he will hurt if nothing comes of it.
2006-09-09 10:29:34 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. Feelgood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe in your mind it was done when you separated ........you two can try counseling! Also gifts and flowers and money is not always the solution......are you two friends? start there and discuss keeping expectations ........don't leave him in the dark about your feelings.communication is key.......all else fails separate and stay friends!
2006-09-09 10:28:00 · answer #9 · answered by crownvic64 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you dont want to repair the relationship.... If he doenst make you happy quit making him spend his money and tell him the truth!!!!!!
He shouldnt be having to try to buy your love back to begin with!!!!
2006-09-09 10:41:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋