My 18 year old Son?

Question

My 18 year old son has been hanging with the wrong crowd. He used to hang with my oldest sons friends. but when Andrew passed away he started hanging with kids who get into trouble. I threaten to kick him out. But the problem is I worry so much about him. I love him and I want him to be ok. But he makes me so angry because he won't listen to me. I'm affraid he's gonna end up Dead or in Prison. What should I do? He talks back to his mother and I and disrespects us. Yesterday he had some kids here who took our cold medicine and drank it to catch a buzz (Nyquil). Turns out theses kids were Runaways. I called the police and the kids were taken away. But he went straight over to some other peoples who Run with the same crowd.

Answer 1

It sounds like your son is having a hard time emotionally and it could be due to the passing of his brother as well. I would strongly suggest getting him into counseling.

Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel

Answer 2

Very sorry you lost your son Andrew. You and your wife have enough sorrow to overcome than to have to go through more with your 18 year old. It isn't easy being a parent. I always say there aren't owners manuals that came with them, we fly by the seat of our pants to try to do the best we can. Sometimes, we can't fix everything, and makes us feel helpless in a way, because we see what the outcome could be, but kids don't. 18 may be legal adult but to me they are still kids. They think they know everything just like we did, and cause we are older, we know we didn't. Unfortunately, you may have your hands tied, because he's 18 the "you can't tell me what to do" factor is there to him, and he very well could be going through a hard time with himself because he lost his brother. You may have to use tough love here dad, you can't let him run you and his mother. If he is living at home, YOU can say " this is my house, I pay the bills, I make the rules, and if you don't like it, then we have to make other arrangements till you respect that" Period!!!! You and your wife have gone through enough, and it is very unfair of your 18 yr old to cause you more stress. As hard as it may be, you don't have to tolerate it. He's gonna do what he wants, you can't end up sick or have a heart attack from the stress, not to mention the stress and/or tension you and your wife could have from all of this as a couple. He is out there partieng, and if he's using, you either have to get an intervention of some sort or let him find out just how hard it is on his own, cause your dealing with someone who isn't going to listen to you, the drugs to numb whatever he's needing to numb, have taken priority over his parents and homelife, your just gonna have to put your foot down, and it will be hard. And take the house key, you need money for drugs, and stealing nyquil, there's the start!!!....... Best of luck to you and your wife, hope some easier times come ya'lls way.

Answer 3

I ALSO HAVE A SON. SO I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE AND CARE ABOUT HIM. YOUR SON IS 18 AND THERE IS NOT MUCH YOU CAN DO AT THIS POINT. HE IS AN ADULT. YOU AND HIS MOTHER HAVE RAISED HIM, TAUGHT HIM RESPECT AND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG. NOW IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO LET HIM GO. IF HE WANTS TO ACT LIKE THIS THEN HE NEEDS TO GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. DOES HE HAVE A JOB? IF YOU KICK HIM OUT HE WILL NEED TO GET A JOB AND GROW UP AND LEARN HOW TO LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD. GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

He's 18 and he should understand whats Bad for him,try to explain to him that his company is bad (which I know he wont accept) and tell him that you are really worried about him with that crowd he hangs out with.
Just ask him how he would feel if you were hanging with the wrong group of ppl.

Dont threaten to kick him out,that would only want him to disobey you more .

Next time he shouts or yells listen to him and repeat exactly what he tells eg "you dont like me do you?
just repeat "what do u mean we dont like you,ofcourse we do"

Dont yell,It might be hard to control your anger.but yelling get out of the house really doesnt work.

Answer 5

This is a common reaction to grief, loss, and anger of the death of a sibling.

I know that you are aware he needs therapy. Make an appointment and bring him to counseling. He'll hate the idea at first but in time it will help him to face the lingering issues of his brother's death.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I think that you need to be much, much stronger. Why did you tolerate those other kids in your house? I don't know what else to say, except that I don't buy into the fact that just because he's 18, you can't do...whatever it is you need to do.

Answer 7

he is 18 years old,there is no much you can do. by law he is a adult. Time for him to get a job,Oh yes take him to where the druies are. in the morgue, and tell him that is your next bed...Or the city jail.If you are able leave his a** in there,,, He may get Boned, and that may change him. for the better.

Answer 8

In my opinion, he is apparantly having a difficult time coping with the loss of his brother. He is angry and sad and doesn't know how to get it out and heal himself. I would strongly suggest you take him to grief counseling.

Answer 9

sounds like the kids and you need some one to talk too, like a pro, with a death around it sucks

Family sitting around talking once a week, let him know you love him and stuff

Answer 10

Being 18 officially makes him an ADULT.
SInk or swim time.