I have a fiance and i do love him we have a child together but i recently went to this pub with a mate, also i met some guys there didnt do anything but theres this one lad who ive kinda fallen for, when i first met him it was like id met my fiance over agen he kinda lept out at me i felt realy weird. It gets even worse.
Weve said to be friends but everytime we go for a drink i get closer and closer attracted to him it feels weird as though it was my love at first sight, Why me i feel so horrible inside because of my partner but this other guy makes me feel like i was 16 again i cant help the way i feel its well hard any suggestions any1 in my situation would be great.
2006-09-09 00:55:05 · 21 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ok, give yourself a shake. This is how it sounds to me, You have a man you want to spend the rest of your life with, he is the father of your child, and I am sure a good one too. This other guy has appeared and shown you some interest and probably made you feel nice and attractive. Does he know you are engaged and a young mum? Look very hard at what you already have, sometimes in a relationship, you can take each other for granted and forget about compliments and romance, may be you need to spice things at home and enjoy what you have. Be very careful that you do not loose everything!
Good luck, what is meant to be will happen.
2006-09-09 01:11:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really need more information. Sometimes we look to other people when we are having problems with the one we love. Maybe this person is great right now but he would be the same after you've been with him a while or even worse. Now you said you have a child with your fiance...I think this is a case of the grass is always greener on the other side. I think you need to not see that guy because it's clear that you can't be friends. Stay with your fiance and DON'T do anything that you can't take back. If you decide to do something with the new guy, let the old one go first. If the old one is nice and you love him very much then never see the new guy again!!! I think down the road you will regret breaking your fiance's heart and breaking up your happy home. I'm not saying that there isn't something there with the new one, I'm just saying that you need to really think about what YOU want before doing anything you'll regret. Good luck--that's a tough situation to be in. Choose with your heart.
2006-09-09 01:43:38 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there too and just got married to the "original" man! I too was about to get married to the guy I have been for a while and have 2 kids with. Met someone who made me feel great, attractive and excited. I had to decide which one I wanted and chose the father of my children and the person who has been loyal to be and has stood by me and the children. Relationships are not only about attraction and excitment especially when they are long term. Look at what you got, whether you really want to loose it and what it would really mean to leave the realtionship you have now. Look at what could be improved, talk to your partner and find ways together to make your relationship more exciting and interesting. Only you two can find that! We can't tell you that! I decided that I would stay and make the most of it, if in a few years time I am unhappy then I will leave but for now he is a good man and the father of my children and that is worth a lot. The other side of the coin of course is that if you are truly unhappy, if he is not a good guy and does not make you feel special then you need to reconsider. Good luck and write if you want to chat about it more.
2006-09-09 01:21:53 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This really depends on the level of commitment that have for your fiance... you also have to consider the most important person in your life - your child. Your child is also your fiance's child so whatever you choose you will always have contact with your fiance and a permanent reminder of him in your child.
I would guess that you made a strong commitment to your fiance and he to you so much so, that you felt happy having a baby together. You now have to decide whether you are going to honour that commitment or move on. If you do decide to move on, then what will happen when the next guy shows an interest in you and you fancy him... will you move on again?
The only person that knows what's right to do is you. You need to think carefully about what you want/need and about what your child needs.
Whatever your decision I hope it works out for the best for you.
2006-09-09 01:25:33 · answer #4 · answered by Chris H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sexual attraction phase of any relationship lasts about three months. Of you can keep away from him for that long and yet he still pushes all your buttons then you can think about leaving a good loving relationship to start another.
In the mean time if you do not want to play with fire and hurt your fiance and your child, keep well away from this man. Do not put your self in the line of fire because for whatever reasons your defences are down. And you will get found out. It shows on your face even if you cannot see it others will.
2006-09-09 02:17:47 · answer #5 · answered by Christine H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
had a similar situation myself. was with a girl 11 years but when i saw this new girl i felt the same as u described. i,d say follow ur heart but thats not always easy (or practical). ask this guy straight out how he feels about you? 4 all u know he may want to be "just friends " & nothing more but if he feels the same then its time 4 that sit down talk with ur fiance. it,ll be hard but if ur thinking about this guy all the time & theres no love between u & ur current guy then why stay together? i know even 4 ur childs future it,ll b hard but u shouldn,t b living ur life thinking "what if?" let me know how it goes. good luck
2006-09-09 01:03:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really love your fiance, than you have to stop giving your time to the other guy...the more time you spend with him the closer you'll feel, thats totally natural...remember why your fiance is already your fiance, but if there is any reason you think you and your fiance are not going to work than now is the time to decide...before you actually get married.
Imagine that your fiance is going out for drinks with another woman....how do you feel and what do you think he should do?
2006-09-09 01:34:07 · answer #7 · answered by puertoricout 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a really hard one to answer, cause it could be alot of things. You like the fact another man has shown you interest in you, asks you things when your fella wouldn't normally. You feel your stuck in a rut and the thrill of having someone want you.
All I can say is follow your heart what ever you decide. If you do decide to split it will be hard but make sure you make the right decision. Just make sure you are happy and your child. That's the important bit!
2006-09-09 01:05:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I may just be infatuation and it may pass. If not, then maybe you should think about whether you really want to get married to your fiance. Is there something different about him that doesn't make you feel that special way anymore?
The bestthing is to just think of it as a passing phase and get on with the life you've already chosen, unless there is something actually wrong with that life.
Or find out if your fiancee is okay with an open relationship.
2006-09-09 01:00:55 · answer #9 · answered by Wyld Stallyns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a grip of yourself - you know this path will ultimately lead to hurt for yourself, your fiance and most importantly your child. Your a mum so your babe must come first. Do what ever you have to do to get over this guy (fantasise about him in bed if that's what you need to do!) and concentrate on the relationship you have with the babies father - be strong girl! Love G x
2006-09-09 01:06:59 · answer #10 · answered by Gaia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋