I have been with my 1st boyfriend for nearly 5 years & we'll probably end up gettin' married..Im in my early 20s. I just feel that i haven't been around. I know my boyfriend is one in a million & he's real sweet to me..anyone in the same boat? I know that if i ask for a 'time-out' ..& if when we get bak..it'll never be the same..*sigh* In my heart i know dat i'll never find one like him if i was to lose him..maybe i should just get over it..but i always think of the 'what ifs'..right now i feel like such a selfish ***** for even asking this..
2006-09-09 00:14:59 · 17 answers · asked by Kaitlynn F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i sometimes pine for someone else..& i haven't even met this someone else..its jus fuken screwed..we haf talked about getting married on several occasions..sometimes as jokes n sometimes serious..n we kinda decided to wait til i finishin uni. but the thing is i want to travel, meet new ppl etcc..i don't want to have kids so soon..but he's dat type..plus he's paying for my uni fees..so i feel like he basically owes me..
2006-09-09 00:38:47 · update #1
owns i mean
2006-09-09 00:39:19 · update #2
thank you all for answering..its good to know im not alone..*hugs*..fanxx
2006-09-09 00:39:55 · update #3
First of all you are not selfish by feeling this way. Everyone who is in a relationship whether their first of fifth has from time to time thought about what it would be like to be with another person.
I have been with my boyfriend since I was 21 and I'm 32 now. I have definitely had these thoughts and still have them, but I don't regret not being with another person because my boyfriend has brought so much into my life. I think it depends on the degree of these nagging thoughts. Do you just have them from time or are they constant?
If it's from time to time then I would just ignore them, but if they are constant than you may need to talk to your boyfriend and tell him your concerns. You may be surprised but he probably has had the same thoughts.
If the thoughts trouble you further, then perhaps consider seeing a counsellor to talk through your worries. Good Luck!
2006-09-09 00:24:42 · answer #1 · answered by Maximisses 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same boat. I left my girlfriend that I had dated since I was 16 years old right after I got out of Grad school. She was fantastic but I wanted to play around. My mistake, I thought there were good woman everywhere, but I ended up getting married to a couple of the most vicious shrews you can imagine. I am lucky I finally found a good woman but it was a long struggle.
It is only natural to have the feelings you have, do not feel bad but think long and hard before you make any decisions.
2006-09-09 00:21:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband and i got together when we were pretty young - only 19, and have now been together for seven years. i did go out with other people before him, and i am glad that i did as it means that i had some understanding of just how great he is.
look - if you have doubts, there has to be a reason for them. however, i have had them many times in my time with my hubby, and each time i realise that i am with the right person. if in the future that changes - well, i can always break up with him. but while ever i am happy, i don't think that it makes to break up with him on the off chance that i might be missing out on something - because in doing so i might miss out on the best thing in my life.
you are not selfish. doubts are only natural, and i get them too. i still do. i am not sure whether they ever go away. but it is up to you whether you listen to them or not. what is more important - the chance that you might never find someone as great? or the chance to know?
2006-09-09 00:25:01 · answer #3 · answered by girl3blonde 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you should go out and experience life a bit more. Yes I know everyone will read this and say oh she should stay with the good one what happens if she meets a jerk,,well if you dont experience alittle more on your own, when times get tough and they will at times you will feel that maybe you could have found another mr right if you had of looked. Now another thing if you tell him that he could say ok me too I want to see other women, can it work both ways?
2006-09-09 00:31:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If what you say here is what you truly believe and feel why then would you want to "time out" from it?
I don't think you're a ***** for asking, however, your thoughts, or feelings, regarding the very idea are telling you something.
If you think you might have short changed yourself of your need to "be around" you should probably postpone getting married.
2006-09-09 00:27:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,there are some people in this world who are just not happy with what they have and they like to create complications in there life but creating issue out of nothing and right now that kinda person is you!!
why do you wanna even consider such a thought,not everyone is lucky to find the right person in life and you have been,just appreciate the fact and love him equally!!good luck!!
2006-09-09 00:27:40 · answer #6 · answered by country_girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already know what you want to do.
I agree that if he is the only guy you've seriously dated perhaps someday that may haunt you enough to wonder what you've missed. You may then feel resentful. Who knows where that could lead?
Also, you do not know if this relationship will lead to marriage. To be honest, five years and still no proposal makes me wonder.
You are having doubts yourself so you have to decide what you need, and can't worry about his reaction...
2006-09-09 00:22:59 · answer #7 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know that feeling but we ended up only four months.. hahaha before you get married, settle all things down.. you have hesitations, surely not about your boyfriend.. if you ask for some time and space, many things could happen, that you'll find other happiness, and he'll find his happiness. if you're into the risk and more satisfied if you try the what-ifs, then you go ahead, you know what you're doing..
2006-09-09 00:22:32 · answer #8 · answered by `red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think the grass is greener on the other side???
Maybe it is or isn't, sounds like you have decided already.
Why would you want to leave your partner of your dreams, let me tell you "don't take it for granted, you will miss what you don't have if you leave".
What would you rather sleep around and get treated like a ho?
2006-09-09 00:29:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look take it from someone who's seen people who have Bean around and studied rather intensely.... don't focus on what you may be missing. five years is a long time to be with someone to just throw away.
If you have Bean with them this long and have already decided that he is one in a million why go find something worse?
2006-09-09 00:21:22 · answer #10 · answered by jon i 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋